Long question but I desperately need help. so my husband of 10 years just left a week ago and has been very stern on wanting divorce. This came out of nowhere I just asked to see his phone for something random and he freaked out and after we had a short argument he just walked out. We have two kids together a 2 year old daughter and a 7 year old son. So our 7 year old didn’t care that he left he has actually told him before to leave because my husband or soon to be ex is hateful and rude anymore. So he left our son didn’t care didn’t want to talk to him see him nothing. Well of course I am completely crushed and trying to stay strong for them. I haven’t cried in front of them or bad mouthed my husband the first time. My ex has been so cold to me. Just keeps saying he left because he wasn’t happy and he hasn’t loved me for three years well he never acted different towards me we had a baby in that time he even got my name tattood on his neck. I still tried because emotionally im broke and my husband came from a broken family. we live in a small town and his dad is known as a pervert and has been married multiple times, his mom died when he was young but his aunt told me she was never a mother either. I guess I try to use that in a defense but honestly 10 years and two kids hes a adult he has had plenty of time to make his own life. we’ve been arguing because he’s been ignoring talking to me being rude to me even got drunk and cussed me when I asked where he was at. My son finally agreed to talk to him yesterday they talked and then we talked and it was all good. I never thought about it but when he was video calling the kids it was always dark or outside when he would almost like hes hiding them. so tonight my son asked to call him again. I wrote him and said are you going to call the kids and he said no I don’t feel good ill talk to them tomorrow. of course my son was like whatever then im done and I got so mad and I called him out on it. told him that was a horrible excuse especially when our son just agreed the night before to talk to him. I told my husband or ex that he needed to get help. he has never talked about his feeling or anything and he doesn’t seem to care about anyone else’s and of course he got mad and did his usual shut down of hes going to bed he isn’t talking about this and so on. I need to know if I’m right on just doing the divorce and getting the kids away from him. Hes thrown up in my face im keeping the kids from him but hes literally trying like its so hard on him like he’s trying so hard to change for them but isn’t doing anything. I don’t want to keep the kids from him but as a mom I don’t want them hurt or mental like him. please give me your option on what you would do im at a lose and I don’t want my emotions to over rule my judgment. and on the side he never let me work or have money so when he left he left us with nothing.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like he has moved on. I hope he steps up for his kids and is still there for them
I honestly feel as if you’re doing the right thing by keeping the kids from him. If he’s not making an effort and your son is stating that he wants nothing to do with him I feel you’ve done the right thing if you’re getting the divorce and keeping the keeps. No child deserves to grow up feeling as if their father isn’t being a father to them and you don’t deserve the pain or the situation he put you in. To me it sounds like he did you a favour by leaving because you were better off with out him