How can I help my 4 year old express his anger?

I mean what I do with daughter she is 2 I dont tolerate hitting or lashing out but again she is 2 and not alot I can do but allow to feel the way she dose and listen to her rant it out I’ve learned with kids no you dont give in but you validate there feelings say I’m all ears use words like I’m sorry and I understand I mean get upset to and that’s ok but we need to remember that it’s not moms fault not dads fault ok and if its hitting or whatever tell them that’s ok to be upset and rant but it’s not ok to lash out idk if will help all kids but I know that it has helped for me in the past

Just take time and try to make them understand y u r doing it

My mom always just told my siblings and I “That’s too bad, because I love you.” It didn’t take long for us to stop.

I love the responses here. I think on top of what others have said, I personally would encourage him to voice his opinions rather than to insult. “I’m angry because …” “I dont want to talk…” “I want some time a lone…” because he is still expressing his emotions without saying hurtful stuff. I feel like its a good tool to have to be able to express your emotions without insulting or hurting another person or even able to recognize why you have the feelings you do.

You need to stop ‘brushing’ it off and ask him WHY he feels this way? Once he tells you - then you can work on what he says to improve the situtation.

You might try saying to him when he makes those comments that it hurts your feelings-it may make him think about how others feel , but I do think the second part of your reply is good- letting him know it doesn’t change that he has to do as you say!

I second Jeanie Hilton response. I don’t encourage them saying hurtful things, but I do let them express their emotions. If it goes on for a bit, I’ll send him to his room to express whatever he needs to and about 5 minutes later he comes out and apologizes for him saying hurtful things.

He has to express and process his emotions. Its the only way to learn. As long as violence is not involved its ok. He may need a spot to go to to learn how to cope

With my daughters I tell them it hurt my feelings and it’s not nice to say and it would hurt their feelings if someone said that to them.

Legos… my son was similar; I would try Legos and he would build stuff, beads (pony beads) and plays mind craft.