I need advice from other mothers on going out on a date with your boyfriend/or husband after having a kid. My son is currently four months and my boyfriend, and I haven’t gone out on a date since he’s been born. I don’t trust many people to babysit because he is young, and he’s our first baby. I do want to go out on a date and spend some time alone with my boyfriend, but it’s just hard for me to trust someone to babysit. Our son is also exclusively breastfed, and he hates drinking from the bottle, so I don’t want someone trying to feed him and him just crying his head off and refusing the bottle. I just want some advice on how to get over my fear of leaving him in the hands of someone else or at least be ok for a couple of hours.
I don’t leave my kids with anyone but my husband for the first year. That just is what it is. Do I guess I can’t really help you as far as “getting over it”. I feel like it’s perfectly normal and valid to not want to leave your four month old with a sitter
Do some home made cooking and have a date indoors while baby is sleeping. Or wait until the baby is a bit older and can go longer periods between feeding of they aren’t taking a bottle. It was hard for me to leave my son the first time for a friend’s wedding but only did it for the ceremony…but it was during his nap time so I wasn’t too worried as he liked to cuddle up to his uncle. That’s what my husband and I do. Is wait for baby to be asleep for the night then we have our relaxing/alone time. But I never even thought of leaving my son at 4 months we always brought him with us on our “date” nights.
It’s hard at first all u can do is find a person you trust and maybe go out for an hour and then next time add a half hour and more after that. You could put baby to bed and have a nice dinner and movie at home. I have four kids and always went back to work 6 weeks after they where born but I can understand if your bf
I never left my kids with a babysitter. They are old enough now that I can go out with my husband without one. I would probably worry too much about them being with a babysitter when they were little.
Find soMe one you truly trust parent or good friend and start small.
Lunch and build etc
I would try to get him use to the bottle before leaving him with someone to watch him? unless he’s able to go a few hours in between without needing a bottle.
Have you tried different bottles/nipples. Some are closer to breast nipples then others.
Maybe also instead of leaving for a couple hours for dinner… try leaving him with someone, while you run a quick errand first… And then try and leave him with someone, a little longer while you run a longer errand… And slowly get to the point you’re more comfortable. When my son was an infant, I use to always text my mother in law, checking in on him. I knew he was in good hands, but needed the reassurance. She would send a picture or two while she watched him too.
I have only allowed my parents to watch my babies. But when I was younger I babysat for a family. They had 3 boys the one was 5 months old when I started. She was older and very protective of her children which is totally understandable. She would have me babysit on her date nights. The kids and I would eat whatever she made for the night I would go to their room and watch a movie or play with them. The father would bring home takeout and they would have their date on the deck or wherever in the house they decided. She knew the kids were safe and she was their if I needed something
It’s really important to be able to find someone you trust to be able to get out for a while, good for you, and good for baby to have interaction and ability to build a trusted relationship with someone other than you! I would start with short periods of time-go for coffee, or lunch something like that. You can build up from there once you have the confidence everything is ok for short periods, and you get used to that.
When my son was really little he was only left with my mom and step dad, my aunt and uncle or a close family friend that he calls uncle bill. I wasn’t able to breast feed so that made it easier, but he wasn’t with just anyone just trusted close family/ friends til he was over a yr old
Leave the baby with a family member that you trust or a friend that you really trust
Have the person you feel comfortable with “babysit” while you are home with them. Also, try a bottle with water or baby-safe juice in between feedings to get him used to a bottle. When you feel comfortable with the way that person is handling the baby, then go out for a quick break, then work up to a dinner and movie date.
I only trusted my mom with my son not even my husband’s mom could watch my son. At 4 months he went with us cause he was small and would sleep. But as he got older my mom would watch him for a few hours while we went out.
Do a date with the baby. If you’re not ready. Don’t let anyone force you to do it regardless. Momma knows best.
Honestly, the best way to face your fear is by doing it. I won’t lie, It’s going to hard at first. Do baby steps. Start by maybe just going for a quick bite to eat. Maybe do that once a month for X amount of months. Then go a little longer after a certain amount of time. Maybe you can write down your golds. Good luck mama. You got this.
My parents took my daughter to meet her great grandmother like 2 weeks after she was born and I was a mess. My baby was leaving me and I didn’t go. I could have went but the time I spent with my husband was so needed & I felt so rested when she got home (she was only gone for like an hour ) it was hard watching them pull out of the driveway with her, but honestly it’s never gotten easier LOL my daughter will be 2 next week & I still have a hard time letting her go. I guess my advice is finding someone you REALLLLY trust with him & just try to enjoy the time with your husband while the baby is away.
There is no “getting over it” when you leave your child with someone. I am 38 years old and my mom still calls to check on me, lol. I had to leave my son with a friend when he was 2 weeks old because a co worker of my husband’s had died. It was only for 2 hours but it almost killed me. My husband kept telling me that he’s not gonna be around me forever and asked what am I gonna do when our son starts school. I said homeschool. You’re just being a mom and worrying about your baby. It shows how much you love your baby.
It never gets easy. But I would definitely make sure baby is comfortable with taking the bottle before you decide to officially do it. To be honest my husband and I didn’t go on our date until our daughter was well over a year just because she was a premie and we always saw her as fragile
- Find someone you trust
- Its only a couple of hours
- Plan your outing for when the baby is asleep
- Text, call, tell the sitter that a relative may or may not be stopping by for a moment
- If totally freaked out get a nanny cam
You don’t “get over it.” As a mother you will always want to protect your baby, it’s hard to know who u can trust, especially if you have no family to watch them for you. Don’t just do it. I did that when my son was about 5 months and I couldn’t even enjoy our date. I had so much anxiety and worry and rushed things along so I could get back to him. It wasn’t a nice, lovely date with my bf lol. The baby WAS with someone I trusted even… just wait until you feel more ready…