How do I leave an abusive relationship when he owns everything. We aren’t married, but we do have an almost two-year-old together. He made me sell my car from my graduation present (he said it was junk), a car that was in my name…so he could ‘buy us’ a family car (that’s only in his name) when I got pregnant. He made me lose my phone plan because on his line, a 4th one was free (that I understand). But literally, I own nothing but my kid now. We’ve been together for four years now, and it’s only progressively gotten worse. I finally talked him into letting me get a job two nights a week babysitting older people. He usually never lets me out of the house, so like I’ve lost the two friends I do have here. I’m not from here. All my family lives 28hours away; the only person I have here is my dad, who isn’t speaking to me right now. But like, what’s the next step? He tracks me on my phone and car, so I cant secretly do anything. I’m just at a crossroads and need some solid advice. No judgments, please.
When you’re at work, call your family and set a plan. Tell them to come get you WITH THE POLICE by their side, pack you and your kid and leave. When you get 28 hours away immediately file for full custody. Then go file for food stamps, emergency cash assistance, etc… In Oregon you can get a domestic violence grant to help get you into an apartment, pay bills for a couple months, and I’m sure other states have that as well.
Contact family ask for a bus ticket or something and take your child and leave. Leave your phone and everything behind
you start from scratch with nothing, and move on. Get child support, go home. 28 hours isn’t a long trip, they probably would help you get back there. Get yourself a burner phone—a domestic shelter might help you establish that, even if it’s a flip phone. He can’t track you if you jump on the next bus out with your flip phone. No service needed, buy minutes as you go. abandon your car that he owns a comfortable walking distance from the shelter……
Seek help & fast or literally up & leave turn your phone off
My best advice to you is to get ahold of a domestic abuse counselor and see what your options are. A lot of times there are people who will take in women and children who don’t have anything to help you get on your feet.
What state are you in? I was in Oregon and they have a $1200 Domestic Violence-TANF grant.
They were able to pay for quite a bit of the moving costs for myself and my 14 month old.
Get ahold of a woman’s shelter
Leave your phone and your belongings grab your baby with a few supplies and get out of there. If he’s physically abused you then go to the police and explain everything. See what help you can get through the council etc.
Seek a local battered women’s shelter. If you don’t know of one contact a police officer even if you literally have to flag I e down. If he is abusing you wait until he leaves or goes to sleep dial 911
I literally left with nothing and started o er. It was super hard at first but over time it worked itself out
Call a woman’s shelter and the police. They will take you and your baby out if there and hook you up with travelers aid to het you home. Best of luck. Run !!!
Talk to a lawyer about custody and then look into shelters and welfare help to GET AWAY!!! Make amends with your dad (if possible) and ask for any help he can offer! There’s so many places that offer help when it comes to DV. I suggest that after you get your ducks in a row you go to your local court house and ask for a restraining order!
There are battered women shelters all over the place. There is a 1 800 hotline for women in your position.
They will put you up somewhere and you will have to get in contact with the police and local social services (espicially if there is a kid involved) to help you on the right track.
Take what you can and get out of there
Yuuuuup you ditch that guy asap any way that you can
I think this starts with, “Dad I need help I’m stuck and scared dont know what to do.” If he cares about you I think he will do what he can to get you out
There are typically services in each county that they could actually get you a bus ticket home as well!
No matter what’s going on with u and ur father… I would guaranteed or would at least hope that if u would text him along the lines “dad I’m in trouble/in need of seriosu help… I need to get out of my situation its getting worse” that he would drop everything going on feeling wise and help his little girl. My mom is both of my parents and I know for fact thats she would do… I hope he would do that for not only u but his grandbaby… And leave ur phone there… Get a small smart phone (25$ at Wal-Mart one time pay… and 25/30$ to activate it and monthly.)and work on rest when ur able to
It’s never easy but leave and start a new life for u and your child. Make him pay child support and learn from past mistakes.
Sounds like an intro to dateline 20/20.
Once there is any way to get a restraining order on him I’d do it. He’s not stable in the least if he’s that controlling. Maybe reach out to your relatives that live 28 hours away and see if you can stay with them initially.