Please post anonymously Mama’s I need help! Sorry if this is TMI, but I can’t get answers without details. So my oldest is almost 10. He is in full-blown puberty mode, and oh. My. God. We had to stand in the cold in front of the school for 15 minutes before going in because, as my husband says, ‘he’s standing full staff,’ these random erections are really starting to become noticeable and Idk how to help him hide it. He has pubic hair, smells like an old taco half of the time seriously body odor of a man. He’s almost as big as I am. And the mood swings omg the mood swings. He’s always been a Mama’s boy, always helped me out. Now all of a sudden, he wants to be in his room playing the Xbox all the time, gets annoyed pretty much anytime I talk, and irritates very easily. Then out of the blue he will be sweet, he made me dinner the other night and said it was for all that I do for him, yet this morning all I could get out of him was an eye roll. He has Asperger’s and sensory processing disorder, and we keep having the puberty talks with him, but I feel like deep down, it’s affecting him more than he lets on. He’s a very emotional kid, and we have always been so close. I hate ,this feeling, I want him to be able to be independent, but is this the route to that? Does he have to go through these mood swings to get there? It seems the more I try to help, the more he doesn’t want anything to do with me. I know I probably sound overbearing, but up until this last year, he’s worn leg braces, couldn’t tie shoes, was afraid to be anywhere without me…it’s just a big change all of a sudden. How can I help him? Also, acne is becoming an issue. He’s starting to get patches of it on his face and shoulders no matter how much he bathes and washes his face. Our second child is a girl who is almost two and is going through this clingy stage all of a sudden; I m scares that maybe it’s because I’m paying so much attention to her with potty training and teaches her to be independent, that he is becoming distant. I always try to include him in even teaching our toddler. But I’m hoping this is really just a normal part of puberty for boys. Any suggestions would be great!
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I pray for you and your boy!
Just be honest with him about personal hygiene. Buy him deoderants snd body washes and have dad talk yo hom about dtanding tall and how to think of otjer things to help relieve the standing tall and if he gets too bad talk to your pedoatrician about how to help.
My husband says tuck the bones up into the waist band I have no clue also showers every night and lots of deodorant
Lose shorts especially in the grind area will help it be less noticeable. Get him to carry a messenger bag or a book so if it erection does happen he can easily move something to block peoples view till he gets to a toilet and waits for it to pass.
Dont worry. Just be there for him. Let dad have those talks with him but let him know ur there and he can also talk to you.
Think back to when you when through puberty. Were you really all lovey dovey and wanting to be around ur parents? I know I wasnt. I had an attitude from hell majority of the time. I didnt wanna hangout with my mom. I wanted to be alone.
His body is changing, and with him having aspergers as you said. It’s probably a little more stressful to him.
Have dad take him to get deodorant and shower supplies.
And for the erections… tuck into the waste band or he is gunna have to learn to adjust it in his boxers.
All normal he will get through this they all do. Deodorant, foot powder, good body wash, boxer briefs, loose pants and long loose shirts
thats all normal, have dad talk with him about what to do in certain situations (like hygiene and what to do when he needs to hide himself) for his acne take him to a dermatologist and they can help him with that. as for the mood swings he’s gonna have them, just know when to pick your battles.
Books! As great as open communication is, sometimes kids need to see it all in black and white! Most kids have an automatic attitude of ‘you’re just mum/dad and know nothing!’ So giving them a range of helpful books takes that away and if you say, feel free to ask about anything you don’t quite understand, you’re showing that you’re still willing to talk about it and just giving them access to more info! It also helps prevent them doing their own research online and getting bad info or on to some dodgy sites!
Your husband needs to talk to him because for one, you cant help with the erections Hed probably feel less embarassed talking to his dad.
Mitcham deodorant works the best. Witch hazel for face cleaning, lots of water and just overall better hygine.(Mom of 3 teenagers).
acne wash in the morning and night… grown man deodorant (non of that starter/training because it does nothing to help)and multiple applications if needed… showers every single day… and dad needs to handle the other “guy stuff”
Our 10 year old is on the spectrum & same! If dad can talk to him about the extra blood flowing down there, and how it gets hard when you have to pee… ugh, I know AWKWARD…
I think it makes him a little nervous with me in the room on certain things, but dad just tells it how it is. We’re not explaining sex yet, just the body is changing. He’s started wearing deodorant too & we go through the hygiene checklist every day. Talk to your BSC if you have one. Ours put together some cute stories about hygiene & things to make it understandable. We’ve explained how it’s important to put your best face forward each and every day.
Mom you need to step back and let dad take over puberty discussions, remember when you will starting puberty, did you talk to your dad about your period? Probably not. All you can do is let your son know his body is changing, and although you understand what is happening he can talk to you and his dad about anything.
Very normal, including the mood swings.
Dad should be talking to him about alot if this. From my own experience with my kids. They much prefer talk about this stuff with the parent that’s the same sex as they are.
Also he’s at the age were hes wanting to be more independent. I know it’s hard but maybe give him the space he needs and he may want to come to you when he needs it
Kids on the spectrum are a whole nother world. Each kid Is unique and nothing works across the board. The only advice I can give you is patience lots of patience. My son is 18 and I’m still in charge of that area of his care.
Yikes. I have to look forward to this in a few years stay strong mama
You definitely are not the right person to be talking to him about this stuff. Time for dad to step in, cause did you wanna talk to your dad about all of your girl changes? No? Then it’s time to pass the wheel to dad, cause this is man stuff you cannot help with.
Not sure about everything else as my son isn’t in that stage yet. As for the acne Differin Gel is the BEST! You can buy it at any store, just use a little dime size once a day. I suffered acne so bad and tried everything you can imagine. I found Differin a couple years ago and my face is finally clear and for the first time in many years I feel comfortable leaving the house with no makeup on.