How can I make myself trust my boyfriend?

My question is, how can I make myself trust my boyfriend? I have had many messed-up issues in past relationships, so my walls are very high, and my trust for anyone is very low. I’m 20 weeks pregnant, and it’s been difficult to believe this guy is the one for me. I cheated on him at the very beginning of our now almost two-year relationship, so I’m always going to believe one day he’ll use it as an excuse to get back at me. I’m so scared to let my walls down and give him my all and then for that to happen. My mind does not let me rest, and being pregnant doesn’t help. We live separate but have been trying to find a home big enough for both his and my kids. Any tips and tricks to ease my mind would be greatly appreciated.

15 Likes

You can’t make yourself trust someone. It comes with time. I think you honestly just feel bad and have a guilty conscience for what happened in the past. If he one day uses it against you, then he isn’t the one for you. I hope you both can grow through this!

Just my personal view, but this is an issue that a counselor or therapist should help you work through over time-there are no tips or tricks for this one-too important.

7 Likes

Punishing him for your mistakes doesn’t sound fair so I would say…you need to forgive yourself. Fear is not reality. Take care of yourself, your man, and your baby…enjoy this time in your life :heart:

20 Likes

You should never want to make someone do something. Then they’re not truly wanting to do it for the reasons that you so are wanting. So you would be losing from the beginning. Seek therapy it’s for the best

Your relationship doesn’t sound healthy at all and I don’t think you bringing another child into the situation is going to help at all. You guys need couples therapy asap

11 Likes

Wait. You cant trust him because you cheated on him?
There’s no advice for that. He doesn’t deserve to be held accountable for your worries and mistakes. I’d suggest therapy for yourself at the very least.

36 Likes

You are a cheater and somehowe he is a main problem and his fault?!

3 Likes

LOL. How can he but his full trust in you?

8 Likes

Hmm idk maybe don’t cheat? How are you going to cheat and then not trust him? You need you work on yourself.

10 Likes

Wow these questions you cant trust him because clearly you can’t trust yourself

If he hasn’t given you any reason to not trust him, then you should. Tell him exactly how you feel about it. Communication is huge in a healthy relationship. You’ve already committed to this relationship by having his child.

Wait so you cheated on him an can’t trust him?? :joy::joy::joy: he should be the one who don’t trust you.

16 Likes

Lmao the fucking questions in this group. You can’t trust him because you cheated?

This relationship doesn’t sound good you say your walls are high because of things that have happened in the past yet you cheat on him and he is the one not trusted soooo toxic

13 Likes

Don’t move in together. Idk how that would make things better.

2 Likes

Therapy and lots of it. I’m not saying this to be mean but you was the one unfaithful and yet you can’t trust him? You can’t punish him for your screw up thats not fair to him. He stayed with you after U cheated so he must be a faithful partner and really loves you

4 Likes

Im sorry but you cheated on him so you have a guilty concense tht someone is gonna return the favor smh tht trust issue you have is nobodys fault but your own if anything he should be the one having trust issues with u. …

5 Likes

Why would you cheat on someone if you claim you know the same pain. My advice is don’t be a cheater and you won’t have a guilty conscience.

7 Likes