How can I tell my husband I need more help around the house?

Lately, the stress of motherhood and just life has been getting to me so badly. I cry almost every day. I feel like the majority of the household is on my shoulders. I work full time from home. My one-year-old son is here with me for about half of my workweek. I’m in school also. All the cooking, cleaning, laundry, doctor appointments, and making sure the bills get paid are all my responsibility. My boyfriend leaves at 6 am for work and are often not back until 6 pm. I don’t know if I should talk to him about pulling more weight or not. In the past I’ve tried and it’s not gone well. I don’t want to waste my time and make him mad and make things harder. I know he has long days too so i don’t want to make it seem like he doesn’t work hard. But he has never washed any of our sons laundry, even though he does his own laundry every Sunday. He never helps with dishes or any cleaning. He takes out the trash and cuts the grass. That’s about it and he hasn’t even been doing that lately. He gives me money for his half of the bills but they are all in my name and I have to make sure they get paid. I personally think he needs to grow up but I’m the worst communicator ever. How do i tell him how I feel and ask for more help without him just storming off? This makes him sound horrible but he’s a great partner to me! Just has some things to work on.

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Men don’t seem to do well with telling them what to do. From experience, it’s just how you ask. Speak up and say you need help! You have to work as a team, or eventually you will get to a breaking point. Communication is key. Just word It correctly! Instead of I need you to do this, just voice it as would you mind to help with…or I’m really overwhelmed and I appreciate you but would you help me out with some chores around the house it would mean a lot.

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Man up and tell him or grow a set and dump his ass problem solved

I have to tell mine exactly what I want him to do, kindly. I can’t just say I need you to help out more because for whatever reason it just doesn’t work. If I want the trash taken out I say babe can you please take the trash out, can you help me out with the dishes, can you take the laundry out the dryer etc…and he’ll do it :woman_shrugging:t4: So that’s just what I do now lol

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My husband does not tolerate nagging or crying at all. Always ends in a fight. Simply ask (respectfully and kindly) if he has time to do (a load of laundry, vacuum, dishes…). Having some dramatic talk is gonna make him feel like he’s “in trouble” and he’ll shut down. Instead of saying “I need more help around here” (vague and confusing if you aren’t g familiar with daily housework), tell him specifically what YOU do to keep the house and family running and then ask him if he can pick up some of those things :wink:

Hire a cleaner and ask him to pay half, if he asks why say your not coping well with having to everything by yourself and you need the help

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This sounds about like my husband and I. I make sure earthing is paid we both work full time. I do most of the cooking unless it’s something on the grill he always does trash and lawn. We both shovel in the winter. I pay the big bills he pays daycare. He does do the dishes when I ask him to and sometimes he does his laundry if I don’t get to his work clothes. But!.. my husband is amazing with our 4 kids he plays with them when he gets home around 8pm until he puts them to bed he always puts them to bed. He takes them to daycare I pick them up. If you want his help maybe have him do dinner on Tuesdays and Thursdays or he does the dishes just pick maybe days of the week or have him do like the night time routine. It works well for us. Gives me 5 minutes to sit down and him time to bond with the kids

“Listen here MfF’ER, I need some damn help, please.”

OMG I can’t believe what I’m reading including the answers 🤷🤦 I’ll come back later hoping for someone reasonable to say something :exploding_head:

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I suggest instead of confronting him just don’t do the extra chores and when he asks why they’re not done just say I haven’t had time to get to them, I could use some help if you wouldn’t mind. you shouldn’t feel like you have to take on all the extra responsibilities because he doesn’t. If he’s not willing to do them or to help out more then it’s unfortunate and you’ll get to it when you get to it

Tell him you can’t do it all …if that doesn’t work …tell him you’re not his maid .

Have an adult conversation. Express your feelings. Listen to his.:woman_facepalming:

Of course talk to him thats what a partnership is give and take you will burn out

I would have a talk with him, he might not realize how overwhelmed you feel.

I just tell him what I need and want. my husband is very understanding. Although he really helps me around but he knows when I need a break from our kids. I’m a stay at home mom to our 2 children 3 & 5, and I’m due in dec on our 3rd.

This subject pisses me off!! If you’re an adult and you have a roof over your head CLEAN UP AFTER YOURSELF AND HELP OUT WITH THE BIGGER CHORES!!! Its not hard!

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Tell him you need his help, and a break from doing so much. Tell him you need him to do more household chores. Ask him to either do all of the laundry or do the dishes or even ask him to be in charge of putting all of the dishes away daily, to cook dinner or vacuum. If you give choices between two different chores guys will usually choose the one they are more willing to do.

Poor relationship developing here. Watch out!

Ffs. If you can’t act like a grown up and have a grown up conversation with your partner, you shouldn’t even be entertaining a relationship. If you can even call it that. :roll_eyes: And he needs to grow tf up too.

I too had this issue with my fiance it took a while lot of bickering and nagging but honestly he wised up and started seeing he could help more i dont know if he just grew up more matured more or what made him snap into it but this year has been amazing he helps so much now with kids homework chores even things i never in a million years would have thought he would do! Just keep telling him how you feel dont nag and fight but you do need to express your feelings maybe he too will grow! Maybe men mature slower honestly

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