How can I tell my SO I am pregnant when he isn't ready?

I am a mom to two babies, 8 and 1 yo. My partner and I have had a rough year, but we are doing okay. He is facing legal trouble; he is an addict but now sober and went to rehab, so he is just trying to get back to work. He doesn’t want anymore children, and I do. We spoke about doing it “right” in the future and planning our last one so we can be excited and enjoy every minute. welp, surprise. I am pregnant. I’m not sad at all. I know I have a few things to figure out, and my youngest is only one; that’s the only thing that makes me nervous. When I told him I wanted to talk to him, the first thing he said is “oh God. you better not be pregnant. we cannot have a baby right now.” so I didn’t even say anything to him. Now I’m kind of upset because I feel like I don’t have a supportive partner at all, and I really wanted to be happy. So now I feel super alone. How would y’all go about telling him? just rip off the band-aid? I feel like if he tries to tell me to terminate the baby, our relationship will be over because that will not be happening.


Honestly, I think telling him sooner than later is better. Let him know, react & go from there.

Also, it takes 2 to make a baby. So if he’s upset it’s half his fault you got pregnant :woman_shrugging:t3:


Maybe respect his requests because by the sound of it, he literally isn’t ready. All I can say is good luck because he will probably flip out. I know I would if the shoe was on the other foot


Do not give a guilt trip. He doesn’t want kids and you’re already pregnant so figure out if you can support the kids and your life on one income and then tell him you’re pregnant so he is at least aware of the situation.


You gotta tell him honey. Just rip off the bandaid.


Let him know your pregnant and be prepared to be a single mother.


I would definitely tell him soon and if hes upset which clearly he will be,try to be supportive of how he feels but stern that you will not terminate your baby.i guess you are going to have to go with your gut, and either terminate the baby which to me like you said will ruin the relationship because you will have guilt and resentment, or you guys get through this together, or you find a supportive partner…that would be happy to have a baby with you and own up to the consequence of ejaculating inside of you.good luck momma.everything will be okay either way.i hope you guys can work it out


It takes two to make a baby. It’s a blessing and you shouldn’t feel ashamed. You should be happy and not worried. He will get over it.


First off when he says hes not ready cause obviously he isn’t ready financially or mentally. Addiction whether sober or not is a every day battle. So you should have been understanding even if you were ready. You should tell him right away. He deserves to know. And maybe itll set him into motion to wanting better etc. Either way he deserves to know


You knew he wasn’t ready to have another baby and he was working on staying sober and you’re upset he’s not happy? It seems like you wanted another baby so you didn’t make sure you were preventing it from happening. I think that’s kind of a messed up thing to do when he clearly didn’t want a baby right now. I get that it takes two people but there are plenty of birth control options that would have given you guys some time and for him to work on fixing himself. Just tell him and see what happens, what’s done is done.


You should have considered his feelings. He told you he didn’t want another and you let it happen. Be ready to be single self-centered mom. Just dumb.


I have so many questions. Where y’all using protection? Both of you? I mean if he’s saying he didn’t want kids then he should’ve been wrapping it up or been under the impression you were on some sort of birth control. Also, while you may not be upset about the news, you can’t expect him to be excited when he’s been clear that he doesn’t want children. At the end of the day, YOU have the final say. Your body, your choice. But also consider that if you’re choosing to keep it while he doesn’t, you will likely have to do it on your own- without his support. He can’t force you to have an abortion but you also can’t force him to be a dad.


Tell him immediately n deal with his reaction when it comes. Maybe once he hears you say it he will have change of heart , either way he needs to know now. Good Luck hope everything works out for you guys!


Y’all are dumb sitting there being unsupportive and saying it’s her fault she got pregnant. Rude ass mofos. It takes two to make a baby. And she may have used protection and it may not have worked, that happens you know! Even if he isn’t ready to have a baby that’s not just on her that’s on him. He helped create the baby so when she tells him he shouldn’t freak out on her. He should get his shit together and help her get through it too.


It takes 2 people to make the decision to not use protection or try to prevent it. If he was so concerned then he could have bought condoms and been responsible. Ready or not your already pregnant so no need to wait. Just tell him. Good luck :purple_heart:


Last I checked it takes two to create a baby. Half of this was his doing as well. Not all pregnancies are planned or come at a ‘perfect’ timing. Just tell him and prepare for whatever his response may be.
P.s. I am so sorry for some comments shaming you, just keep moving forward & do whats best for your kids and yourself. :green_heart:


Show some compassion people. 1. Birth control doesn’t always work. 2. Condoms don’t always work. I got pregnant on birth control AND used a condom. It takes two to tango and things happen. Regardless he needs to know. Don’t assume the worst but also prepare yourself. But I think you guys will find a middle ground. Good luck sweetie


If this so called man wasn’t wanting more kids, HE could have made sure to prevent a pregnancy.


Sounds like he still has an addict mindset and needs to grow up he might just go back to his old habits I’d leave him and tell him we can work things out if he decides to stay sober figure out his life and want to be a dad then you can go from there but until then sounds like you will be a single mom even if you live together

1 Like

I think it’s a conversation that should be in person… I feel at first he’ll be confused, stressed, angry, sad and feeling down on himself, but as the pregnancy progresses he will accept it, be happy, try to do and be better, support you and once he sees the baby he will love them and be so excited and happy but still wondering how he’s gonna help support. Good luck mama :heart: