I have been following this page for years now, secretly learning a lot from beautiful mothers here, but being a man, I never comment; I just read secretly. I am a father of two beautiful girls, one (Sarah) will be 6yrs old by February, and the other (precious) is about 4months old. Still, since the birth of my second baby, all my attention has shifted to her, and I am scared I don’t wanna have a favorite child; I want all my children to be my favorite and LOVE them EQUALLY. How can I go about these ?Please, I seriously need your advice. Thank you
While the baby requires more attention, you could always do daddy and me dates with your oldest!! Go to lunch, have her nails painted (or you can give it a try lol) tea party’s, movie nights etc! Make it a weekly thing she’d love it
My children are all my favorite, but for different reasons. My eldest I learned to be a mom, so he’s my favorite for surviving my mistakes. My daughter is my only girl and we have a special bond because of it. My youngest I knew was my last and I found every one of the last mile stones to be special. Right now the baby needs you more, but you’ll find a way to make it even out. They’ll both have something you connect with. In the end you love them equally.
So when I had my little one I let my older boy know that the baby literally requires me to do everything for them and that is why they get so much of my attention. It doesn’t mean I love them more, they just can’t do anything by themselves yet.
You can have her help you with the baby so she feels included and like a good big sister.
My mom has 7 kids and she never was able to split quality time she had her favorite that got all the attention. Now you have 7 kids who refuse to speak to mom and none of the siblings talk to the favorite one…
Treat them fairly, not equally. Took me a long time to realize this. They are living two different lives. Nothing will ever be equal, nothing will be the same.
Always include your eldest child pretend you have forgotten wipes baby gro etc and ask her to help you this bonded my 2 as girls love being mini mums
It honestly took me a while to become a mom of 2. I have a 5 yr old and a 3 month old. Thats literally always my biggest worry too. We also have to realize tho our older kids understand babies need more attention. If you’re the type of parent that doesn’t want to put your baby down for reasons and constantly holding then get a baby wrap. I bought the Moby wrap and its awsome. The thing that I do to make sure my son doesn’t feel left out is I play with him all the time and try to include him in baby caring when he wants or house cleaning when he wants. Whatever crazy game he has come up with like lava tag, hide and seek tag, or sword fighting(using lego swords) then I do it. Of course he understand I have to clean and cook and feed baby but overall he understands that I’m still here present. Once a week go do something the oldest child wants to do. Like play at the park, get ice cream, go jump on a trampoline, movies or get nails done. All your children want from you is to be present. Don’t worry too much cuz our kids pick up on that real quick. You got this!
Your love for them will be equal, but they are individuals. Which means the relationships are going to be different. Just focus on showing them both your unfaltering love and dont worry so much if it is the same for each child. It won’t be so dont set yourself up for that expectation.
I’m a single mom of 4 and I’ll tell you it’s hard! I work too so my time is wonky. I just try to do fun things with them that they will remember. Try to spend your free time looking after them, but focus on your self care too or it gets rough. For instance when they both go to sleep, grab that hot bath or screen time you’ve been missing.
Comment whenever you like lovely. I’m a single woman who’s not even close to having a bf let alone a child.
If you don’t know you don’t needs kids it hard to do that when one 4 months old the other one 6 years old come on dude you can figure it out
When your 4 month.old has naps or goes down for the night have a daddy daughter night pop popcorn watch a movie during the nap at nap.time bake cookies or let her help.u.fold laundry. Or even.put away dishes when washed. You could spend time with.both.children.in the evening go.for a nice walk get an.ice cream cone. Or the park. Good luck dad
Spend nap time with ur oldest…doing something she wants i.e. tea parties, reading books, arts n crafts, watching her favorite show etc …
Just make sure you set aside time for your first born. Having a new baby means lots of attention for baby, it’s a given. Take her on little trips she can remember. Even something as simple as a store trip can be made special.
Include her in different things, take her places, or while the baby sleeps, do an activity.
Designate special times with your first born daughter every week. Let her pick activities and you spend that designated time focused on her. Let her pick a movie and do movie night. Ice Cream dates. Let her paint your nails (This was a favorite with my dad and grandpa. I still remember the laughs). Go on a nature walk. Maybe make a jar of activities and every week she pulls one from the jar and you do it together.
Make a date night just for you and her. Go for a walk, ice cream, dinner, etc. I’m 42 and remember my mom taking time with me. My girls are now experiencing dates with dad
Its something they will never forget
Little dates, for both of them…just you and one at a time…breakfast, lunch…shopping trip…even if it’s just to the pet store to see the animals (mine loved that), park… doesn’t have to cost money, just time
If u can, do daddy daughter dates. It can be as simple as a movie of her choice at home with pizza or a out to eat dinner. Getting coffee after school, etc. You’re doing great, daddy! Keep up the good work!