How can I get over the fact that my husband had an affair?

I and my husband just celebrated our six-year anniversary. Last year around this time, I found out about an affair he was having. He ended up leaving me for her but quickly came back home; he did this three times within a month. The other woman had constantly harassed me while it was all going on. Anyways to make a long story short, this past year he’s done everything to regain my trust and has completely changed, I know he loves me, but I’m not able to let go of what happened. I love him more then I could ever explain but I’m constantly having terrible nightmares, I have severe separation anxiety and I’m obsessed with trying to find out what the other woman is doing or trying to find a way actually to see her in person, you would think after a year I would be able to move a little past at least it. Thanksgiving last year was when they had their first intimate time together, I found out. So now the idea of thanksgiving makes me sick. I’m in therapy, and we also go together, but nothing is helping. I’m constantly lashing out; I’ve started drinking all the time which is something I’ve never done before, I just need to know that there is someone that has made it through this and was able to live normally. Thank you to anyone with advice

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Divorce. They don’t change

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You can’t get over betrayal like that !! Leave the loser , he won’t change !!

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It never leaves your mind,you have to just leave or get over it

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Once a cheater, always a cheater. Divorce the fucker!

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I’ve seen marriages reconcile after affairs. Just because other guys continue to cheat doesn’t mean your man is going to. I would definitely go to therapy to talk this out.

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If you can’t let it go or find some way to heal n move on then you might as well leave your husband. I’m so sorry you’re going through this but what you’re doing to yourself is unhealthy n I can tell by reading this you’re not happy. Life is too short to be unhappy!

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Yeah. That never goes away. After time, some days it’s not in your mind. But anything can trigger it. Obviously thanksgiving is gonna be one of yours. But, the trust is already broken.
Take care of you. There is a better life out there beyond him.

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Divorce. He blew it. You get a fresh start without the constant worry. He can deal with himself. I’m sorry.

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If you want to stay then you’re going to just take it day by day but it sounds like you’re self destructing in the meantime and that’s not healthy either. I honestly think you need to take a break for yourself and him. You may just be dragging out the inevitable and killing yourself in the process.

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The affair was not your fault. Your husband is very selfish and not totally committed to the marriage. You need to make a choice for yourself and the choice should not be self destruction. Stop believing your husband. His actions are a part of who he is. Also, you know what you need to do. Stop right now. Do what’s best for you.

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Done it once he will defo do it again

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Adios to the husband. Not worth your well being.

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Kick him to the curb.He did it to you 3 times. He,ll do it again…

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if you have gone to therapy n thats not helping it means you will never move on from it.

… in my opinion there is no excuse for an affair I give you all the credit in the world by giving him another shot but I have to agree with lots of these ladies wear once a cheater always a cheater you get married for a reason and if your husband chooses to sleep with somebody else then he’s got serious issues and unfortunately you’re not the only one that he’s interested in being with

Save yourself… divorce him and move on. How disrespectful of him to cheat…come back multiple times and allow this woman to harass you. If this is your reality…you are punishing yourself because you feel unworthy…because of his actions.
Take action yourself…for yourself. Get rid of him and move into taking care of yourself. Get some help… but shut his crap off. :heart::heart::heart:

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You have to move on. It’s about you now. Your emotional well being has to be healed. You have to heal. If he’s around after that I doubt very seriously you’ll want him again. Let God heal you❤

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I took care of a lady that had a stroke a few years back. Her and her husband had been married over 50 years. Apparently he had cheated on her a couple years into the marriage and she had reconciled with him. 50 damn years later it was still destroying her on a daily basis; she’d have me chase him down in the garage and have him come back in where she could see him but then she’d obsess to her daughter at night that she didn’t know what we’d done in the garage, stuff like that. Every day. And she was a full on psychiatrist before her stroke. If you can’t move on, you can’t move on.

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Times really does heal all