Does anyone know how to break a child of lying? It started with blaming her brother for something because she didn’t want to get in trouble. Now she’ll lie about what color her wall is. She turned 6 in August. Has an almost four-year-old brother and a baby sister. I’ve tried talking to her and explaining that I need to be able to trust her and I can’t do that when all she does is lie to me and her daddy. I need some advice. Yes, they’re all 3 our biological children, and we’re married and live together.
I tell my kids they have one chance to tell me truth but if I find out it’s a lie they get harsher consequences. Mr 6 has been really bad with lying lately but works on him.
I always told mine that I already know the truth and I’m giving them one chance to tell it
Tell her she can’t do the things she likes cuz you don’t trust her. Keep her right next to you like hover until she can’t stand it. If she wants the freedom to be a big girl she needs you to trust her. Praise her when she makes it thru the day without making you doubt her but don’t be too quick to back all the way off. A natural consequence of lying is people not trusting you.
First off, do you punish her for what she did and for lying? (Don’t have to answer that) point being, I taught my children that if you do something wrong and lie about it, their punishment will be tough. If they admit what they did then they don’t get punished because they told the truth. We do have a nice talk about what they did wrong and how they can make better choices. I also explained to them that if their was a time where it was between one of them and another child/children lying about a situation that happened at school or anywhere, that I needed to be able to have 100% trust that they are telling the truth so I can stand up for them.
Tell her you don’t believe anything she says. When she tells the lies interrupt quickly and say " nope, that’s a lie" and walk off. 6 year olds know way more than we think.
I always tell mine I know the truth and if they don’t tell me their favorite item of the day will be taken away. And they will throw a tantrum about it but once they tell me the truth I sit with them on the side alone and talk to them about how important it is to always tell the truth even if they are scare the truth it always the way to go
8 year old did this for awhile. The 11 year old too. I started doing anything that came out of the mouths were lies. If they told me something happened at school stop lying. It was to a point my daughter and son couldn’t be in another room without me. They hated no freedom. I told them this is the consequence to lying. After months of telling the truth they got to go to another room. The 11 year old decided the last few weeks to start lying again so he is loosing his freedom. It will be sitting right next to me. He hates it
My daughter does the same thing, it’s always “I don’t know!” When we ask a question. Ex: why does the dog smell like maple? Did you eat in your room? Did you take this out of our room? Why is there wax melt all over the floor?! We tell her that her that we may be mad but telling us the truth will be less of a punishment- now if she lies she doesn’t get tv or she doesn’t get her LOLS (hate those things) and has extra chores added
Make sure you explain WHAT a lie is and why they are bad. Every time. Don’t punish for telling the truth and thank her when she is honest.
I know you said you have 3 kids , I noticed my oldest did it for attention , and do you yell at her or talk it through with her ?
My 6 year is my step son and lies to his mentality unstable mother about what goes on over here. We asked him if he wanted to go play Legos with just him and daddy and he told us he just wanted to watch dad play video games. Well, when his mom called that night, the first thing he did was tell her we never play with him. He stayed in his room for 2 days (allowed to eat and potty) until he told the truth to his mom. He has 400lb of Legos along with other toys so he’s isn’t bored. And his sisters were allowed to go play with him. His mom is threatening court for primary custody. The issue is he is the baby over there and the middle child over here. Good luck and be hard on them.
My 7yo just started with this too, about dumb stuff! Totally inconsequential things. I explained the boy who cried wolf and then stressed how much I hated lying. I told him the next time he lied to me and didn’t immediately correct it, I would destroy one of his favorite things and then throw it away.
That boy has tried his hardest to stop. I always give him an opportunity to come.clean and he does now.
Of course he also knows I’ll throw everything away and I’m not bluffing, doesn’t matter how much money it cost me.
This may be a dumb question, but does she understand what a lie is ? also you said she has 2 younger siblings that live with her full time do you and dad have time set aside just for her? is she doing it just looking for attention because the little ones need mom and dad more. my children are 18 years apart so it may seem silly to ask them questions but I asked my self that when I had my daughter not thinking about it but my son went from being the only child to having a sister in the home it was a big change and even though being older he still wanted our time. I do believe there is children’s books about lying. you could tell her that if she lies her nose will grow like Pinocchio lol I wish you the best. note:: everytime I wrote lied the nose would pop up .
Read her the book/story Peter and the Wolf. Might help her realize that if she continues to lie, it will be difficult for anyone to believe her if something was seriously wrong. Kids like stories so read it more than once.
Could be an attention thing is she feeling pushed out slightly obvs all kids lie so thays normal some more then others u just gottq teqch her why lieing is wrong
When I would catch my daughter lying when she was younger I would put one drop of Tabasco on her tongue, it’s stopped pretty fast.
At this age learning the skill of lying is actually a good thing. Their brain is developing and making huge leaps as far growth. It doesn’t mean it should be rewarded however.
My kids teens/tweens now. I did it two ways then and I do it now too. It still works. Kids will lie for different reasons as they grow up. Most of them are innocent and let’s be honest how many of us still tell little white lies from time to time? Perhaps you call in sick to work because you stayed out late. You tell a mom from your moms group that your busy on the day she wants a play date. Your not, but you don’t like her kid. I use their own lies against them.
Example(real one that we had): My daughter was 5yrs old and wrote her name on the wall in her room. When asked about it she blamed her brother who had just turned 3yrs old. In a very surprised tone I’ll play along, ‘What a cheeky thing to do! That isn’t what we do is it?’ When she agrees with me and seems glad I believe her, I start to ask questions. How did he get that high up the wall, how did he get in her room so quietly since he is napping in his room, how did he get the pencil. I let her answer each of them. Then replay the whole lie back to her. When he wakes up, all the sibling get told that writing on the wall is not what we do in our house. I tell my son how clever he was but next time he should write on paper. Then reward him for being so strong and clever. When she asked why, I told her the lies she used. He got out of his room without me noticing. He pushed the chair without a sound to the wall. He then got your pencil that was in your bag and wrote your name so clearly! He put your pencil away, put the chair back, and fell back asleep without me hearing him. Not to mention how nicely he wrote your name! (He couldn’t talk yet or hold his colors using his fingers instead of his fist(he has dyspraxia). My that is very clever indeed. His OT will be excited.
She has one option, watch him get praised and rewarded for her lie to work. She was so mad that he was called clever and strong and then rewarded for her ‘cleverness’, she outed herself. That’s when she and I talk about how lies hurt people. She got to clean up her wall, lost the privilege to keep all pencils and anything else that writes in her room, and she had to apologize to her brother and myself.
Well based on what you told us, I would say it’s for attention. She is 6, with 2 younger siblings. Kids at 6 lie and anyone who tells you they don’t are blind. Its normal for her to act out if she doesn’t feel she is getting enough of your guys attention.
I told my kids the story of the little boy who cried wolf… But honestly, I don’t think that helped much. They still lie from time to time.