How can I deal with my boyfriends ex?

How do I deal with my boyfriends ex who is also his baby mama? Long story short, I take care of him when my boyfriend is at work and when we’re all together. She’s rude and disrespectful to me about everything. She even tries to change my plans over hers. On holidays we have to wait for her to give the ok when she wants us to get him. On my own kids birthday I have to wait to take him for plans we have because it’s also her dads birthday. I’m to the point where I don’t know if I can do it any longer. What should I do?


Better get used to it! My husband has two baby Mama’s. It’s a process of give and receive and if there is no giving on her end things will be tough. Just do your best to ignore it, stay positive and just be the adult. Your kids are YOURS so give them the best life you can and the rest will fall into place. :two_hearts:

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Your kids birthday, if on her day, is not her problem. And based on custody order she may have every right to do that for holidays. Long story short, this is between him and her not you. And your kid doesn’t really have anything to do with their arrangement either. If you want his son at the birthday then have it on your boyfriends day.


Either grow up and play nice with eachother or get a custody order.


You, not much. Your Boyfriend, get a more detailed and specific custody order in place.


Talk it out, work it out or move on. Baby mama drama not worth it.


That’s what you signed up for sweetie… Just do the best you can and be flexible! Flexibility makes everything so much easier. She can be rude and disrespectful all she wants but her feelings and opinion of you don’t really matter. Those kiddos and your husband love you and that’s what matters. Keep that in mind!


Get a custody order and follow that. Baby momma drama is a lot to deal with. It can eventually be a deal breaker. I know I’m getting to that point


no, tell him to get a baby sitter at her place.

I have a boyfriend who has an extremely bitter BM … honestly it’s all about control and I hate to say it but if your boyfriend isn’t doing much about it continue your plans even if it doesn’t involve his child :woman_shrugging:t2: eventually it’ll come to their eye as they get older that the only reason they miss out on fun things is because of their mother


its gonna be this way rest of your life-accept it or be gone


Get a more detailed custody order, get used to it, or leave.
Pretty simple.

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how many of his babys are you willing to take on?


  1. Unless he has a custody agreement then there is nothing you can do.

  2. If he doesn’t, then he should. If he does then he could take her to court for not abiding by it.

  3. As a mom, you should know what you get into when you are in a relationship with someone with a child.


You knew she was gonna be part of your relationship :smirk:


Holiday’s you can’t really change, on your kid’s birthday, honestly I would keep my plans the same. :woman_shrugging:t2: she doesn’t give you the kid in time to go somewhere ? Guess the kid isn’t apart of it. I’m sorry, but that part would make me mad… your child’s birthday doesn’t resolve around her. Or your bf stays home and waits for his kid then can meet you guys for the plans you already had made for your kids.


I agree with #VickyBowley above. Until then your man’ child can do it for you, when your plans go forward without him. (I know seems cruel)

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Get it set in stone now … lawyer up! I’ve dealt with this and 10 yrs later still no change .

My advice, don’t date people with kids!


I was in almost the same position before we got full custody. When it’s your kid’s birthday don’t change the plans because of her. Either his child misses it or he can wait on his child and bring him/her there. Holidays is always a struggle but He should be the one talking with her and getting a better visitation schedule. If he doesn’t put his foot down it will ALWAYS be like this. Sorry sweetie