I have a three year old and a 2-year-old. Their father kidnapped and withheld them from me for five months. In our emergency custody hearing, I was given sole custody, pending the final hearing in May. I got my babies back the day following the trial. I was wondering what ideas you guys might have to help with their separation anxiety. I have already scheduled a family therapy session this coming week for the babies and me with my therapist. She also sees children in her office, so she was a perfect fit for us. I am also using a baby monitor system that allows me to talk to the children when I have to be in the other room. I am taking leave from work, so I don’t have to leave them right away, not till December. But they are already super clingy and nervous every time I leave the room. I can’t even use the bathroom without them. I’m not complaining because, honestly, I don’t wanna leave them for a second, either. But I also know it’s not healthy and I don’t know how else to handle the situation in a positive manner. I already explain every time I have to leave the room, like “it’s nap time, so you guys lay down, and mommy is gonna go downstairs and wash the dishes,” etc. It helps a little, and even over the last three days, I can see a huge difference in the kids. I could just really use any help and suggestions you guys might have. Thanks so much!
Maybe a build a bear with your voice set inside saying “your special to mommy” or “mommy loves you”
Those are just exaples of what my kids love to hear from me.
But your voice is number one on what kids look for when they can’t see you.
Just a thought 🤷
I hope everything gets better for you
Weighted blankets may help too. I’m so sorry that happened to you but glad you got them back
Give them time to adjust. It will get better with time. Keep doing what you are doing for them.
Damn… I thought a week was bad when that happened to me with my daughter when she was 3 weeks old, but I couldn’t imagine the torture you went through. My daughter forgot who I was and she’s still super clingy to me 18 months later. I’m so sorry, my heart goes out to yall. I don’t have advice for you, I just wanted to say stay strong.
My son has a teddy bear that I sleep with so it has my smell on it. He hugs it to get to sleep. They could be scared that they could be taken away from you so they are trying to stay as close as they can. Reassure them that you are not going anywhere ever again, lots of hugs and kisses. I use to have to sit in my sons room till he went to sleep. I started slowly moving further and further away (I would move every second night) till I could eventually just put him in he’s cot and walk away.
Keep doing what you’re doing and allow time to do the rest.
Tell them everyday and night that no matter what you will always come back for them. Play games like peek a boo and say see I will always find you. Keep letting them know where you are going when you will be back. Time consistency will help along with lots of love. Good luck and God bless.
Necklace with yaks pic in it…call it a magical necklace
Are you in the home they were taken from ? If so, taking them out of the environment on outings, to Gma’s or just for a long walk would help.
I have no help for you, I’m just so sorry this happened to you & your kids.
I think you are going in the right direction on your own but this is something to bring up with the therapist as well to see if she has other suggestions to help
Time, counseling and reassuring them you aren’t going anywhere just as you are doing. I am sure there are times you should take small breaks and leave them with a trusted family member. You need some mommy time too. Prayers that it all comes together for you soon.
Maybe try setting an alarm for like 5 minutes, go to another room and come back as soon as the alarm goes off. Keep slowly increasing the time, and space. Maybe towards the time you’ll return to work, start to bring the sitter in or go to the day care they will be going to. Just let them know about the alarm and that you are building trust that you will return when the alarm goes off. Once they are more confident in your return, start weaning them off by setting the alarm every other day, then every third day, etc. I’ve never done this, so I can’t guarantee it will work, but it may be worth a shot.
It will take time but they’ll be fine. My ex kidnapped mine 38 years ago but mine we’re only gone a month. It took them awhile and they were ok. The stories they tell to this day but they’re great ladies in their 40’s now
Kids are resiliant and bounce back in no time just be patient with them.
I was in a simalar situation. My 24 days with out my babies seem like nothong compared to 5 months😥 im so sorry you had endure all of this. My daughter is 3.5 she is in school for 3 hours a day. The first couple weeks was rough. I have to work 2 jobs now. but she enjoys going to grandma’s. She use to wait for me to come but now shes usually asleep. Its amazing how resilient kids really are. But even 6 months later we have are days where she wont even let me take out the trash.
Just keep doing what you are already doing and be patient with them when it doesn’t always work. With time and the therapy they will grow past this once they have stability again and they learn they can trust again.
Keep doing what you are and try to give them time. I’m terribly sorry for what you’ve endured but so glad they’re home safe with you again. God bless
Takes time for them to adjust - they will relax some over the next few weeks once they realize you’re not going anywhere