How can I help my 3-year-old understand how to share?

How to help my kids share? My stepdaughter (3) will harbor all the toys from my six-month-old. And I tell her we need to share. So she will give him one toy but go and take six and just hold them all. And I tell her that it isn’t fair. I want her to know just because she gave him one doesn’t mean she can be rude and hold six others out of spite, especially when it’s his teething toys. She was cool with sharing with him lol until he started crawling now. She shoves him blocks his way when he doing stuff yells at him snatches things out of his hands. I have explained she has to be easy; he is a baby and doesn’t know any better. That she has to teach him kind of give a job. I still give her time to herself. We read together to go to the park. I’m not sure what to do.

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Daniel Tiger is an excellent resource. There are a few different episodes about sharing.

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Shes only 3 and it’s a big learning curve having to share not only you and her dad but also all her toys… definitely lots of play dates, maybe a box for her toys a box for baby and then a share box to start with… ease her in xx

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Consistency is the key. Just keep working with her. It’s a development phase. Mine knows how to share, but will fight it sometimes because it’s a toddler thing. Just be consistent with it, “if you aren’t playing with it he can” or “we don’t take things, if you want something you ask if you can play with it when they are done or ask if they’d like to trade” praise her for good sharing when she does it.

Also she is probably old enough for “how would you feel if…” But I also agree with a previous poster. If you allow TV Daniel Tiger really is a great resource. It even helped my daughter who is probably too old for it quite a bit when my son was born.

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Daniel tiger! Best sgow ever for kids. Literally

Keep in mind there’s different opinions on sharing. At my daughters daycare, they aren’t required to share- that sounds weird but it’s different than everyone’s regular sharing views. Her opinion is, if a kid has a toy, why are they required to just give it to someone else if they have it right now. Her view on sharing is teaching the other kids to wait their turn until that friend is done. If they want to play with it for 10 minutes or an hour, that’s their choice. Of course, hoarding all the toys is a little different i guess… maybe encourage “you can pick two toys so there’s enough for everyone,” and focus more on how happy she can make someone else by letting them also have toys. My daughter is two and she gets really excited about making others happy, so she usually likes to share a toy or give someone something if she gets a happy response from someone. Example, if someone wants her toy, and she gives it to them, and I praise her about how nice it was.

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Shes 3 why does she need the babies toys she has big kid toys baby has his. When playing together she chooses a toy you choose for baby…

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She’s 3 and is really just learning the concept s of mine, yours and sharing. Be consistent and patient. The baby is only 6 mo. Old. Maybe the concept of being kind rather than sharing is more important at this stage. The baby is clueless.

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I don’t have any kids myself but one that seems to work with my roommates kids who are about the same age as yours (boy is 6 month girl is 3) is she used to tell her daughter that she can play with whatever 1 or 2 toys at a time and then brother gets to play with what he wants and then whenever she wants to play with something else if her brother has it she has to trade him a toy for the toy she wants

Practice sharing between your little one and yourself. She’ll eventually catch on. We’re doing this with our daughter now. She’s almost 2 and she’s learning fast. We just say “share” when playing with others and she does well for the most part for a 21 month old. You got this mama!

Ask her if she wants to pick a special toy or two that she can choose to share or keep all to herself. My stepson was getting upset that all the fleece blankets were up for grabs for tummy time and he didn’t have a blanket that was just his any more. The pouting stopped when i got him one and told him he didn’t have to share it with the baby unless he wanted to.

Start out with only 2 toys and just trade out until sharing is accomplished

Daniel tiger… But also 3 is old enough to understand what it’s like to have things taken away. So take like six of her toys that are totally little girl ones that are just for her that you know she will miss. Gather them all around your 6 month old. When she tries to go get her toy say no no no he’s playing with them right now and then say maybe you can have this one and give her the lesser of them and keep the others around him even if he’s not playing with them she will see that it is hurtful

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A pre school would help her allot with sharing. Have you thought of one in your area? My son was an only child and it helped allot. How often is she there? Hide baby’s toys maybe? Jealous of the baby now since he is crawling. She could be encouraged to entertain him. And maybe rewards for doing that? Maybe get toys just for her age and she might lose interest in baby’s toys? Never went through this and came from a large family but no step kids.

You know, I teach my kids that it’s nice to share. But I also teach them they dont HAVE to unless they want to. Now, if they are not hers I would take the toys and give them to the younger one. Explain what you’re doing and let the meltdown happen. Be consistent and she will realize eventually that she cant be greedy with little siblings toys

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If she’s taking his toys, teething rings. Those are his and she got to respect that. Your not gonna let her take your hair dryer or blender are you? It’s the same thing. She has to respect other people’s stuff. Take it away and redirect her to her things. She’ll cry that’s okay cause she’s gonna be mad till she gets it. And she will you have to let her cry it out :two_hearts:

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Keep doing what your doing. We have our 3yr old grandsongive a toy gently when he takes things from his baby bro. I don’t really tell him as much as I make sure he is watching me and papa give and take ( from each other) in this manner. He is still only a baby himself and will learn by watching others, better than being told how to do something. Be consistent. And patient. It takes time.

See about putting her in preschool

It’s developmentally appropriate behavior. Young kids still see their toys as an actual extension of themselves so it’s actually asking quite a lot. Keep that in mind. Then you add sibling rivalry on top and regression behavior when a sibling is born and the situation is compounded. Just know it’s normal. They do learn to share. It takes time and development. In the meantime practice patience, understanding, and compassion and you will model the qualities for your children which is the best way they learn. P.S a good way to keep an unwanted or negative behavior active in a child is to give it a lot of your attention especial in the moment its happening. Train yourself to catch her doing things you’d like to see and she’ll eventually do more.