I’m 31 with three kids (12, 9, and 6). I want another baby badly, but my husband is on the fence. He keeps asking why and since when. After our miscarriage 3yrs ago, I got the IUD and dead set against another baby. Now I really want another baby before it’s too late. He thinks it’s women’s hormones but I don’t think so. I’m so depressed and don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling to him. Any advice on how to start this convo without feeling silly and emotional
Just be to the point with it.
“It’s not hormones. I want another child.”
If you get upset when talking about it and can’t continue speaking maybe try writing him a letter about it! And then having a discussion after he reads it
Sit down with him and discuss how both of you feel. If you are dead set on another child, but he doesn’t feel the same turn you may have a serious dilemma ahead of you.
I will say , I will take my husband No more kids , 3 is enough maybe he wants you and him to enjoy life yourselves too instead of starting all over again ,
Planning a family is husband and wife’s decision , 3 kids is enough to prove you love him and he is good with that so obey him , this not about he loves me he loves me not be a good mom to the 3 kids and a good wife to your hobby , everyone will be so happy and you Missy wife start getting sexy sexy again
I’d say just keep trying to talk to him about it! Tell him that baby fever is setting in hard!
Maybe he has fears as well and is worried. Have you spoke to him about why he is on the fence?
Just be open and honest with him. But ultimately you can’t force him into it. His feelings about this are just as important as yours. It’s a big decision and if he’s pushed into it he may resent you.
First of all don’t listen to anyone who tells you to “ obey “ him. I would also tell your husband it’s not hormones but if he’s at a hard no after discussing it one more time, I think you should respect his opinion & figure it out from there. Good luck hun.
Maybe you need to sit down with him and tell him what you are feeling and why, why do you feel the need for another child, ask him for how he feels and thinks, and suggest writing a list of why you should and why you should not. Be logical, things like can you afford another child, can you handle the up all night with a baby stuff, and with the COVID stuff is it really a good time to bring a child into the world. Really be honest with yourself many women decide they want another child because they think they can save a not so great marriage that way, thinking if there is a baby it will fix things, if that is the case the answer is no a baby will make things worse. If you have your IUD removed and get pregnant in secret he may resent you. If you want to see what a baby in the house would be like offer to babysit for a single mother with a baby that might cure you of what I call “babyitis”
You are a woman. It’s literally NATURAL for you to feel those things. It’s tough because you need two to tango. I would sit down and give each other both the opportunity to equally voice your opinions in this matter. No arguing! No finger pointing! This needs to be mutual
Three is enough, sometimes if you push him into another one it can cause resentment. You have three right now maybe focus on the ones you have and not on having another child who is only going to stay a baby for a year.
If he walks off and leaves you-can you support three kids-something to think about
i agree. Both feelings matter not just one. He should also have a voice about why he’s on the fence and respect his feelings too. Then maybe agree to discuss it again in 3 months or 6 months or whatever. But give each other some things to think about during that period. You both should be open-minded.
However, if he decides he doesn’t want anymore, can you honestly be ok with that and not be resentful? Can you be happy with the little family you already have?
Really think about the “why” and go from there.
Another baby and you are only 31?? Girl… you already got 3.
You’re being selfish maybe he’s worried about the burden financially and it seems to me like you think of baby’s going to make you happy you have some deep soul searching to take care of
Just explain that after you lost the baby you were scared to try again. miscarriages come with alot of emotions and they take time to heal, and your feelings on it and your husband’s are not the same. He may have been sad but it’s so much more for women. Yall should discuss what it would change - do you need to buy a bigger vehicle, does your house accommodate another, financially do you already struggle. These things should be thought about in depth before you have another baby. Also if you’re feeling depressed, chances are a baby can’t/won’t fix that. If he’s open to it, maybe some couples counseling to help you through your feelings together.
Don’t worry about sounding “silly and emotional” please. He better be able to provide you with enough safety and space to express yourself emotionally with him, like raw emotion, and if he can’t do THAT then you should try and address that issue with him first.
I just had my third baby 3 weeks ago. My hubby has had to literally do everything for me except poop in the toilet yes he even had to empty my catheter I had for 2 weeks because they cut my bladder during my c-section. I’m exhausted and he just keeps taking my demands like a champ. It’s very scary having a baby especially if your bank account is not sufficient.
I totally understand you both your clock is ticking and he’s really going to have to step up. Good luck.