How can I help my daughter become more independent?

My daughter with be 6 in February. (Which makes it hard to study healthy parenting skills/tricks because I don’t know whether to put 5 years old or 6-year-old. Anywho… my daughter has been increasingly clingy and want me to play with her from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed! No joke. My therapist (who doesn’t deal with children said it’s bad for kids to not play on their own. I try to buy self-independent activities for her, yeah, right… she still wants me to play with her 24/7. I’m at my witts end, and I now get horrible anxiety when she asks to play with me because it’s never-ending or ends up in a temper tantrum or meltdown when I said mommy needs a break, etc. I am a si glen parent. I broke it off with my daughter’s dad when she was about two years old.P.S. I e used the timer I. The kitchen to let her know when mommy’s time is up for playing until the next time we play. I praise her if she plays by herself, and I include her housework also.


Let her cry it out. She’ll get sick of it eventually.

1 Like

Does she have any friends?or do you have friends with kids? Set up some play dates

  1. I would sooner trust a therapist who deals with children
  2. Kids grow up too quick. Soon enough she’ll be a big girl who’s independent enough and you’ll look back and wonder where the times gone.
    Trust your instinct also X

She needs friends and school enjoy it ! She will grow up very fast and you will miss her like crazy


Let her have a tatrum.

she probably has separation anxiety. my kids acted like that when i was a stay at home mom because i was always around. have her see a children’s psychologist. even if it isnt separation anxiety, they can still give you helpful ways to deal with her behavior and they know how to talk to children (well, good ones do) so they can explain the importance of mommy time to her and get her to understand activities she can do by herself.

Your gonna miss that!!


Firstly many children are like this. ( wouldn’t you rather spend all your time with you favourite person)
Secondly. Children love routine.
Make a chart decide what you do at what days and times.
Stick to it. ( be consistent)
So she knows where she’s at.
I think children need to get out in the fresh air and then I think mums( dads) need to go home and enjoy a quite cup of coffee. She can have a snack and drink and maybe this is her tv time?
Maybe she plays on her own whilst you cLear up after meals.
I’ve always felt that during the day my time was for my children. But once they are in bed that was my time.
Good luck

Does she have cousins? I enrolled my daughter in girl scouts at that age. Maybe that’ll help

Keep yourself busy… housework. Reading. Something for You… and tell her No. YOU need
to be assertive. You can give your reasons… and if it ends in a meltdown send her to her room until she is done with her fit. Let her know she can still play but she isn’t going to throw a fit about it. I was like that with my mom. She just had to Stop and say No and mean it.

Make friends with kids of the same age

You should not allow her to use tantrums to get her way. She’ll never grow out of it if you do. Too many parents are too soft on their kids. Your job is to raise a healthy, functioning adult, not an enabled crybaby. How will she function as an adult if she always gets her way as a child? As an adult, we do not always get our way. We have to learn to respect others and compromise. Right now, she isn’t respecting you because you don’t make her respect you. You’re entitled to your time. I’m not advocating to be cruel to your child, but rather to teach her right from wrong. You are the parent. You set the rules and boundaries, and follow through on your expectation that she follow them. Do NOT give in to her tantrums. When she throws her fit, walk away from her and shut the door. Ignore her behavior and let her throw her tantrum alone. Eventually, when she realizes mommy is not catering to her tantrums, she’ll quit having them. I left my 4 year old throwing an on the floor kicking and screaming tantrum in a grocery store. When she realized I walked away from her, she panicked and started following me out of the store. A lot of jerk people judged me that day at the store watching my crying toddler follow me out. Screw them. My kid never threw a fit on me in public again. Stand firm. Don’t allow her to stress you like that. Be the parent.

I’m a mom of an 11, going on 16 year old daughter. The one thing I couldn’t stand is when people told me to enjoy playing and doing this and this and that with her because soon she’ll be all grown up and you won’t have this time with her again. My answer: THANK FUCKING GOD! Don’t get me wrong, I loved and still love playing and doing things with my 11-going-on-16 year old daughter, but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna let her rule the roost and dictate every single second of my day and I certainly didn’t want to play with her for every second of the day. And no, I do not miss it.

You go watch Elsa and play with your barbies by yourself while mommy goes smokes a joint and drinks a bottle of wine. DO NOT DISTURB ME OR CONSEQUENCES WILL FOLLOW. And then you’re still gonna leave me alone while I finish smoking my joint and my bottle of wine out in the garage. You know, like normal moms.

Update: I just re-read this and damn, I sound like a shitty mom. I assure you, I’m not though.

I would say enjoy it my daughter is only 15 months and is super independent sometimes she even hates when I try to play with her, sit down with her and tell her that you need a little bit of time to take care of the house and explain to her why “example, mommy needs to cook dinner other wise we won’t have any food to eat when we get hungry” and set mommy and daughter play time she’s more then old enough to understand and she’s used to getting her own way break the habit and if she has a fit then let her she will learn

If there are no other children around then that’s the reason why you are her only playmate. She’s at an age where she wants to play with someone.


She’s needing that attention, but also, if she’s throwing a tantrum due to you wanting your own time(even if it’s only 20 minutes,)She may have some anxiety or possibly even abandonment issues. Talk with a therapist whom specializes in working with kiddos. It never hurts to ask questions. Good luck! :slightly_smiling_face:

Look into the library for children her age. I know alot of parents that take their children there for playdate

All kids are like this till they’re 9 or 10. Do you have friends who have the same age kids you can make play dates with them, that might help.

1 Like

Give her what she needs. When she feels safe and confident that you’ll be ther for her, she’ll begin to go it alone