My father is a volunteer firefighter. And works in a factory as well. For as long as I can remember, he has been quite a large man. Over the last ten years now, he’s gotten bigger than he has ever been before. Heart problems run in his family, and I’m starting to really worry about him. He is the only early 40s, and we’ve never had an extremely close relationship. His wife is also on the heavier side. I’m having trouble figuring out the best way to have a conversation with him about how concerned I really am, and I want him to make a change in his life. I want my father in my life for a long time, but I don’t want to ruin the already fragile relationship we have, and I don’t want to offend him. I’m willing to help in any way I can, even living an hour and a half away — any advice as to how best approach this situation would be extremely appreciated.
Invite him to walk WITH YOU or to the gym WITH YOU ,etc.cant be OFFENDED if it means time together (I’m overweight and my youngest goes to the gym WITH me ,feels good vs feeling attacked about weight )
Just flat out tell him…how can he save someone elses life when he needs to save his own
You’re so sweet. Did u say ur dad is in his early 40’s? … maybe you could see if he’ll join a gym with (I didn’t look at ur profile, I’m noit calling u over weight). I think Planet Fitness is only like $10 a month
It’s called tough love. Either speak your mind or keep shut.
Maybe invite him to go walking with you so you can spend more time together. Tell him one of your friends just lost her father and losing him is one of your worst fears and you want more tim together. Invite him over for healthy meals. If you think his wife could talk to him, go through her.
Speak your mind. Even though people will only change if they want to, he needs to know how you feel. I had to do the same thing with my mom. She is 50 and weighs over 300. It’s called tough love for a reason.
Maybe do it without bringing up weight. Call and ask medical history for his side of the family. Say its for filling out forms for your Dr. Maybe just having it all on his mind will help him realize he needs to make some changes. If not its a good segue to bringing up his health.
Yeah, fat people know they’re fat & don’t need to be told. It’s not what you’re eating, it’s what’s eating you. Ask him what his fears are & how he copes. Then you can segue into your fear of losing him.
My dad passed away at 47 from the same issues… I tried to talk to him and it never worked… but maybe try to do things with him and make sure he gets moving and eat healthier as a whole family
Try to build a more secure relationship with him and tell him that you are concerned for his health and his ability to do firefighting and save lives. But, most of all you want him to save his own life by becoming healthy. Ask him to walk with you and talk about how you want him to be around for a long time.
You can talk until your blue in the face. You can pull out stats galore. None of it will matter unless your dad is open to making changes
maybe giving him s purpose like spending time at the station helping out with things he can
Tell him what you just told us. You are worried and want him to be with you forever. Say you’d like to talk to him, and say it just like you said it to us. Go for it!
Just sit down with him and say ‘dad I know we aren’t close and I would like us get closer but I’m worried we won’t be able to as tbh dad I’m worried about your health, please don’t take offense, I just want my daddy around for as long as possible, I love you daddy.’
Just tell him how much i love him and want to have him for long time. That should do it, if he care.
Just don’t. Appreciate him for who he is and don’t try to parent him. You never know, it could be an accident or anything else that kills him. Spend time with him that you have now.
My husband is also a volunteer firefighter. I was lucky that he realized his health needed to improve on his own. However, you could start a conversation about you seeing an article about a young firefighter having a heart attack (there are quite a few of then). Tell him you were concerned after reading about it and see what he says. It’s difficult to have that conversation if they are not ready to face it themselves, though. But you’ll know what to say when you sit down with him.
Maybe asked if he will join a gym with his wife! And you can pay for the membership but do a trial one first!
Tell him what you just said at the end… ask him to sit down, have a conversation, be honest, be kind.