How can I get my 6 year old daughter to listen to me?

When my daughter was that age she started acting out twice. The first time was discipline related. Had to be fair and consistent and ensure she stayed with her routine. She’s 9 now and still she has to have that routine or she seems lost.

The second time she was doing it for my attention. I had been really busy at work and working extra hours. She was acting out because even bad attention was attention to her.

I feel it is normal at this age where instead of just mom they have teachers and other adults who tell them what to do so in becoming a thinking independent person t bgg ey realize they are making decisions. Or maybe they are overwhelmed and can’t listen. I think it’s a time for patience and guidance, reminders to do the right thing.

It’s called discipline. Yelling is not discipline. Give 1 warning and not yelling it, then time out or whatever kind of discipline you do.

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My daughter is almost 6 she is an amazing little girl I speak only once when I really mean it but she also likes to play with me to make me say it twice but other than that I don’t struggle so much she is lovely I’m enjoying her so much as she is getting older I always thought that it will be sad for me to see how fast she grows up but now! It is so awesome to see her develope Infront of my eyes and every single day there is something new…

I love you my daughter…

What works best for me is giving more positive attention then negative attention. When all a kid hears is negative, they tend to stop caring. Hope this helps.

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I used to have my daughter sit with her back against the wall in whatever room I’m in. Those days, she was about 5-6. I’d leave her there just a few minutes or if she calmed herself down, then walk over and talk to her in a calm voice about why I had put her there. It took a freakin’ long time but she listens better now (she’s 7.5 and as sweet as can be). Onto my son (4.5) now! Not looking forward to it! It seems like he’s more of a terror than she was! Good luck momma!

If nothing works, do it to her. I ignored my daughter once (on purpose) so she would know how it feels to have someone not listen to them.
They wise up pretty quickly when they experience that irritation! Good luck :smiley:

When my boys ignore me, I ignore them the next time they need something. ( Unless it’s an emergency) it solved that problem with my oldest in about a week. Still working on it with my youngest, but he’s catching on!

I feel the exact same with my girls mine are 10,12,15 .
Since lockdown it’s like they’ve taken over and think they rule us . I must shout everyday and I hate it . I take things off them and send them bed earlier but doesnt always work .

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Ignore her back. If she asks you for something to drink ignore her and keep doing what you’re doing like you didn’t hear her. When she starts to throw a fit tell her how does it feel to be ignored, you do it to me all the time. Don’t ignore me and I won’t ignore you. Repeat when necessary.

Yes its normal. My 7 year old went through it and my 5 year old is going through it now. It will get better. But I know what you mean by not wanting to yell all the time. Sometimes I get down to their level and try to speak calmer. Sometimes it helps sometimes not. Hang in there!

If you have anything that plays music the minute you feel yourself get aggressive toward your child play a song dance with her get her mood change and yours pretty soon she won’t like arguing and neither with you you’ll both be good dancers

Quietly sit beside her and ask quietly what she is watching or doing. Start the conversation that way.
Don’t yell, although tempting, just use a quieter than normal voice tone.
Worked for all 5 kids!
And now grandchildren!

I am guilty of being a yeller too, but I’ve learned over the last 13 years that it doesn’t help. As I’ve gotten better about it, I’ve seen a change in my son. I heard a quote “an escalated parent cannot deescalate a child” and it’s so accurate. They feed off you. Reward the good, over and over again. When you reward her, remind her WHY she’s being rewarded

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From what I hear and am experiencing myself, most kids are having a tough time right now with everything going on. Sometimes just talking to my daughter helps

Or 34 don’t get any better. Sorry I couldn’t bring your sports up. I just kept saying one day I hope your Kiddos do the same to you. And by the way Karma is wounderful…

My sister always said, they are good for 6 months and then try your patience for 6 months and it goes back and forth, I’d have to agree

Time for “table talk”. I did this with my kids when they were younger. Do it when you are both relaxed and no yelling. That accomplishes nothing. Let her talk first and listen.

Is she feeling ok? An change in routine? New person in her life? Covid restrictions getting to her? Trouble with schoolwork? Sometimes kids can’t verbalize what’s going on so they act out

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Talk to her like a person. Like: hey… we have a problem, can I talk to you about it? And go from there. And listen to her too!

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