How can I get my child to clean their room?

I need all the tips I can get on how to get a kid to clean up their room. My older 2 keep their rooms perfect all the time (minus some vacuuming). The youngest (9) … keeps her room a hot mess. It is a CONSTANT fight with her! I’ve thrown things away, taken away privileges, you name it. She has never lived in a “messy house”, so I’m not sure what makes her think it is ok.


Have her slowly start some kids just aren’t wired that way. Maybe make her do her clothes or her other stuff slowly. Try rewards.

My rule with my kids since toddler age is that everything has to be put away before they leave their room. Apart from bathroom and drink this is constantly enforced. They are now 7 and 9 and I have never had issues. I have to go in and organize at times with new things and what not but it is never messy and never a fight.

Chore chart! Mine are the same way, it’s like it doesn’t even cross their minds to put their dirty clothes away but when I mention it to them it’s no problem and they do it immediately. So a physical chore chart has been a great incentive for them to do things on their own.

Put some rat poop and a dead animal :raised_hands:t3:


If you can shut the door, then leave her to it. All people are not identical. Stop trying to make your round peg fit your square hole.


Even my daughter was about 8 we had a showdown about her messy room. I finally gave her a deadline to have the floor cleaned with stipulations that I couldn’t be shoved under the bed or in a closet.
At the deadline it was all under her bed. I grabbed a Rubbermaid tub and put it all in there. Later I went through it but she will tell you I threw it all away. Guess who became freakishly organized?

Take her to the store. Let her pick out fav toy/candy. Then hold it hostage till the room is clean.

Other times I help out and get all of my kids together and we tackle each others rooms as a team

Other times when they ask for iPad time or snack I’ll say. First clean your room.

Nothing is given freely in my house. After homework and chores then the kids can have their free time and snacks.

We love having our house clean so when it is that way I make remarks to the kids about how nice it looks and how good it feels to have a clean house

I literally just threw half my kids toys away and did the one toy box rule. I did a major clean out myself and now I have a chart with their names and I do room check every day and if their room is what I expect it they get a star for that day. If they keep their room clean every day of the week then at the end of every week I reward them with a blizzard/icecream. If not then they get nothing. Since your other kids keep their rooms tip top shape then include them. Guarantee one week of your 9 year old not getting an ice cream like everybody else she’ll keep it clean after. It’s working for me but you really have to stick to it and take it seriously in order for her too. Just advice that’s been working for me that I thought I’d share with you.

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My 11 year old was like this. She now has to clean her room everyday when she gets home from school before she can touch her phone or laptop. It’s what worked for us. It may take a while but once she knows you aren’t given in, she’ll take note.

Give her 30min or a hour to pick her room up. Get a garbage bag when the time is up whatever is not cleaned up it’s yours now. They have to show they will clean up to get their things back. It work with my Daughter.

For me this has always been a pick your battles think. As long as food is that in that room I don’t care.

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I give 3 chances.
Taking stuff only works if they don’t get it back the next day or if they have to earn it back.
For her, sit down and ask her how she feels when she walks into her room. She may have anxiety with the clutter but doesn’t know how to express it. Having to organize it may make her confused & unable to focus. This happens a lot more than ppl think. It just becomes SO much & they feel lost. So, take one little section at a time. Work with her. Help set up a plan for her to get in the habit of keeping it picked up. Reminders that you don’t take out new unless the old is away. Make sure she has a trash can in her room.
It’ll be a process for you both but if you meet her where she’s at & start there, you may be able to really help her work through it.
Or, she’s just that stubborn.
I pray it’s not just being stubborn. Lol
:pray: :green_heart:


My youngest girl 11 is like a teenage boy just filthy :ok_woman:t4: plates cups snacks wrappers clean folded clothes you name in on the floor… So I reduced what’s in the room and set up a time everyday to tidy up before she gets to play Roblox or touch her devices! They love their gadgets take them until she understands the responsibility of keeping a clean organized room. How do they sleep like that :flushed: Id have nightmares every night

My middle child gets overwhelmed and I have to divide her room into sections. If I ask her to just clean it she doesn’t know where to start. Whereas my two others can.


Saw someone dye rice black to make it look like mice poop and then put it the bedroom so it seemed like they had mice living in there

My kids are grown my son was a neat freak , my daughter a hot mess as well , she would clean her room as I was strict but in 2 hours it was a mess . Much like you we never had a messy house I just didn’t get it . Now that she is grown I have figured out she was comfortable with more of a mess just like myself and my son were comfortable with neatness . I look back and see all the negative energy we generated over it . I now think I would give her a bit more wiggle room and just require it to be off the floor and anything dirty such as dishes clothes ect clean and put were they go ,make sure its picked up but still comfortable for her as it was her room . Just saying find a happy medium she might suprise you .
My daughter now has a wife that is OCD and cleans the house and cooks , my daughter works . They make a great team .
Now the rest of the chores must be done top notch.


Close the door so you don’t have to look at it :rofl::woman_shrugging: What always motivates my kids to clean their room is when they have a friend coming over. Was not helpful during the covid shutdown :woozy_face: Luckily they now keep their rooms relatively clean and I keep their doors closed. Its their space. Help her learn how to be organized. The friend thing works though lol

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I started throwing my kids toys away
They can’t pick them up they don’t need them

Lol I don’t know! The struggle is real though isn’t it! My 5 year old got off the school bus today and just decided to book it down the sidewalk. Every time I tried to call him back over to the house he just ran faster in the other direction. So I finally turned back towards the house & said “ fine I’ll just go eat the Popsicles all by myself then!“ he turned around looked at me and said “popsicles?” He ran Straight back into the house. Some may call it bribery but I say, I pick and choose my battles & this one, I chose the easy way out & I have zero shame in that! :rofl::woman_shrugging: