How can I help my 13-month-old be more independent?

I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with my 3rd and last child. I have a 7 year old who helps me amazingly and a 13 month old that is EXTREMELY co dependent on me. I need some advice on how to break her of this. She cries all the time! If you sit her down she cries. If you give her toys she doesnt wanna play with them. She doesn’t watch tv at all. If I walk more than a foot away from her she screams. If someone other than me (husband, older daughter) feeds her she pitches a fit. I can’t put her down to go pee without a tantrum. I am a stay at home mom but with me about to have another I’m exhausted and extremely worried about how shes gonna handle this. Anyone got any tips for me?

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Just put her down. She won’t die as long as you put her in a safe place. Try changing the routine and having others help out with her as much as possible. Every time she cries and you pick her up she learns that crying gets her what she wants.

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This is called, “too much mother.” :roll_eyes:

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Good luck. My daughter is 2.5 years old and STILL acts like this and always has. :woman_shrugging:

Let her cry. At 13 months she can do certain things herself like playing. If you continue to baby her every tantrum, she will continue doing it because she knows she can get away with it. Long as you balancing your time with the kids, she’s fed and bathed…she can learn to play alone for a bit. If she has favorite toys, songs, books, set them in front of her. Daycare for a bit might work as well or head start, play dates.

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It’s ok to put her down and not feel guilty.

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Maybe pre school, headstart, or daycare a few days a week

Enjoy her while she’s little she senses things are changing hold her a little longer read her another story spend as much time as u can before the other comes then ask her to help you be “mommy” get her a baby doll to feed while you feed the new one they are only little for so long one day they won’t want you try to take some time for yourself when she’s napping

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Leave her at the YMCA childcare for an hour or 2 a day. Letting her be with other people will help her adjust to someone care for more than 1 child at a time. At 13 months that’s just how children are but letting her be around other people will help you get her to be more independent

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She needs to be socialized with other kids.

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Let her cry? She’ll be alright

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She’s only 13 months. She’s still young and in the needy phase. Give it time.

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Why would you want a thirteen month old to be independent ?

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She’s a baby, your her safe place.

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Thats what happens when you have children close together. Shes only 1 years old. 13 months isnt going to make her sound older. You’re going to have to work around that and let her go her speed to getting more independent OVER TIME. Not in a couple months. Not to sound harsh… but you should have thought it through better.

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For anyone trying to be judgmental, STOP!!! She’s about to give birth to her next baby. I’m sure she’s stressed beyond imagination!!!

Anyway my advice is to try and get her into daycare. If you can’t afford it a few days a week my honest opinion would be to just put her in her crib and let her cry it out a few days. As much as it kills you it’s for her future… if that doesn’t work maybe take her to see a physician and have her checked. You got this mama stay strong!!!

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Shes litterly a baby still. 13 months she’s a baby She needs you still and taught things ur mom. Ur her comfort. my 26 month old “2” needs me for everything still. People erk my soul.

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My youngest was like this… He had to be attached to me whenever around me. Even crowling in bed with me. Until I got with my husband andhe started staying over( months and months after being together) and my husband got him to sleep on his own bed, after fighting him all night n him pretending to be asleep for 5 hours til my husband fell asleep(he was 2!) He finally got him to sleep on his own but his bed had to be close to mine. He was eventually able to be independent and not all up on me. But not until he was 3. He’s 8 now and still a mama’s boy. Get her a doll. Make her comfortable with beinf a big sister. If I could have more kids in sure my youngest wouldn’t have been okay with it. But as crazy as it drove me, I miss it.

She relies on you for everything. She cant cook you breakfest. You chose this situation. Not to be harsh.

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I have a 13 month old and she started child care at 3 months old so I could work. I do work there so I see her often but we we aren’t together 247. She has adjusted so well with everyone around her who it gives me a little break when she wants to go to one of my coworkers while I get her things together to go home. Try childcare a few hours a day to get her use to being away from you. That isn’t healthy for you at all.