How do I approach my hubby bout his mom not moving in just yet? I told him when we BUY a house, not renting one. We’re looking for another rental, and my hubby and kids keep saying when grandma moves in, I’m like, hold up, that’s not happening yet. I know my hubby wants his mom with us too, but I’m not ready for that. At one point, she did live with us to find a place, but she kept prolonging it, and she was so messy. I was a SAHM at that time, and she just expected me to clean up after her. She left trash and cans everywhere, slept all day, and took over the living room and our bathroom. At one point, she expected to cook for her. One night I didn’t cook, she waited all day till dinner to eat when my man came home, she told my husband “son I’m hungry,” and he said “mom there’s plenty of pasta, noodles, stuff for sandwiches” and she said “oh well I’m not that hungry” and sat back til I made something for the kids. I just have a feeling its gonna be like that again I feel like she can be on her own a bit longer; she’s renting a room from a close friend, shes in her 50s, still dating and gets around just fine.
If she is getting around just fine, why does your hubby want her moving in? Talk about a momma’s boy. I’d tell him straight up No. They do offer houses that have “Mother in Law” suites. Basically, a little house located on your property. Have you thought about that? That way she is with her son, but not in y’all’s house? Regardless, it’s time for your hubby to leave his mother’s nest it sounds like.
Show him this post. Say I love you and I love your mom, but Im not willing to live with her. At 50 something, she should be able to take care of herself if she can still get around. Just be straightforward. If she moves in anyway, give up cleaning and cooking and let him do it. You can also say that you will be taking a job outside of the home if she comes to live there and he can figure out how to pay for daycare. Living with your own mom is extremely hard. Could not imagine living with anyone else’s!
In her 50s… unless she has a medical reason why would she live with you?? Money problems??
One way is to have a house with in law suite…that way she is there but has her own space, kitchen, bathroom
I would never agree to live with somebody like that unless clear ground rules were set up and agreed to first. Also I would not give her food I cooked for my children unless she was helping pay for said food.
Uh-uh NOPE! Hell to the no! Let that lady can continue being where she’s out. Keep her out of your home.
I just went through this very thing. Circumstances were just a bit different but I feel you on everything else. Now my mother in law doesn’t like her new apartment and keeps refusing to pay her rent… trying to get a reason to come move back in. I’m not ready for all of that yet either. I love her but same exact thing with the messes and cooking. I however don’t have an answer to how to tell your husband because I myself am facing the same dilemma with how to say that very thing to my husband. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.
Be honest and tell him how you feel, or you’ll end up living with her sooner than you want. Show him this post. Honesty is best for these situations
Be up front and honest. Tell him you feel, if it goes the same way it will cause resentment due to takeing care of another person. Espically a 50 year old fully capable adult.
I am Serious about my peace and privacy .
Being a mother is hard enough without adding inlaws living in your home. That can be stressful in the best of relationships.
I’d only even consider it if she was in her own inlaw suit off the house.
If she’s in her 50’s and still dating what is the reason she would have to live with you? I would stay firm on saying NO
Yeah no if she’s capable an able there’s no reason she should be living with you guys interupting your life, we got out of my man’s mom’s worst living experience of my life an she will never live with us again
Plain and simple— the agreement was when y’all buy a house, y’all didn’t buy the house yet so she’s not moving in. Also make it clear to her and your husband that when she moves in she’s getting a room she has to cook and clean for her self.
That’s a hell no from me.
Be up front about it before she moves in.
I’d never allow it unless she needed personal care or assistance. I may be mean but that takes a lot out of a person and a relationship to bring anyone else into the home.
Learn how to say NO!
No reason for her to move in if she’s in her 50s and capable of looking after herself. Tell her to get her own place. No way… You have your own life and kids and he shouldn’t be putting that burden on his family
What in the actual fuck lol
No fucking way. If she was elderly and needed your help or was helpful then sure but she sounds awful
I would not want someone living in with my guy and I, unless a written agreement is drawn up that includes how much they will pay towards bills, but be fair about the amount, if you and your husband have 2 kids, you are a family of 4, she would turn it into 5 in the house so she should be responsible for 1/5 of rent, heating, cable, net, and all utilities as well as groceries, it should be made clear in writing she is expected to clean up after herself, and either provide for her own food or take turns cooking and pitch in for food. I would also make it clear if overnight visitors are welcome or not, every little thing should be in writing signed by you, your husband and her, with a witness who has no interest in the matter.