How can I make my husband understand that I need time to heal through my loss?

Hi, I need advice. I’m 41yrs old, lost a pregnancy on Christmas Eve, and I didn’t buy my 3yr old any Christmas gift. I had family members that supported me on Christmas day with all his favorite toys. Since my loss of a pregnancy, I’m so depressed and my 3yr old irritates me and my husband too. I want to be alone I asked my husband that I want to go for a weekend by myself and he doesn’t want me to go. I had seen help but these institutions give run around s. Feel lost.

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I would suggest talking to a professional about these issues. He could be concerned that you could harm yourself being away for a weekend alone.

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Im sorry for your loss but Dont lost your relationship with your other child and husband too…

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Im very sorry for your loss. As hard as it is to lose a child, its not your 3 year olds fault. I think it would be better for you to speak to a mental health professional as I think a weekend away would probably cause you to fall deeper into your depression. Explain to your husband how you are feeling xx

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Trying not to judge but why didn’t you get Christmas gifts before Christmas Eve? I shop all month for my crew. I had two miscarriages and still had to care for my children. I’d say if you feel you really need a get away then keep talking to him. Or maybe go on a day trip. Or some alone time in the shower…
sorry for your loss.

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So you didn’t get anything for your child prior to the loss? I understand you lost your baby Christmas Eve but wow…

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I’m sorry for you loss and I do feel for you and hope you find the help you need to get through such a tough and heartbreaking time. But I really feel for your child. They’re innocent at that age and they have no clue or idea of what’s happened.

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You didn’t buy your kid Christmas, and he irritates you? How awful for your child! Maybe your husband should take the child and leave until you can get some help. You don’t get to stop being a parent because you’re sad!

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Your feelings are completely valid. Talk to your doctor. And sit down & talk to your husband. You are allowed to get annoyed with your husband & kid, you’re human. Sorry for your loss.

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You can’t really make someone understand how you feel, some people can only be as empathic as they know how to be. I’m someone who thrives on personal space and time. In the hardest times of my life. I’ve taken a self care vacay for a weekend. Not calling nobody. Not texting nobody. And just had some decompressing me time. There were times I just laid there and others I was hiking or taking a shower. I just needed a few days away from everything else. Saying your kid irritates you is real, it’s valid and it takes a lot for a person to recognize that they’re the one not okay in a situation. I hope you find a solution that works for you and at least learn how to live with your grief. Anyone who says you’ll get over it, is a liar. You’ll just get used to it

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Ugh. Im sorry that everyone is reacting to your feelings about your other child this way. I felt this way right after having my daughter and she came home with me. It happens. Its a symptom of PPD. you need to see a doctor and get some help. This is not an easy time, and I feel for you! I’ve been there and im FINALLY getting back to it. It is not too late to get your child a gift for Christmas. They will probably be THRILLED to have a random gift to open! I really hope you get some help mama. Also. Its normal to be irritated with 3 year olds. The age of 3 is just irritating. It gets easier with time hon. I hope it all works out for you, and im here if you decide you’d like to pm me. I won’t judge you the way im seeing some of these comments are. It isnt fair.

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I’m more concerned with the fact that Christmas wasn’t taken care of prior to Christmas Eve. Even if the pregnancy was an impending loss, your husband should have been on that. I get the whole terrible T thing. And yes then I feel guilty cuz I don’t want to hear mom one more time.

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Ummm u should have Christmas bought long before Christmas Eve and i think you losing your pregnancy was a convient excuse. Im sorry for your loss but the child that you have here and thriving should take precedence.

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I’ve gone through 2 miscarriages and 4 years of depression because of it. I feel for you. It will take time. I used painting as therapy for getting through all those feelings of not being good enough. I would suggest, if you need time, speaking to your husband about giving you time during the day of uninterrupted solace.

Reading these comments you can see the lack of education on mental health.

You cant force people to understand, but you do have to take care of yourself. If you dont like the doctors there…reach out further…NEVER give up on fixing yourself!

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Talk to your Dr. about how you are feeling. Could be ppd or ppa. Therapy does wonders! More people then you think have experienced the same feelings and thoughts, just so you know your not alone.

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I think you need to go check yourself into a mental health facility like now. Not tomorrow. Go to the ER and tell them all of what you typed. They will help you.

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Insist that you get the time alone that you want. You wanting to be away has nothing to do not having love for your husband or child.

Take the time you need. Don’t listen to these people telling you otherwise.

Take your time soon and let your husband know or whoever will be taking care of things.

Your mental health is very important but you need to grieve in the way you need to.

Blessed Be Beautiful. Cry but be strong, you have an angel watching over you.

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If you need to be admitted for your mental health, please communicate that.

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You need to seek out help. Going away isn’t going to fix it. You need to go to therapy.

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