How can I talk to my children about race?

I am white with an almost exclusively white family and a white/Hispanic friend circle. I have a 1.5 year old and a 3.5 year old. My 3.5 year old came to me a few months ago and asked me, “Mama, what color am I.” I was shocked and tried to change the subject, my friend asked him to repeat himself, and I stopped them, saying that I didn’t want him to think about himself or others as a specific color. Given what is currently happening, I feel like I may not have responded correctly. How do I have a discussion about race that a three-year-old would understand, and also have it be constructive and not plant ideas of inequality? I, as an adult, can understand the premise around the Black Lives Matter Movement, and I can clearly see the inequality, but how can I relay to someone so young? I would like people of color or mixed families’ responses. What can I do to make a positive impact on my kid’s perception, and help your voices be heard?


Just lead by example.


Be honest, also tell them that we all need to be nice to everyone


Be honest, lead by example and check out the sesame street episode where they talk about it.

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Just tell him that even tho people have different skin colors we are all human with the same color blood.


You can raise your child to not fear mine is #1 also to not stereotype people my daughter is biracial people judge her automatically based on her skin tone. My daughter was accused at 12 years old of trying to steal at Sephora :roll_eyes: she had a $200 gift card VISA in her purse and my child doesn’t steal. The cops were even called and when they played the tapes back all they saw was the store clerk following her and her friend around the store. These things happen EVERYDAY disproportionately to people of color and sometimes they end up like what happened to George Floyd. This is why people are so upset and done with it. They don’t expect us to understand :100: we couldn’t even if we tried but they DO expect us to at least TRY and to not defend actions we know are WRONG.


He is a specific color, we all are. It’s important to help him understand that we are all different, and yet we are all human. Our differences are a part of what makes us who we are, and its important that we as parents of the next generation help them to understand that different doesn’t mean bad. Just as there are different cultures, different races, different nationalities. Different parts make up one whole, which is the human race. We should be proud of our differences, and at the same time be accepting and respectful towards everyone.

Acknowledge differences. Respect them.


“There is only one race and thats the HUMAN race”
Thats what you should tell yourself then you’ll know to answer the question.


I tell my kids we are God’s masterpiece so he used lots of different, beautiful colors.


My daughter started askin questions last year would have been 3 or so i just told her everybody has different skin and different kinds of familys. Eg what sparked her intrest was 2 sisters one white one black that we met in the park the mom was white it confused her a bit but i explaind the truth never got asked again

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The answer is The color God Made and you are perfect.


Tell him that his white tell him that he ll see all different colours of people tell him everyone is unique most of all tell him it doesn’t really matter what colour skin you have has that’s not what makes you beautiful and kind etc etc


Simple terms, when they are old enough and ask. For your older child, I used eggs, chocolate. Different on the outside, same on the inside. Also, its good to have diversity; wouldn’t it horrible to eat the SAME cookie everyday forever?!?! See the differences in people (and cookies) and see what they can learn from the differences and enjoy what each race /religion/cookie have to offer.
Lastly, read, read read them stories about diversity. Google it. Tons of good kids books out there. Good luck mama!


Ask him what color he wants to be and why. You may be overthinking his understanding.

Teach children to see the human, not the skin color.

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You can explain it from a heritage standpoint. Your child is white and there is nothing wrong with that. Find some information on your genealogy and teach him about it. Every other race is very proud of where they come from as he should be. At the same time teach equality. No one is better than another. Don’t make him feel guilty for who he is but let him grow up with an open heart.


With my 3yr old, rather than ignoring color, we celebrate it. Nobody’s helped by pretending there’s no difference. There is. We simply acknowledge that people look different and that’s ok. Our differences are what make us beautiful. I’ve also ensured that she’s around kids her age that are of different races.

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TV shows with a diverse cast can also be helpful. My 3yr old loves Vampirina - lots of opportunity to subtly discuss and celebrate diversity among both the humans and ‘monsters’ :slight_smile:

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We’re all like color crayons, different colors but all do the same thing with the same purpose.

They are way to young to understand what is going on in the world. And most importantly too young to even know adult issues like that. I understand explaining to them their own race since the child asked. But I wouldn’t even begin to talk about the issue of racism. Tell them they are white and teach them about other races. Teach them there is nothing wrong with other races and they are just the same as you. Having friends that are of different races will be great for your kids to grow up with. Make it a positive conversation. Idk if you are religious but I explain to my children that god created us all and to love and treat everyone the same.

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