How can we get custody of my step-son: The mother doesn't even realize we have him

so when my stepson is not with my husband and me, he stays with his grandma. (his mom’s mother) his mother barely goes to visit him, does not have him living with her, but she still receives child support that does not go to my stepson. (his grandma has informed us of all of the above, and we do believe her) We are both fed up. My husband and I both want full custody of my stepson, but we are unsure of where to start. Because it’s really just “our word against the mothers.” and we’d like to have more proof. So we have been keeping him for about a month now. He still goes to stay with his grandma but only every other weekend or if she wants to take him to a fair or to the movies or something like that. his mother has not called or asked about him and still does not know that we have been doing this. We’re basically seeing how long it takes her to realize that we have him living with us. And my husband said it would help when we do take her to court. The only time she texts my husband is to ask about child support. (he got a new job, and the child support got messed up, but we’re fixing it). It makes me really frustrated because I’m not sure what else we could do in this situation to help us get custody faster than waiting a couple of months to establish a routine with my stepson. So if anyone has any ideas I could share with my husband, we would appreciate it. My step son’s mother also doesn’t ever contact her mom (my stepson’s grandma) to ask about her son or even to see him. It’s very rare that she actually does see him, and it’s usually only around the holidays so she can take him around her husband’s family. And after the holidays he’s back to living with grandma. Also, we have joint custody if that wasn’t made clear.


Go to the court applied for emergency custody and get a court date they should have a self self help thing there that you could ask questions at the courthouse and it depends on what state you’re in if you apply for custody If the child is over the age of 12 the child can state where he wants to live or she wants to live need to make sure you document everything pictures have witnesses you have to frame your case very well when you go to court and whatever you do don’t bash the mother and always remember that it’s in the best interest of your child is how you answer a question


document everything. times, dates, record it all.


Get an attorney and file in the courts.


Get a good lawyer and document EVERYTHING, not just text interactions, but any sort of correlations to providing this consistent and stable environment for your stepson (better grades, etc). Your doing a good job so far Good luck.

1 Like

You need to speak to a lawyer

Go to court and file for emergency custody asap! Have the mom of stepsons mom write a note and get it notorized itll help


Does he go to school and where is he registered if he does. Get a lawyer and go to court.

Speak to a family court lawyer and check the laws in your state.

Document document document EVERYTHING times conversations dates everything!


Right now you can file an emergency order for custody, and nail her in grounds of abandonment.


Go talk to a lawyer in your state .Most lawyers will consult for free 30 minutes. On a seperate calendar keep record of everyday you have him and any events . Get Grandma on your side and ask her to write a note saying things about the child support and what Grandma thinks would be in the childs best intrest ,get it noterized (for court) . Your lawyer will guide you as to what to do next.Good luck !


Well I’d see if the Grandma would be willing to go to court with you. File for full custody and have child support abolished. If the child is not with her than she doesn’t need it.


Go to court apply for an emergency hearing n see also if her mom can back yall up on it if she told u guys more 5hen likely she may help him get fill custody

1 Like

Apply for emergency custody. See if possibly her mother will atleast write a letter go the court about the mother leaving him there and never being bothered with him

1 Like

You have to go back to court and prove that you’ve had him

1 Like

Document document, see if grandma would sign a statement as well and maybe have that notarized? Definitely lawyer up.

1 Like

Get a lawyer document EVERYTHING keep the txt messages have the grandma do a affidavit and you will win


Take a family selfie every morning and/or night just make it a fun thing. That would be picture evidence that he’s with you.

1 Like

Keep documentation courts love that…write or record what grandma say but dont day much to her she might start taking her daughters side again…get the school records that he attends school in grandmas district…dr records of who takes him to dr…ect.