How can I deal with grand parents that play favorites?

Hi mamas, I’m looking for some input on how to handle grandparents who favour certain grandchildren. My mother-in-law has always favored my sister-in-law kids, but my breaking point is this Christmas. Her two kids got homemade shirts from my mother-in-law, and my son got a toy. I have raised this before so both my mother-in-law are sister-in-law are aware of my concerns, but my sister-in-law purposely made a big scene telling her kids oh let’s see your shirts. My niece who got a shirt pulled her shirt off and put on her new shirt her grandma made, but my poor son pulled his shirt off and I had to tell him he didn’t get a shirt from his grandma. My heart broke for him. He’s only 2 years old. I’m heartbroken thinking that grown adults would purposefully intentionally cause hurt to a child like this. Last Christmas my mother in law made a quilt for my niece. She is a year older than my son so you would think this year my son would get a quilt but nope. This has been going on since he was born. My mother in law knitted and sewed all sorts of things for my niece and nephew, but nothing for my son. I told my husband before this Christmas that if they pull any of this favourtism with special handmade stuff for our niece and nephew and just a store bought toy for my son, that I won’t be taking him to Christmas anymore, and sure enough they pull this. We’ve had a few falling outs with his family and we don’t see them much. How would you handle this? My sister thinks I shouldn’t say anything since you can’t make people do anything.


As I alway said if you cannot treat the children same don’t buy them nothing and if you cannot take all the children and love them you’re ain’t Allowed take the kids.


I would be happy my kid didn’t have to wear a handmade shirt lol. It’s probably ugly af.


Ban your son from seeing him! Shun them from your lives! Tell your husband to disown his mother! There. That’s the advice want.

But really? How is that favoritism? They all got presents. You’re making a big deal out of nothing. Teach your child to be appreciative, not compare what he got to others.


Your sister is right. Don’t SAY anything… instead take ACTION & DO what you told your husband you were going to do!


Don’t bother saying anything. Just never let them see him again. Your child doesn’t deserve to be treated like that. He doesn’t need to know them if that’s how they’re going to treat him. My grandmother has KNOWINGLY broken my rules regarding my baby multiple times. This last visit was the last straw. Now she’s never going to see him or I again and I don’t even take her calls. He’s YOUR child, so you make decisions and changes where you see fit. If they don’t like it oh well🤷🏼‍♀️


Keep your kids away from unhealthy relationships !

You can’t make anyone do anything but you can remove your children from their life


My situation is literally the same! My mil favors her daughter or her son(my husband) I’d open my mouth but that’s just me.

I personally hate handmade gifts but your son is being treated differently, it’s obvious.


I would stick to your guns and no longer go to their family gatherings. If they can’t treat him like the other kids then they won’t be seeing him. I had family favor others when I was growing up so that’s why I have no problem not seeing them because in the end myself and my children are more important. Have a special Christmas at your place or travel. Make memories he will enjoy remembering


Seriously? From a child’s perspective I’d sure as hell rather have a toy than a shirt?


I would be upset too. If they can’t show the same amount of love to all of the children I wouldn’t be bringing mine around. That’s bullshit.

:cry: aw he was taking his shirt off. That’s so sad and so unfair that a grown ass woman is blatantly showing favourites.

I wouldn’t say anything, I would just simply stop coming to their holiday festivities. Eventually they will get the point and if not. It’s probably for the best. This will only hurt your kids later in life as they get older and the gifts start to get more expensive, phones, electronics, ect.


I don’t know that it is favoritism…perhaps mil doesn’t feel like you would appreciate homemade gifts as much as sil does? She may have felt like buying his presents from a store would be more what you and your hubby would appreciate. (From personal experience, I know that my bf and I have some people we have to buy for specifically from a store. I have made them homemade gifts in the past and you can feel how much they disliked the idea even tho they say thank you.)

Perhaps talk to your mil and ask why she doesn’t make homemade items for your son and express how much you would appreciate it if she did in the future.


You 've already solved your own problem soooo what’s the issue. Do what you say, say what you mean.


We deal with this as well, my mother favors my oldest child, and my other 2 are 2 and 4 and my 4 year old is really noticing now, and my 2 year old is now realizing as well that he never gets to go to “nans”. I’ve been keeping my mouth shut about it, but its to. The point where it wont continue, my oldest gets babies beyond belief there and acts out tremendously at home for weeks after, we finally start making headway and he goes back there for a weekend and we have to start all over, its beyond ridiculous so I totally feel you.


I’m gonna be honest. Don’t say a word. Be thankful for what your son got and let it be. She won’t treat them the same no matter what you do. She doesn’t like you.


What you allow is what will continue.