How can I make my 11 year old feel better about herself?

I need to find a way to help my 11-year-old daughter feel better about herself. She has been dealing with anxiety and depression with Covid going on, and now she has very low confidence. She has been seeing a therapist, so this is something we’ve been working on. She has naturally curly hair, but it’s been more of a frizz lately, and she doesn’t want to put any effort into it, so I was thinking of doing a light perm for her (I’m licensed) so that all she has to do is a product, scrunch, and go. She does a lot of drawing and artwork, and we’ve gotten those into the school talent show, so they were on the Youtube channel, and she got so many compliments! She has all A’s in school, does so well, has a lot of friends, but she still feels small. Does anyone have any other ideas on how I can help boost her confidence?? I’m running out of ideas, and she’s still depressed…


Maybe some hair dye … the kind that washes out after how ever many washes … let her pick some colors do some chunky colorful highlights if she’s into it … might make her want to take care of her hair

You sounds soo supportive! :heart:


You describe my daughter contact mobile crisis center they can talk to her and you give advice give her a therapist

What about starting some kind of exercise program together?


I think outdoor activities are super important too, especially now that’s it’s getting nicer. Being outside is good therapy for me and my kids


A mom and me day! Take her shopping, get her hair and nails done or if your budget allows for it maybe a weekend trip somewhere of her choice also just keep telling her she should be proud of herself and she’s beautiful :heart:

Horse back riding if she is into that kind of thing. Find a local lesson barn to get involved in.

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Take her out for a day of all her.
Ask her if she wants to do something different with her hair (maybe she wants straight, thinner, shorter, bangs/no bangs, different color, e.t.c.), nails, go shopping, a spa day, or just ask her what she would like to do.
Anything specifically that makes her feel this way, or does she need her hormones checked?

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It’s puberty it’s not kind she has so many hormones hitting her at once right now.

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We’re all surrounded by media showcasing perfect people with perfect bodies. Combine that with the confidence problems that naturally occur in the pre teen and teenage years and it can turn into a disaster. The biggest influence comes from you though. Kids learn from their parents.
My oldest is almost 15 and spent most of their years watching me battle with my own confidence. They have their own problems now.
My youngest watched me unlearn it. I have a broken body that’s fat and I’m okay with it now. I rock and own it. My youngest is fearless. She’ll take on the world and probably win.

Lots of positive reinforcement…good communication.

Let her chose what she wants to do to her hair and just foster it. My daughter is mixed and hated her hair. She is obsessed with mine cause she thinks mine is so nice.
I always tell her I want her hair. Lots of positive reinforcement and I also take her to get hers done …I show her other people’s that are beautiful with hair like hers.

Also think about what you needed as a kid. And give her that.

Exercising also helps with hormones. It helps people feel better and look better

I sat down and created a “dream board” with my 11 year old. We had life goals for achieving like college and things but we also made fun goals like the type of house you want, where you want to live, what kind of car. It was a fun project and she keeps it up in her room now


I love how much effort and support you have for your child. You seem to be doing all kinds of amazing things. I don’t have any advice, just wanted to say you seem to be doing an amazing job and I hope your child gets to feeling more like themself again. Anxiety and depression are hard for us all, even at that age.


Positive affirmations. Have her look in the mirror and talk to her self. She can say I am strong, I am smart, I am beautiful and so on and do it everyday. You could also leave sticky notes around the house with positive affirmations tell her things you love about her.

You are doing a great job staying involved with her! Just a thought, maybe she could see a counselor? They could help her with coping skills.

If she’s stressed about her hair, ask her what kind of hair she likes and since you’re licensed, do it for her. Straighten her hair one day, braid it, add some colors. My daughter is 5 and has extremely curly hair and always says she likes straight hair. I blew out her hair and straightened it only to have her say she likes her curls better. I tell her women pay lots of money to have her hair. Sometimes they just have to see it on themselves. Butttttt… I don’t think her hair is the issue here. I think kids these days are much more sensitive on what’s going on in this world. My 10 yr old asks questions I wouldn’t have asked at 10. I think kids are so programmed to grow up so quickly now and they struggle with it. As they should… they’re still kids. They are young. They don’t need to worry about this stuff going on. Maybe literally ask her what are you specifically struggling with. Talk it through. No matter how little it is to you, it’s huge to her. You sound like an extremely supportive, amazing parent… your daughter is v lucky :pray:t3::heartpulse:


Horse riding lessons