Fan question: how did you ladies get the courage enough to leave a man? I have three kids, age five and under. Believe me, I tried, and people will say when its done. Duh, I know, but I have ZERO support. I mean none. I have a mom and sister who lives together. She never freaks in the left home. I have kicked out my mom at age 18 on my birthday. Every time i try to rely on her, she tells my kids awful things and makes them feel bad. They don’t have a dad around. He is not an awful dad, just a terrible husband. And please don’t say she is protecting me…she is schizophrenic, and I am flat out terrified of my kids being with her as I’m working. Baby sitter? Sure…if I can ever find one I trust… I have PTSD from rapes from my own babysitter…omg how will I ever do this? My sister is a parrot of my mom. What do I do? I work only, my son is disabled and god what people do to disabled children…i can’t even bear the thought. Help…
I know you aren’t going to like my answer but here goes…You answered your question with your first sentence. “I have three kids, aged five and under”
This makes no sense
It’s asking about leaving a man but it’s all about her mom
Sounds like dad should have custody (“he’s not an awful dad”) until you have your life together and get visitation leading to 50/50 shared custody.
You will only leave when the fear of staying overcomes the fear of leaving.
Hugs love and prayers.
Go to a shelter. They have resources for mother’s with children. Even housing opportunities.
Also ask for some serious therapy.
Well I left my dv 10 years together and 2 Years free I don’t have any support not one family member I have 2 Friends and they were my only support I got a housing house and left me and my 5 kids and one has sevare specal needs I do everything on my own so can anyone else the day I left him I went to court and put at court order in place full order no nothing at all for 2 years if I can do it so can anyone
You start by getting your education. Do it online if you dont have childcare. Education is a must!!
I would start with a woman and children’s shelter, they can provide resources and help best they can.
Alternatively, you could do something a bit twisted, and meet a decent guy online and convince him to “save” you. Then you could stay with him while you figure things out. I only suggest that because sometimes the only way out is to be a little awful. For a long time, women couldn’t find decent work so leaving a man was nearly impossible. They did things like turn to prostitution, sold their hair and teeth, etc. Don’t go that far, but you might have to play it rough.
Or, find a job, and instead of a babysitting put your kids in an accredited daycare, your special needs son in a daycare specializing in what he needs. It will be hard work and a slow process, but many people do it.
I wish this story made sense
She never freaks in the left home
What does that mean? I am confused by this whole post but especially that part
If you’re that paranoid then go to a 5 star daycare and discuss your needs. Only person you will always have is yourself, that’s life, create a plan & stick to it.
Are they his children too? If so, you both should be figuring out what to do with the children or you should be receiving financial support. Many States have 50/50 parenting plans.
If he’s not a terrible father, share custody and get yourself dealt with. Divorce doesn’t mean your kids don’t still have two parents that can care for them.
Find a place to go, find a licensed daycare, make sure you have enough cash etc, and leave
I guess I get the gist of this post, but I am so confused.
What? I want to help but this makes zero sense
My suggestion is to further your education, which you can do online. You would probably qualify for scholarships. Find something that would take a year or less to learn. This will give you opportunities to make better wages, build your confidence and self-esteem. This will also make you independent so you won’t have to ask family to help. If you have to leave, then call social services in your area for help. They generally have a wealth of resources to help. If people you ask for help are vague or answer your need for help with stupid responses, move on. Don’t waste time by surrounding yourself with people that lack compassion to point you in the right direction
I had a fair share of various traumas as a child and had no support, financially or otherwise. But, I made it through and can pass the advise on. Good luck.
You said hes a good dad ok . Take advantage and go to school. . But honestly the needs of my kids come before me… so go to school. Have him as a babysitter
You can always go into a family shelter after some.time they will help you get housing or section 8