How can I get over my ex when we co parent?

Hunny you’re not co-parenting, you are doing it all PLUS his part of just needing to show up. Good for you for taking baby to meet dad but don’t force dad into babies life,
Speaking as a kid that never knew my dad
It was easier growing up having never met him or talked to him (not ha int my mom push that on him or myself really)
It make it easier to accept, cause I didn’t feel like I was loosing somebody, where as if you push and push for involvement, that he clearly doesn’t care about, you will
End up hurt and so will the baby,

Just move on babe, if he asks about the baby , tell him, but you’re not required to do any extra for the man

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Stop doing for him he is a grown ass person. Don’t Force him or you to make him see the baby. Get a lawyer get full of custody of your son get child support make it right now so he can’t come back and take the baby. Then start yourself a journal and write in it whatever you wanna write about or if you feel like talking to him write a letter to him in the journal not sending it to him. That way you get your feelings out. Wish you the best!!!

Walk away from that situation. It seems as if he is not interested in you or your kids. You the kids deserve much better then this. As a mother your children should be top priority. Therapy is great to help you through the process. He most definitely is not coparenting, he’s being a yo-yo dad, if you can even say that for he never comes around on his own accord.

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Cut contact. Dont update him on the kids. Stop sending messages and photos. He clearly dies not want to be a father. Don’t confuse love with emotional need or a trauma bond. That man does not love you. He just wants to use you for sex when it suits him. Dont ever take him back. You need to teach your son how to treat women right and you cant do that with a man like that in your life. He will never give you stability.

It doesn’t even sound like you are co-parenting. Make sure you have full custody and cut off all ties. That would be best for your kids, I think. It’s not healthy for anyone for him to come and go as he pleases.

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This is not co-parenting. You are a single parent, raising kids on your own. If this man cared about you or your kids, he’d make that known. The faster you accept that, the easier it will be to get over him. Therapy is great for you and your older child to help cope.

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Honey, I am not seeing anything in that saying that you are coparenting. You are a single parent. You are trying to continue a relationship by sharing photos of your son to a man who doesn’t seem to care enough to be a father.
File for full custody or for child support if you want him to partake in your childs upbringing.
Make sure you try to do something for yourself. Even 5 minutes of deep breathing and positive affirmations.
You deserve better.

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This isn’t co-parenting. You are a single parent and it sounds like he doesn’t want to be involved. You need to find a way to move on or get counseling to move on for the sake of your children you are a strong woman you have shown that by taking care of those two children on your own. Maybe stronger than you know. You deserve better. You deserve love to be given back to you and your children. I hope you find that. Be honest with yourself about the situation and face it head on. You deserve the best!

He can’t love you or the kids because he doesn’t love himself. He’s very broken emotionally and isn’t able to be what he should be, what you and your kids need him to be. Stop trying with him. Focus on you and your kids.

Sweetie I’m so sorry your dealing with that. He’s not coparenting. At all. Not a smidge. If you truly want to get over him don’t give him the time of day. Tell him you’re willing to keep a line of communication open for parenting but other than that not to contact you. And stand your ground. He’ll either step up or walk away. If he walks away it’ll be hard, but you or the kids are better off if that’s the case.

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It’s ok to love him that may never change. Be honest with yourself this man brings nothing positive to you or your children then concentrate on loving your self, your life as it is and your children.

Time to move on. The feelings aren’t mutual. It’s all one side and it’s only you hurting. Time to cut ties and focus on you and your children. He has to make the effort to have a relationship with the baby. Phone calls, visits, sending money. I know it hurts but save yourself more heartache . :two_hearts:

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This isn’t coparenting. What I’m hearing is that he doesn’t plan on being involved with your child. It is not your responsibility to try and get him to have a relationship that he doesn’t want whether with you or your child. It will cause more pain and damage.

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Sounds like you dodged a bullet. As much as I can understand wanting to have your family and have him in your life and your kids lives, I’d say cut him off. Make sure you have custody and move on. You sound like you are doing this momma thing on your own and killing it. Definitely too busy for whatever game this man-child is trying to play. You will need to cut contact as much as possible to get over it, don’t text him first unless there is an emergency he NEEDS to know about. Don’t send him pictures or updates, he gave up his right to those when he abandoned his child. Seek therapy if you need it, there is absolutely no shame in getting professional help navigating this.

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Sounds like to me this guy prob has serious issues due to his childhood ( which isn’t his fault ) but … He’s grown now & needs to seek professional help to sort these problems out . Meanwhile you have to do you !! Walk away & move forward for you & your kids . I promise you things will get better & you can rebuild your life with someone new eventually :heavy_heart_exclamation:

Sorry, but this is not co-parenting. You are raising your kids on your own. The feelings are not mutual, it’s all one sided and it’s only hurting you. He seems like he has made his mind up, IF he wanted to be with you in a relationship and be in the kids lives he would be their with all of you. If he wants to see the kids he let him contact you. He has obviously moved on and you need to move on yourself.

That is the farthest thing from co-parenting. He’s a drop in dad when it’s convenient for him. Does he give you consistent and recordable child support? Does he visit them regularly? He lives in another state. How exactly do you co-parent from another state? Ask yourself that.
You aren’t in love with him. You are in love with the idea of having a healthy and together family. Maybe because you feel like that is what he needed to heal from his tragedies in life. You felt like you could complete him or fix him with your love. But that’s not how that works. He has to fix himself. And maybe his version of fixing himself doesn’t include you or his son. Maybe he’ll realize how much his son means to him some day. Hopefully.
But you need to heal you, for you and your children. You are their sole provider. As hard as it is it is time to move on and focus on yourself and your kids.

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No many things wrong with this story just sad I think you need to get into some therapy to help you make better life choices And your 5 year old should see some one You have a big mess here lots of which you made with bad choices

This is not co-parenting. Co-parenting is when both parents are part of the child’s life. Honey, if he wanted to be there he would be. He is not. Phone calls are not co-parenting. Dose he pay child support? Dose he pay bills or buy things for the child? Dose he go to Dr. Appointments? I am assuming not as he didn’t show up for the child’s birth. Baby girl, you are a single mom. You are doing it alone. He ran out on you and his own child. You move on by actually moving on. He did you dirty!

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If he wants pics and updates and visits with the kid, let him initiate it. Stop bending over backwards for someone who doesn’t care. You need to focus on you and your kids. He’s not going to change because you want him to. He has to want to do it on his own and for himself and for his kid. It’s clear that you’re better off without him. Take some time to figure out who you are and just do what needs to be done for you and the kids.