I’ve been with my spouse for over three years; we’ve had our issues since day one. However, we have gotten through them together. We now have an adorable four-month-old who is both of our priorities, however after having our child iv been extremely self-conscious, and iv tried talking to him about it, but it seems like he doesn’t understand or just doesn’t care… we haven’t had any sort of intercourse in well over seven months, he will literally play video games all day or play on his phone. We had our first weekend of just us since he’s gone back to work, and he literally hasn’t paid any attention to me; it’s been phone and video games… I have talked to him about it, but it doesn’t seem to get through his thick skull. I don’t think he’s having an affair or anything along those lines; I’m just tired of feeling like I’m not attractive in his eyes anymore. I’ve started working out while our child is napping throughout the day, so I get in 1.5hrs a day, and he doesn’t even realize it…Anyone have any tips or ideas for 1) attempting to bring up my self-esteem 2) another approach for the spouse to see how I’m feeling? Or anything really
Leave he’s got somebody else
talk to him about it, make him understand how you’re feeling. if he’s playing video games all day or playing on his phone, i hope he’s atleast being a good dad. don’t beat yourself up, it’s not your fault mama
What you need to figure out asap is if he doesn’t understand or doesn’t care as you mentioned. There is a world of difference. One is work it out vs. the other meaning walk away.
I would try couples counseling. If he’s not willing to go, go to a couple of single sessions.
7month no sex…yea that doesnt happen hes getting it from somewhere js. And to boot not helping your self esteem hes your husband hes supposed to help you and make you feel like the best thing since sliced bread…I would say ultimatum counciling or leave it’s not going to get better the lack of effort and communication from his part isnt good.
Ask him if he wants sex with you?? Lol, put it right out there. Tell him u are interested. I know it’s silly but better to figure it out than to wonder
Either put up with it or dont. Your call.
My saying is that if he isn’t getting it from me, he’s getting it somewhere else. Could be just be porn and masturbation but no sex for 7 months is not normal. Maybe try counseling. I’m also suspicious as hell and will absolutely look through that all important phone if my husband isn’t paying attention to me and spending more time on his phone.
One thing about this page is: you will automatically get comments that he’s cheating over so many different issues.
Look a lot of people suck and cheat but not every single guy out there.
There are other issues that cause men not to have sex. He could be overwhelmed, in a state of deep depression, under immense stress, low testosterone, I mean I could literally go on and on. There are so many reasons a guy can lose their drive.
Not every guy is cheating because they aren’t having sex.
Have you tried seducing him?
Just gonna be honest here; it definately sounds like there’s an issue but there’s no telling what that issue is because we don’t know him or you.
I think at this point you need to talk to him. Tell him specifically what you want and need from him.
When you say you feel insecure some men interrupt that as you want to be left alone.
That’s part of the problem, there’s all kinds of advice out there but more and more frequently it’s tellin men to leave the woman alone unless she makes the move…otherwise they get told they’re doing something wrong.
Now having said that, only you know what all has gone on in the last 7 months.
Sit down and have a heart to heart.
Try counseling. If he won’t go then you still go. It’s healthy.
Make time for dates just the two of you. A new baby can be hard on any relationship. It’s a stressful yet amazing transition but it can be more difficult for men.
I say this…worry about you first. Do you have any interests? Find some support people who will talk you UP and start doing activities thst help your self esteem. Spend more time with friends & family. And if you see no or little effort on his part to interact with you as a partner, then let your support people help you move on from thst relationship. He sounds depressed also, but the lack of effort to fix things is what worries me. Don’t worry for now about him. You save yourself, and hopefully he’ll get out of the pool too before he drowns! Good luck!
Start by helping your self , your baby is only 4 months and for the last 13 months or so it’s only been about the baby. When you feel yourself again . If your a clothes /makeup/jewellery/dress up /dress down kinda a girl . You will start doing the small things that will make you feel better but it will take time and do it for you .And for the other part ,life gets in the way no matter what you do. But as you feel better in your self things will settle down and you have just got a new path in life to follow .
You need to get pretty and dolled up FOR YOURSELF learn to love urself for you . And once he sees you glowing with confidence and self love you will definitely draw his attention without even having to do a single thing.
Maybe try and find out if he’s depressed or not feeling himself too. It very well could be more about his feelings about him instead of his feelings about you.
First, get fit for yourself. Don’t try and improve yourself for anyone, you’ve just had a baby. Second, if his not willing to talk about what is going on between you then you really need to think if you want to stay and put up with that and whatever else, or start thinking how you can make a life for you and your baby xx
Men experience PPD too. Escaping into a fantasy game world would be preferable to all the negative thoughts and feelings that come with depression. Take him to therapy. Lay out an ultimatum if you have to. Get help or leave. Whatever it takes.
Maybe he,s found out that’s how u make babies,and he don’t want no more of them ,big responsibly and cost out of the butthole