I left the father of my child, who is 2. He is a good dad, doesn’t treat our child bad, just doesn’t want to let go of some stuff that needs to be let go of when you become a parent. Were just not able to make things work because neither of us wants to change the things about ourselves that the other wants to be changed. Tonight is the first night. He has only ever stayed at dad’s mother’s house overnight once a week for the first nine months of his life as we cut ties due to her being toxic. Other than that, he has never been away from our home for bedtime, never stayed anywhere overnight, and we’ve lived in the same place since before he was born, so he’s very, very new to change. His daddy called him on all his breaks at work today to keep to his schedule as much as possible since that’s something that’s done daily. Were in a home he is used to visiting, so it’s not super unfamiliar to him. But once bedtime came he did a complete 180, he grabbed his shoes and kept going to the door. His daddy called him to tell him goodnight and to try and help calm him. He finally gave in after about 3 hours of fighting it. What can I possibly do to help him be a little more comfortable other than wait it out? Dad is going to see him on his days off or days he goes into work later afternoons. I’m at a complete loss as to what to do to help my little guy cope with this major change beings he’s never really had any change in his life so far…
You have to just give him time.
If you have a bedtime routine I would say stick to that! So for us its take a bath, have a little tea and read some books and we have never had a problem getting our dude to sleep pretty much anywhere! But it every little one is different. I hope it passes quickly! Good luck!
I have 3 year old twins that just went through a change simliar to this. TALK to him momma. Even if you don’t think he can understand you. He CAN. He feels your empathy while talking to him. Give him lots of love and reassurance that EVERYTHING will be okay. He will get better in his own time.
That’s very tough to deal with, I went through this about two years ago with a 2 and 4 year old. I would lay with them till they fell asleep which helped them adjust.
Talk to him. I just went thru the same exact thing 4 months ago. 3 boys, age 5,3, and 1. My two oldest didn’t understand why we wouldn’t sleep at daddy’s anymore. So I was honest. Told him mommy and daddy live in different houses. And daddy has a new job and so does mommy, and now they will have new friends and new house and new school, and it’s exciting. My oldest was ok until he wouldn’t get his way, sometimes he would scream at me saying this house is fake and he wants to go back to daddy’s house. And this wasn’t his house. I started being honest and made sure he understood that we don’t have that life anymore. We lived in the same apartment for since he was 7 months old. And my other two only knew that place. We moved in with my sister, so it wasn’t a total unfamiliar place, but we would only come visit her for a couple days. Maybe a weekend. After a week they started asking questions. At least daddy calls them to somewhat keep the routines they had. Their dad barely calls not even on work breaks. It’s a hard change and trust me it’s hard breaking. But it’ll get easier. WITH TIME. If you need anything don’t be afraid to message me or add me for help or just to vent. I could use someone too. Good luck mama
Me and my husband split for about 4 months when my daughter was this age. It was extremely difficult. She cried alot the first two weeks and would wake and ask for him. The best thing for us was routine whatever bedtime and bath rituals or book reading etc keep it the same !
It sucks and it’s going to be rough. Just try to keep his routine the same as much as possible. He will eventually get used to the changes and not fight you so badly. Hes just trying to figure out the differences of what’s going on.
Be there like you are try to keep what you can still the same routine. It’s going to be hard on him and you. You will get threw this. Keep doing the amazing job you are.
I left the POS I was married to when my kids were 1 & 3, they never seemed to missed him, He would see then when he had the chance or whenever !!! But it wasn’t a big deal at their age. And they never asked where daddy was. I think it’s better at a earlier age than when they are a little older. Just don’t say anything unless he does
Be patient. It takes a lot for kids to adjust. Keep up a routine. Rub his back ans talk to him. Calm and reassurance. He is probably really confused right now.
Keep the same bedtime routine you always had and just give it time
We travel alot so my 22 month old has slept at alot of resorts in new beds new rooms but as long as we take a bath,read a book and give him his blanket hes fine
It takes time. Make a strong fun bedtime routine, stick to it. If u already had one, do not change it. Talk to him…listen to him. It will get easier…it just takes time. You got this
Go home. Get counseling. You both need to put your child’s happiness before your own. Unless there is abuse, cheating or drugs involved. It is a proven fact that children are more successful and well adjusted if there are 2 parents in the house. Especially boys! I know it doesn’t always work but really try for that little one. Good luck.
It takes time. No magic fix it here love. Just gotta let time heal. You are probably hurting but don’t let him see that. You can make it a grand adventure! That’s what I did with my kid. We were on a big ol adventure to our new life and I tried to make it exciting. Not sure where you’re sleeping but make him a blanket fort to have his own space to be in he can sleep in it if he wants too
I’m glad you guys can work together to make sure your child’s needs are being met, and to try to make things easier. Sometimes people aren’t meant to be together. My 4 year old is currently going through this. He doesn’t want to go with daddy sometimes to the new house because he wants his house. But after awhile and with his dad and i calling each other, he has gotten better. We still have bad nights, but showing you guys can work to make it better will help. They need to know you guys still can be parents, just better when not together. My ex and I get along 1000x’s better now they we aren’t together. We grew apart, we want different things from life, but both love our children dearly. So separating doesn’t make you a bad parent, and you probably feel it when hes up crying at night. But he will get better. If you can make a fun “special” bedtime routine like stated above, and stick to it, it will give him something to look forward to. I also had to give my son melatonin gummies for a bit to help.
Just give him time and consistency is key. Just keep working at it and he’ll eventually get used to it. Honestly it’s refreshing to see a post where a mom doesn’t want to keep their child away from their dad so I just wanted to say good for you guys for working at being great co-parents
I went there that with my oldest. When she was almost two I moved from the only home she remembered where I had roommates to a smaller apartment with just one roommate. (We moved because everybody in the house was just going their separate ways) The first night she cried and kept trying to leave telling me she was going home. I had to put bells on the door so I could hear her when she tried to open the door. I just reassured her she was ok and that we were home. This lasted a week with each tantrum getting shorter and shorter until she just stopped. My son on the other hand was around the same age when I moved out of state to get away from my ex…he never had an issue and just went with the flow from the beginning
If you are your ex are still good. Talking wise and respect wise. What about having your ex come over and help with bedtime? You both also need to explain to your son (at he’s level) that you guys are not together but, you still love him and are going to be around as much as he needs and wants.
You said this is the 1st night? Give it some time. Keep him on or close to his regular schedule. It will take time