How can I explain to my daughter my fiance isn't her bio father

This is probably a far stretch, but I need some suggestions. I met my fiance five years ago when my daughter was newly three years old. She has met her biological dad a few times before that, but he was never present. He has no interest in seeing her at this time. She has called my fiance’s dad since before I could remember. We now have a 2-year-old daughter (who looks different than my oldest), and we are getting married this summer. We have decided to sit down and explain things to my oldest daughter because she has no idea that my fiance, the man she has called daddy, is not her biological dad. I am going through a battle to change her last name to match his, her sisters, and soon, mine. I think she should know and we are nervous… I’m hoping to get a book to help explain things but a book for an eight year old. Does anyone have suggestions for a book to explain the difference between bio and stepdads but talking about a stepdad who stepped up and him being her daddy no matter what?


Think you should let it be…Maybe an I say Maybe tell her when she is old enough to understand…Or not at all


This was asked this morning maybe refer to that

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She’s just a child. Leave the matter for when she’s age appropriate to handle that kind of load… Let him be dad looks are nothing these days


Maybe look into adoption? As far as not looking alike…makes no difference. (Our 2 look nothing alike. Our oldest looks like me and the youngest looks like hubby).

My daughter is 8 and im not even close to ready for that convo keep doing what ur doing and shell see and understand more when shes older. :hugs: good luck sweets

As a mom who had to go through that when my ex husband left, the only dad sue knew… let it be. My daughter is now 12 and wishes she had not found out. I’d he is raising her as his own let it be for now and wait til she is older. My daughter I had to explain it to her because my ex’s new girlfriend at the time told my daughter “he isn’t really your dad anyway”. I would wait until she is older. My daughter’s father has never been around like your daughters. Wait until she is at least In middle school

Leave her alone wait until she is older


Personally, I wouldn’t do it yet. My husband isn’t my daughter’s biological dad, but he’s been in the picture since she was 10 months old. Our situation is a little different because her bio dad is still in her life, but she calls both of them daddy. She doesn’t realize that my husband wasn’t there when she was born. She is about to be 6 next week but we don’t really plan to explain it until she’s old enough to put two and two together and ask questions. I feel that would be easier than just breaking it to her on our own. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!

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We changed my youngest sons name to his stepfathers name (no adoption, just a legal name change) and all we had to do was to sign the back of the birth certificate and have his bio dad sign. Not sure if that’s helpful. Good luck.

I think leaving it alone at her age and everything going on in the world right now is the better of the solutions, if you feel you have to tell her contact a child counselor and ask for help, with the the baby that looks different if she was to question it I would also ask for guidance through a counselor. I’ve been through this my daughter knew from the start but my now husband is her father since she was 8 yrs and her brothers are her brothers she is 18 now , we went through the name change court battle before we got married and while I was pregnant with her brother we never mention that she is a half sibling. Looks are not everything with siblings I was oblivious until I was well into my teens that my oldest brother was my half brother.

Let it be, don’t put that burden on her, all that is gonna do is make her feel different and like the odd ball out. When she is older and has much more comprehension she will most likely put it together herself.


I wouldn’t say anything until
She is older


Don’t act like it’s a tragedy or traumatic. When she asks simply say her biological donor chose to not be around. Her dad picked her to be his first daughter. So many families nowadays are made up blending all kinds of pack members that it’s not a big deal.


Whether or not they are related by blood is not significant right now. He is the man that is raising her and loves her so he IS her father. That is all that she needs to know right now. There will be plenty of time to explain it to her later.


I was adopted at 5weeks old I can’t remember when my parents told me but I knew when I started school…yes it’s different …you know your child better than anyone it’s your choice

Our son has been raised by myself and my now husband since he was 6 months old. When he started to talk his Dad and he agreed he would call him daddy Charley (my husband’s name), because my stepkids mother moved 7 states away without a word when they were very young and they called each of her ‘friends’ dad up to and including her now husband. It broke a little bit of my husband’s heart, so he was overly considerate to our son’s bio-father, and his feelings despite zero involvement from him. Our son usually just calls him Dad now, or Charley (because that’s what 19 year olds do sometimes) but he knows the difference between a dad and a father and that distinction was important. I absolutely would be honest if she asked, but I doing think I’d attempt to lay it out for her right now. If bio-father develops a sudden interest in having a consistent relationship with her and you and her dad are both comfortable with it happening that is when you should sit down with her and have a talk about it. Barring that, I’d hold off until she asks, and she should be told before her little sister, cousins and great aunts so that it doesn’t become something that could cause you all pain

Tou should really wait. It brings more questions, and they end up doubting themselves. Why weren’t they good enough, why couldnt he love me? What did I do wrong. You should wait til she is old enough to actually understand. Good luck, and congrats.

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Do NoT let it be!
I explained it to my oldest when she was 8, that Daddy wasn’t the man who made her with me. Daddy is her “real” daddy cause he was here and took care of her. Dave is her bio dad.
Never mentioned Mackenzie being a half sister cause that’s not necessary.
Oldest is 24 now and no regrets in telling her when I did.
It’ll never be a good time to tell her, so do it now.

No you need to explain