How can I tell my boyfriend that he makes me feel unattractive?

I have caught my boyfriend of 5 years playing with himself every day to girls on the internet; we have a premature baby that was very ill when in the hospital she is now just turned one and still not 100% ok. I feel so insecure about my body as it is, and this has pushed me to where I don’t even get changed or shower around him now; we have sex but not as much as we used to, but he doesn’t show me or tell me he loves me, he doesn’t even kiss me before he leaves for work. What can I do or say? It feels like he doesn’t care for me anymore; all I do is cry because all I think about is him cheating on me.


Talk to him. Communication is everything.


Well you need to talk to him it’s the only way he will know what’s going on you can’t just feel some type of way and not let him now exactly how you are feeling


Your best option is to just explain how you feel. Ask him to sit down and have a serious talk with you. Tell him beforehand that you aren’t attacking him and also aren’t blaming him. You just want to communicate to see if there’s any way to fix an issue between you two. Don’t yell at him. Ask him to not yell at you either. This is obviously very hurtful to you and it needs to be addressed or it will continue to stay with you and cause issues in your relationship. Address it now. And also Decide if this is something you want in your relationship if he reacts in a bad way. If he reacts badly, it probably best to consider if that kind of behavior is worth continuing the relationship


Literally everything you just posted. If you don’t tell them how you feel how will they know? Now if he doesn’t change it’s better to be single parent than to live a miserable life


definately talk with him about it… it could be a mental or emotional situation about himself that he needs to work through. you wont know what’s really going on until you guys talk about it. I’m a single mom with 2 special needs teenagers and I know that alone is stressful with your daughter. I wish you all the luck in straightening this out, and know that if it doesnt work out how you have in mind that you made the effort on your end. good luck, and I wish you the best on your daughters health and happiness.:two_hearts:

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Talk to him, but ultimately if you’re not loving yourself, it won’t matter what he does. Stay in touch with yourself and what you like, don’t get so caught up in being a new mom that you lose yourself trying to meet the expectations of others. Play your music, dance, sing… be someone you’d love to be around and then his opinion won’t matter because it’s his loss.
That’s the key, self love


He seems addicted to porn.


Tell him, in a calm way, how dejected you feel, that he seems to be more interested in internet porn, than you and his family. Communicate that you really love him, and want to meet his needs, and yours. Then give him a safe space to talk about his feelings. Holding your feelings in will only make you more resentful and miserable.

Believe what your gut feels girl . Ask him

Communication is key.

Also, maybe taking care of your hygiene again may improve his attraction to you?

If it’s such a hassle I’d suggest therapy or counseling for YOURSELF. You must love yourself too!

Good luck mama!


Sounds like he’s probably addicted to porn and just you know with himself my partner had also gone through that and has taken us a lot of talking and other things to get through it it got bad to the point he’d just hide in the toilet for hours pretending to be “ crapping” just communicate consistently

Aw you poor thing. I’ve gone through this. I’ve made it clear in my now relationship that getting off to other women to me is now cheating and I don’t allow that in my relationship. I’ve set my boundaries. I can only hope they respect them. I believe porn or other things like social media with that nasty stuff, leads to a bad relationship because sex will become just sex, it will become an addiction, I believe it stops people from having good sex or sex all together. Just from my expieriences. It has ruined relationships because my boyfriend’s have chosen to lie to me about it and then eventually has made me believe it has lead to cheating. They would get off to people they know who dress half naked on social media. All that stuff. It’s sad and disgusting and I don’t like it. I hope he changes and doesn’t lie to you because I’m sure if he saw you getting off to someone super sexy, he would be upset. Just like they all would be.


Porn is an addiction to most people and I hope you can talk to him and he communicates and understands it’s causes problems in relationships. He will get the same high every time he does that stuff and he will want more and more and that’s why it becomes so hard to quit.

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I agree with everyone who says talk communication is key to a good relationship.

But now I’m going to try to give you some body confidence. You gave birth to a baby! A perfect little baby, whatever about your body you don’t like now you need to relook at and think how amazing your body is to have made your perfect baby. Your body is beautiful and amazing and has just done the best job in the world making you a mom. Strech marks? Just proof of an amazing job well done. Flabby skin? Thats just where you kept your baby safe from harm. You are beautiful, you done something amazing, be proud and love Yourself!


Communication is key

Get screened for post partum depression. Start therapy to work on your self esteem. You are an amazing mom that went through stress & trauma to birth your incredible baby, who requires more work than most, leading to exhaustion, anxiety and more, and now your partner is checking out on you.

Your man has an addiction that has nothing to do with you or how attractive you are (and I’m sure you are real and beautiful). It’s just like drugs are a junkie’s #1 priority or an alcoholic’s next drink all the time, and everything else kind of falls away. You have to talk to your man & encourage him to get into therapy (to address root causes) & support groups for his addiction. Can you limit sites on the home computer or change the WiFi password to limit his access?

If he can’t loosen his grip on his nasty habit, build a bigger support system and plan your exit. If he continues to disappear into porn sites he’s not there for you anyway. If he is willing to work on himself, encourage him and know he may relapse, so be prepared. Addiction is tough to break & can be a lifelong struggle. If you do separate, talk to a lawyer about conditions for custody and visitation given his addiction.

Rooting for you and know you are amazing and deserve every happiness. I hope you get the wonderful life you deserve. And congratulations on your little one! :sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart::sparkling_heart:

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You need to worry about you. Yoh need to bathe and take care of yourself. Would you want to be around someone who does not bathe or dress ?


Communication is the key

Some of you completely read this wrong lol she’s saying she won’t get dressed or shower in front of him cause she doesn’t feel confident to be naked in front of him , not that she doesn’t shower :joy: