Please post anonymously. Trigger alerts loss and stillbirth. How can I help SIL through a loss? My BIL and SIL were expecting a daughter due next week but suffered a heartbreaking loss this morning. They have three other girls (9,4, and almost 2) and live nearby, though we are not necessarily all that close. (Background, BIL lost a son at 2mo eleven years ago, before he met his wife, and they lost a previous pregnancy in the second trimester) They’ve asked for privacy, and I will respect that, but I want so much to help them if I can. She has family locally taking care of the girls, and I don’t want to make my offer of help to be one more thing they have to handle right now. What are some specific things that I can offer to do to ease their burden while they grieve?
Can you drop off a casserole for them? Food is the hardest thing to think about when going through hell. If they have a porch, text them and let them know you left it there that way they don’t have to interact if they don’t want to. My heart goes out to them and bless you for wanting to help.
Give them space to grieve the loss of a baby. In time they will reach out to you. Just be patient.
Speaking from experience the loss of a baby . Keep them in your prayers
Send food, flowers, a nice card.
I cooked a few meals for my SIL when she lost her baby. So that it was one less thing she had to worry about doing for her family.
Food/drinks and if it’s possible if they still need someone to watch their other 3 children for a few days offer that, maybe offer to clean their home, do laundry, little things like that around the house that still need to be done
I would agree with the food, with little ones at home the last thing you want to do is cook for them but you worry about them eating
Food is always good, especially something freezable. Just let them know you’re there, whatever they need.
Cook a meal and drop it on the porch as to not infringe on their requested privacy
Send food as often as possible
Definitely food. I wouldn’t send flowers or a card. I know after my mom died, I hated seeing flowers and a card attached to them because it triggered me crying. It was like a sign that she wasn’t coming back
Gift cards for takeout
I’d stick with cooking a meal for them, give them time to process & grieve. There’s a lot of sadness in this post, a lot of things to handle. Give them time.
I had a miscarriage and d&c in 2016. I at the time had a 3 year old. My friends sent small happies for him to keep him entertained and a TON of snacks/quick foods that stocked me up for a couple weeks. It helped me so much! Please remember the other kids too bc the older ones will know and be sad as well.
I would give them privacy for a while before reaching out. They are probably overwhelmed with people reaching out to offer help. When they have had some time to process and had some privacy, prep some meals for them and take them over so dinners are easy. Maybe offer to clean their house because that won’t be at the forefront of their minds during this time. Even things like offering to run errands such as grocery shopping can help.
First I would let them grief in private at the moment bf reaching out but if u want to do something to help them, cook a meal or dinner for them through the week and let them know ur sorry for their loss, if there’s something anything u can do for them, let u know
When I lost my son last year I wanted to be left alone. People brought over tons of food that didn’t get eaten because none of us (my other 2 kids and me) could eat. We finally ate some sandwiches after 4-5 days. Give them privacy. When your SIL is ready to talk just listen. Don’t offer advice or make any comments. People don’t realize that losing a child is life altering and then say the dumbest shit. After a couple of weeks reach out if you haven’t heard from them but again, just listen.
Offer to babysit when they need it
Drop off food on their porch and text them it’s there
Drop off food. When my son was stillborn I didn’t want to do anything let alone cook. That would be the biggest blessing. And knowing they have someone who is there for them