My grandson, who is four and a half we have custody of him, but he has been seeing his mom and staying with us every now and then to get him used to her. But he is very hyper all the time, and we have tried everything to calm him down I get it he’s four and a boy and will go crazy, But he gets an attitude when told to relax and calm down and starts throwing things hitting kicking and punching He is all together with a good kid But he has his tantrum moments What can we do when he is throwing those fits and try to get him to calm down.
Sometimes artificial color in food has that effect, especially red dyes. Try a cleaner diet to see if that might help some
Put him in a quiet place with nothing around him. At my kids preschool they called it the calm down square. Also keeping with a routine helps a lot with kids like this. A change in routine can make their little brains bounce
Speak with his pediatrician. He may need counseling, it sounds like he’s had some traumatic events.
It’s probably the trauma of the custody situation. Kid’s dont come out and say what’s wrong with them emotionally (much like a lot of adults) so they act out instead. I second therapy!
If you are using those specific words each time, try something different. “Relax” and “calm down” probably equals “sit and stop playing” to him. Or ask for a hug to where he has to slow down and focus on you. Then chat with him calmly a little. At least that is the way we get our daughter to calm down with the least dramatics.
Try a weighted blanket or weighted stuff animal
My son seemed to go thru a phase like that (he just turned 5) we still have our days but distraction seems to work good with him…puzzles…painting…play doh…and sometimes just ignoring the behavior and not getting into a power struggle helps also. We actually took him for a consultation with a psychiatrist and they recommended play therapy but that was beginning of March just before all the covid got started…now he seems to have gotten back to some type of normal but we still have our moments
Bust his ass. And if the mother is toxic keep her away.
A friend of mine used yoga with her son. 3 times a day, morning before school, when he got home from school and before bed. She said it worked great. Slow movements and a focus on breathing.
Distraction!! Talk to him about something else to get his mind off of what he’s upset about. I also would suggest maybe a melatonin chewable for bedtime, (with drs approval, of course) IF he’s having trouble calming down… ik my kids did and it did help- good luck!
Try music, calming music with headphones.
Maybe he dosnt want to go with his mom?
I would start looking for a play therapist that specializes in early trauma
Put him the corner. So he knows their is conquinces for his actions. Need to start now.
Get a trampoline. Sometimes they need just a need a way to get the energy off in a safe environment.
Seems like he is acting out , seeing his mom could be triggering it and he cant communicate what he is feeling . You can look into a behavioral therapist to help .
Behavioral therapy helped my son world’s at that age. He used to not speak and would just go into nothing but pure meltdowns constantly. He would get so upset he would start trying to bash his head into things and just scream and run around into circles and it got to the point I couldn’t even take him out in public. The behavior specialist came into our home 3 times a week and it changed our life!! It sounds like he’s struggling with the mom coming in his life, and giving him that little boost of help will be so relieving because they teach you a lot of different ways to handle the circumstances. My son is now 13 and incredibly well behaved and still uses the techniques learned in behavioral therapy almost every day
Read the whole brained child. It’s amazing, helped us a lot
He’s trying to tell you something isn’t right. You didn’t indicate the reason you have custody. If it was drugs, alcohol or another toxic lifestyle do some investigating to see if she’s still involved with it. Otherwise maybe it’s routine or rule change. Can you sit with mom & make sure you’re all on the same page? Getting him in counseling could help too. I wouldn’t punish him. Behavior changes is a tell tale sign of something being wrong. Punishing him would be telling him his feeling, suffering doesn’t matter to you.