How can I make my husband understand that I need help?

My husband is really getting under my skin. I try to get his help with potty training our toddler, and the response is, “oh well, he was calm, so I figured I’d just let him sit there.” I was breastfeeding my two-month-old, which was why I asked him. I asked him to take him to lay down for his nap like he normally does. And he asked our boy if he wanted to nap. Of course, my toddler said no, and so my husband said, okay, we will just give him an early bedtime. And then he goes back out in the garage to do whatever he is doing. I’m unbelievably frustrated with this man. He doesn’t have a job and isn’t looking for one, but he is supposed to be the breadwinner. He doesn’t seem to have an interest in helping me with the kids. And I don’t know how to talk to him about it without blowing up on him, so I need an outside perspective to help me collect my thoughts so I can sit down with him and discuss these things.

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Pump breast milk…get a job leave him home to take care of the kids. He sounds worthless.

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Doesn’t sound like much of a man :woman_shrugging:t2: but what you allow is what will continue.

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I’d show him the curb

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I would be upfront, tell him to find a job/help with kids or leave since ur doing it alone anyway if he cant do his part to go

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It’s okay to speak with emotion… idk what the issue is there. You told all of the internet just fine, go tell him the exact same. If you think you can’t do it respectfully, write a letter and have a plan. He might not even know what you expect from him if you aren’t communicating.

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Girl, put your foot down. “No, put him down for a nap now!” Just as an example. Sometimes men just don’t know what to do in those situations and need some guidance and need to be told what to do. After a bit he will be more used to the routine

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I told my husband that if he’s not going to help with our son then his ass better get a job. He got his ass in gear and started helping more, and also found a job. I did threaten to make him move into our office and treat him like a roommate and would not be doing anything for him anymore

Sounds like my lazy ass husband. Def time to get a new one

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Sooo what is he contributing?

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Useless. Get rid of that pig.

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How is he supposed to be the breadwinner, if he doesn’t have a job?
Talk too him. Communication, is key. Men aren’t mind readers. And, those issues, are also not that big either. You can get a job too, and have him stay home with the kids. That’s an option too. But most importantly, you should communicate with your husband. Not a bunch of strangers on the internet. Who see 2 little things he doesn’t do right away, and scream to not only leave him, but tear your family apart too 🤷

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No money, no help, no support? No nookie, no wife, no kids.

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I say men are only complicating woman’s live.

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Sounds like you need to be the man. Go get a job, let him figure out how to be a house husband.

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I don’t expect my man for the breadwinner and he’s in the trades so it’s quite simple when you are laid off unemployment or not you do house work, cook and what not if I am working and your not you got the kid While I work. He will figure it out. It took my husband calling for help a few times and had people come over at first and help him with her now he’s a pro. When I first went back to work and he wasn’t working at the time.

When we both work we help each other out you do dishes I will cook , you give kiddo a bath I will do x.

It’s all about being vocal and direct I learned especially if your husband is a big kid.

If you know you will blow up write a letter. Outline what you expectations are of your marriage, parenting, and your deal breakers and boundries. Be clear but don’t threaten anything your not willing to follow through with. Empty threaths only make things worse.
Being the breadwinner is not a bad idea if hes willing and capable of doing it. It takes alot of compmrise and teamwork.
But if your just gonna come home from work and do it all Then whats he good for?

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If u r doing it alone with him there kick him out my kids wouldn’t help either and I tried and tried and begged always had to depend on both of our families it doesn’t get better and if won’t help with u there he won’t do it if make him be house husband

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Exit stage left, do not pass go or collect one more dime…

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Most men are clueless! Spell it out. Maybe even make a list if it will help. If he’s not going to work and provide he would be out the door.

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