I need help! My little girl is five months, and she only wants to be with me. When she was born, my husband had to leave for three months for work. He was still able to see her one weekend a month. He tries to bond with her, and she good for a little bit, but after an hour or so, she just cries because she wants me. I feel so bad for my husband because he wants to be able to rock her to sleep or even be able to feed her. I messed up on not giving her a bottle. Now she won’t grab one or a pacifier. It’s to the point where she needs my nipple to soothe herself. I love my baby girl, but I do sometimes want some me-time what can I do to help her learn to soothe without my nipple? And get her to bond more with her dad? TIA
You gotta get out of the house more. She’ll warm up to him. It only takes time. I started to work and my first was hooked on to me…
The more time they spend together the sooner they’ll be buddies
He has to keep doing what he’s doing
Only time together will help bond. A bath always helps my lo as she loves the water. Daddy and daughter swim classes.
Leave them to it for a bit
Hugs. Maybe start by putting even one ounce into a bottle and work through it yourself until she takes it. If she knows she’ll still get the boob after she may be ok. Hugs. Tummy time is good have her lay on his chest or play bounce on daddy. Something you don’t do that she will be attracted to. Hugs. It’ll be ok
Thats cuz shes comfortable with you…your her security…when hes home let him. Have her all the time and you walk away…yes its hard but if you want her to bond you gotta allow it
Pump some and leave so she has to take bottle. It will be hard but she will bond with dad and learn to trust dad. Make it a short run may to a neighbors . It will be easier if she can’t see or smell you .
It’s probably less that after an hour she wants you and more she’s hungry and you’re her food source. Try doing things as a family. Snuggle with your husband and feed the baby
you need to leave the house or let him figure it out and let him figure it out. the crying is always worse on us but crying is ok
Just keep trying little by little. She’ll warm up.
Best option that worked for my friend was going out even if it’s for an HR and a half 2 hrs once a day without her around her kid had no choice but to learn to trust and bond with the father and once that gets easier extent the time that your out or if you can’t go out find a spot in your home and stay there put some head phones on listen to music or watch tv read with noise going so you can’t hear her upset but it does sometimes make it easier on the other parent to not give in to letting the main parent take back over if they aren’t around
You can wear one of his shirts so it has your scent on it when he wears it, and yes to leaving the house when he has her.
Dont feel bad or that you messed up! Baby will come around to dad, same happened with me except dad was always home! Its natural that baby wants u! My baby came alot more dependent when she started crawling around 6 months, before that she was glued to me! And she warmed up to other people in the house soon after. It just takes time, and my one year old refuses a bottle since she was little, i still breastfeed. Thats a challenge u will have to face later down the road but you have done nothing wrong! Snd i feel like my baby was able to make a bond with people when they held her when she cried, not just came to me when she was crying. Have dad comfort her when she cries! Good luck!
It takes time. My 2 year old’s dad is a stay at home dad, and she clings to me for some reason still. I know it really hurts his feelings, because he used to rock her to sleep and rub on her arm for hours at a time until she went to sleep, but it could just be a phase. Your child clings to you because she sees you at the constant and knows you’ll always be there versus dad who was only home one weekend out the month
She’s so little, it’ll definitely get better. Just keep introducing the bottle and he’ll be able to feed her. It’ll take time. She definitely will use you for comfort as well as food. He could also try skin to skin. Good luck mama.
My husband used to take the 2am-ish feeding so he could get that experience too. I’d pump before bed and he’d use that milk. Trying a bottle until it works might help. I had to have other people offer it when I wasn’t around at all. I had to have surgery when mine was 3 months and it took a few days of trying but he eventually took it.
Don’t give up. They will find their special groove and it’ll work out. I love that you’re trying so hard to help them bond. Good luck!
My youngest is almost 12. The first 2 years of her life she didn’t want anything to do with her daddy. It was all about mommy. Now! Hahah I’m a blimp on the radar. She is such a daddy’s girl. Give it time and lots of patience.
It’s the opposite for me I’m always the one feeling “left” out…after I gave birth I was sooooo sick I couldn’t even hold my baby his dad had to take care of him rock him to sleep feed him etc etc my boy is now 9 and they have the strongest bond…so maybe there’s something to starting it right away🤷🏻♀️
When my son was a baby more times than not he wanted his dad and nothing to do with me. I felt like I was failing because I literally carried him for 10 months and birthed him and I wasn’t his comfort place. He just turned 3 a few days ago and it took about a year honestly for him to want me more than daddy. And I was a stay at home mom for a year and half! As she grows and learns she will grow out of it!!
Sometimes it’s better to let them learn to self soothe, even if that means letting them cry with you there to comfort them without doing what they are used to
Have dad take off his shirt… drap a shirt you have worn at least a couple of hours around his neck … after you have fed her let dad burp and rock her to sleep… in about a week she will get used to the feel of his body and touch while haveing the comfort of mamas odor to her… she will adapt fairly quickly and he will learn how firm or gentle she likes burped or how fast to rock!! Dont give up … consistancy is the key…eventually ad the bottle with mothers milk