How can I bond with my 7 month old son?

Hello, how can I bond with my 7months old son?..since birth I have always felt like we don’t connect. He would cry relentlessly, even I would try soothing him, but it wouldn’t work. I would try to breastfeed him, but he would refuse…but when held by his father, he would fall asleep almost instantly, in less than 10minutes. I now have a nanny, and he refuses to be fed by me. But with the nanny, he feeds very easily and completes his meal. When I try to soothe him to sleep, it can take me almost an hour for him to sleep, and that’s with several holding positions. The nanny only holds him for less time, and he’s asleep. When he sees the nanny, he smiles…I would have to play with him just to see his smile …I am frustrated a lot that I am not being a good mother or that we will never bond at all. So much I am scared to have future kids because I can’t handle not bonding with them. Please help me, is it a phase now or that’s it?he’s not going to have a relationship with me?

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Just hold him and spend more time with him. Sounds like maybe he spends more time with the nanny.

He can feel your tension. Try to let any expectations fall away and just spend time with him.

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Are u high stress? Try to relax. Your baby spent months inside bonding with you. I was very stressed after having my 1st and I think it contributed to most of my issues.

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Baby can sense that tension and has probably felt it since birth. Maybe get some therapy going as it sounds to me there are some things those of us reading don’t know about you that may be aiding in how you feel and why you feel it, but also figure out a way even when angry frustrated tired all that to allow yourself to feel some type of joy, inner peace so that he can also.

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Have you thought about ppd . I have heard a lot of people say they felt this was . Not to depressed but definitely enough to feel disconnected .

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Try snuggling skin to skin! Reading or singing to him

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He can feel your tension your body language your everything and thats why he is the way he is, I think having a nanny is only making it worse because he’s obviously bonded with her so bonding with you is goin to make it harder.

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I can’t relate but my daughter is 6 it sucks. I have no advice :confused:

I felt like that for a year with my son n I was diagnosed with postpartum depression. I would go speak to your doctor.

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Talk to your doctor about PPD. Sounds like exactly what youre describing.

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He’s feeling your tension. Relax…do push it…let him come to you. Little steps…get to know him…just RELAX.

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He can feel your stress/anxiety. I know that doesn’t really help in how you feel, but he can feel it and it stresses him out. You just have to remain calm and relaxed, keep trying to play with him and bond with him. Put him in a front pack type carrier and go for walks with him every day around the same time if possible. Create little routines with him. This happened with my daughter (6th child) She only wanted my husband. I was stressed though constantly because I was supporting us and going to school. I had to slowly build that bond with her and build routines with her. Now she is 2 1/2 years old and she loves her mama. It took a lot of time and working with her. We did baths every night around the same time for a long time (even just to play in the water) and then I would rub her down with baby lotion and get her into pajamas and we would snuggle for a bit and I would put her to bed. Just don’t give up. Also, not every child is the same. All 6 of my other children are 100% mamas babies and want me all the time. So just because it’s taking extra work to bond with this baby, does not mean that you will have these same struggles with future children.

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He is probably sensing your stress. Try to relax. Maybe talk to your doctor.

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Definitely talk to your doctor about possibly having postpartum depression. This was one of my signs too. After I talked to my OB about it and got the help I needed, that feeling went away and I was able to bond with my son. Also, bath time is a great way to bond. It’s a great way to relax and help the baby relax. It will get better mama :blue_heart:

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Definitely seconding this: read with him and talk to your doctor and a therapist about PPD.

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Awe. Have you talked to your OB about these feelings? I had post partum depression really bad with my 4th and it presented as anxiety. Please talk to your doctor about your feelings. Also, please don’t fear not bonding with your baby. It will come. Also, bonding doesn’t look the same for everyone. You are doing great!

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If it was me, I’d cut back the nanny if possible and just spend more time.
I’m sorry you’re having trouble. :heart:.

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When I took my daughter for a check up when she was a baby, her doctor asked if I left her with a babysitter to spend me time. I told him I did and he said that helps keep the mother and baby with their stress. Maybe spend some time shopping or doing activities outside of your house sometimes to see if that will help your bond with your baby. I actually was living with my parents and was fortunate enough to have my mother as a babysitter. Maybe take the afternoon to spend with a friend. This will definitely help with your stress levels. Including baby.

What brings you joy ? Hobby or sport or ?? What makes you happy when you talk abt it ? Like for me its rafting, even if I talk abt rafting it brings me a inner joy . So hold you baby and talk abt the thing that makes you happy and joyful even if it’s just writing abt it he will feel your inner joy and you can start there . Even if it’s short intervals.

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