How can I leave my relationship?

I’m so lost on what to do about this. I want out of this relationship so bad. We have 3 kids together ages 7, 3 and 1. Whenever I try to leave the house after and argument with the kids, he threatens to call the police, and says that he wants the kids and that he’s not going a single night without them sleeping at his house. He’s also not willing to go through the courts when I say that whatever he wants will never happen, the least I will do is 50/50. I want to leave so badly, but have no where to go with the kids, and I don’t have any family around. Do I file for custody without him knowing? I’m trying to get into an apartment but the problem of being on my current lease for only 6 months may bring up problems for a new place unless I somehow am able to get my name off this lease. I want out of here, and I’m not going anywhere without my kids!


Alexander house they will help you

Start with talking to your apartment complex office. See what they say. If there is domestic they may let you out if documented.


Typically if you talk to a landlord about the fact you’re leaving the other person on the lease they’ll let you and only you off, especially if it’s domestic violence that you’re leaving for. But yes for sure if he threatens to call cops absolutely file custody with or without him knowing most places cops won’t do anything about a parent leaving their spouse and taking their children (especially female in most cases). Where I live cops will not do anything over one parent taking children and leaving other than tell them take it to court. Do what’s best for you and your kiddos!

Does he work? Leave when he’s not there, the police can’t take them from you and give them to him without courts being involved


Be careful about talking to the complex. Mine informed my ex of everything I was up to when I talked to them. My daughters school also told him I was having her transferred, they called and told him, knowing he wasn’t her BIO father. Just be careful. Very few can be trusted.

Document everything start having the police show up for domestic violence so when you do go to court the judge sees a pattern of his behavior the court will never take your kids from you unless you are deemed unfit leave and never look back you can do it


Unless you have a court order you can leave with your children so if you have family some where you can go and take your kids until everything is figured out. Talk to a lawyer and see what they say your best options are

I’m pretty sure mom and dad both have custody till the court says otherwise. File for custody and list domestic violence and check with government housing. I’m pretty sure because of domestic violence they will get you an apt and have an epo put on him. Till the court says different I dont think he can do anything except go to jail for violating an epo!

you are the one that will have to do the epo

Filing for divorce will give you custody of the kids and the apt automatically. If you are in fear of your safety contact the women’s shelter or police department can help. Leave while he is at work. The police dept. Attorney or shelter can work out the details with you to ensure your safety.

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stay safe for yourself and your children. prayers for you and your family!!

if you all are not married, you have custody till court says different!


Are you married? If not, depending on where you live, you have legal custody unless a court says otherwise.

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Call a shelter and get advice from a expert on this matter

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When I got divorced our daughter stayed with me. Her dad and I had to go to mediation to figure out custody. Since your children are below the states age to let them say what they want. The court will appoint a mediator to sit with the both of you. In the end they will decide a temp living custody arrangement until lawyers and yourself can come up with an agreement and if you cant the temp custody will be permanent. Ask for physical placement as well. Meaning you could do 50/50 but their home would be considered with you. Thats what I had to go thru.

Order of protection FIRST. Then file for EMERGENCY custody ASAP


The fact that he said he won’t go a single night without them sleeping there is a very very dangerous situation and a red flag… Leave when he’s not home

Not sure what state you are in or if you’re married but in MN if you aren’t married you have fully custody of the kids until he fights for custody so let him call the cops there’s nothing they can do

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Why do you all just assume he is abusive? No where in this girls story does it say that. If my SO threatened to take my kids after an argument I would tell them hell no too. Why is it ok for a mom to want full custody of the kids, but not ok for the dad? Unless this guy is abusive, these two people need to grow up and figure out how to communicate.