How can I talk to my best friend about her sons behavior without offending her?

My friend’s son is a little over two years old, and my daughter is 3. We’re really good friends, have been for over 20 years, so obviously we want our kids to grow up together and play together. I’m starting to see though that her son is very rough, and I understand he is a boy and boys are much rougher usually than girls, but she had played with other boys his age before and never came up to me crying or whining the way she does around my friend’s son. And when I say rough, I mean he pushes her down, pulls her hair, scratches her and hits her. I tell her she has to defend herself and even show her and tell her she has to tell him, “STOP IT!” but I think she is afraid to. Here’s where I need some advice. I love my friend and her son dearly, but I’m getting to the point where I don’t want to bring my daughter around her son to play anymore because she is constantly getting hurt and crying. How do I bring this up to my friend without her getting offended? Like I said before, my daughter has played with other little boys before and didn’t have this problem. What can I do?


Be straight up with her. Say “I don’t like the way my daughter comes up crying every time the kids play together” no need to beat around the bush. Would you rather have a happy child or lose a friend?

If she does not stop it now its only going to get worse .


If shes that good of a friend she will understand and not get upset. Just be honest and tell her that if her son keeps it up either you are going to do something about it or you’re going to leave.


What the hell are you even asking for? Your child comes first. Tell her straight up about what her kid is doing. If she can’t see it and do something about it you need a new friend.


She is your friend so I’m sure she will understand your feelings. If it were a reversed situation I’m sure she would bring up the issue to you. If it still continues I would make less play dates. Your child doesn’t need to be around ppl who hurt them.

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Simply tell her what you said here. These are the facts, this is how I feel, this is what I’m going to do


Does this mother not know already that this is happening when your little girl comes to you crying saying what has happened if your there visiting?


This child needs to corrected period… if she won’t or can’t then tell her when he’s at your house you won’t allow it! Peroid


I would onky hang out with her when kids are not around. Dont let your baby take his abuse, some kids just have issues.

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Who cares if you offended her and yes you told your little girl to stick up for herself for one she is still reallt little to really understand that also it’s still your job to protect her why haven’t you told of the little boy yourself if you know it’s happening


That’s not “rough”. That’s a child with behavioral and emotional control issues. You tell that friend under no circumstances is her son to behave this way. Teach your child to throw a punch his way if asking him to stop doesn’t work. Straight up. This needs correction or he will think its ok and probably already does. She knows what he’s doing and clearly the behavior isn’t being addressed.


I would correct him myself if she doesn’t :woman_shrugging:t2:


Keep the children in your sight always. Make get togethers out a park or luncheons so she can see his behavior. If she doesn’t see his behavior maybe it’s better they don’t become friends until your daughter is older.

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As a mother you should stop the aggression at the moment. Set some rules before the play time start and tell them both that hit and pulling hair is not acceptable. If He does it, just call him and telling him No. If she your friend allow it, You won’t. Don’t be afraid to loose a friend.


She better get him, my sister will beat the mother and him, south east style…

Straightforward. Tell her exactly what you told us in this post.


Just tell her. If she gets offended, tough shit. I doubt this will end your friendship. I’m sure she sees it too.

Your daughter’s safety should be your number 1 priority, not your friends’ feelings.

The sooner you address this to your friend, the sooner it’ll get resolved.


Stop making your child play with him and inform your friend why there will be no more play dates. Always put your child first


I would most definitely tell the lil boy off, in front of his mother if this behaviour continues, hes a bully who is getting away with being abusive, right where the parent’s are!! Yet it still happens !!
You must act now, this is not a boy playing rough, this is a boy who thinks its ok!! Act now!!