How can I help my son not feel left out?

We moved to a new town at the beginning of the school year to be closer to my husband’s job. We didn’t know anymore before moving here. School seems to be going fine for my oldest, and he says he’s friends with most of his class, but he’s being left out outside of school like birthday parties, and it’s starting to hurt his feelings. He had a birthday party pretty early on, and we invited all the boys in his class, on the invite, I put my number with the hope that maybe other parents would utilize it. Many boys came, only one parent texted me, so I don’t have barely any numbers to set up anything. He’s signed up and goes to all the after school programs offered, and has gone out for every sport except one because he really does not like it and I’m not going to make him. I guess I have a couple of questions. Is there anything more I could be doing? I don’t want to seem pushy; I know I can’t make people involve him. And how can I make him feel better and not left out? Thank you.


Find out what he likes, if not sports then drama/theatre, band… etc. There a boys and girls club after school? Depending on age it can be tough especially middle school. Try the local community center too. Some have like teen force programs to meet kids from other schools too.


I would go to a PTA meeting and meet the other parents face to face.


He will meet other kids and find new friends kids need to learn to play by them selves and entertain them selves let him be👍


Your local library may have an active children and teen area. Also if you have a YMCA, checking out what they offer is a great way to connect with families. Call the school, sometimes the teacher or principal can assist.

Have him invite a few guys over to play games or whatever boys do. Don’t wait for an invite. Be the invitee.


What about in school programs? We moved states when one kid was going into freshman year and one was going into 5th. They both joined the band program. Both made friends easily there and are now best friends with some of those kids for more than 6 years. My husband and I both got involved in the band program as well, as volunteers. This allowed us to invite other parents into the ‘mix’ and additionally show support for their kiddos as well as the rest of the band. I can say that the band is one big family. We get together quite often, just because.

How old is your son?

Help him take the initiative. He can always ask someone to come over. Works both ways.

Do you speak to parents at the school run…? Have a chat with them. And see f you can work out who is who or even ask who there child is

SPORTS PROGRAMS…always a way for kids to bond with classmates. It’s hard to break into groups when you’re new…give it time he’ll be one of the gang in no time. Next birthday plan a paintball party or lazer tag party …something they like to do in that age group. Just explain it takes time for others to get to know him. If he’s really smart he can offer tutoring for other students also. See what the school offers and if nothing he likes, community center or other groups in town.

Putting age/grade will help the rest of us in what kind of advice to give


Try getting him to invite a friend over on weekends. He has to build bonds with others, you can’t do that for him. Weekend sleep overs can help him get close to a few… then those few tend to bring in more …


Is he old enough to exchange phone numbers with friends. My oldest daughter texts her girl friends off her iPad w/just WiFi. It allows helps her make plans with others and just have someone other than parents and siblings. She of course will ask for permission once they have an idea on what they’d like to do… but not having a landline phone this works well for us

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I don’t know what grade he is in but being in band helped both of my boys make new friends. We have moved twice in 3 years.

Takes time that’s all x

I agree with Kelly Kelley invite friends over to stay the weekend or invite friends over after school and spend a few hours together chilling and getting to know each other

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Do you have a class directory? You could look there.

Our school has a “___ elementary class of 2029” page and I’ve met some of the parents that way by learning the child’s last name and stalking the page to see if I could find a parent. You could reach out that way.

Boy Scouts. Or martial arts as well
Invite a kid that he likes and have them go to a movie or something


He will find his place, it’s very hard as a mom

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