How can we open a line of communication with my husbands ex?

My husband has a child from a previous relationship. We have talked, and my husband is all open to having a relationship with his child. The issue is the mother. They have a horrible relationship. What’s more confusing is she sent me a message for his birthday asking if I could tell him a happy birthday from his son.? I think it would be great if dad and son (whos like 16) could have a relationship. Also, he has siblings he has yet to meet. I just don’t know if I could help open communication


Dad and son. The kid is almost an adult… feeling confused, like did they have a relationship prior.?

I think that it’s sad after 16 years he finally just now wants a relationship… like really there are ways he could’ve seen his child should’ve taken her to court a long long time ago. If I was the child I wouldn’t want anything to do with him.


Yeah. After 16 years you can’t blame it all on the mom. He should have taken her to court years ago.


He’s open to having a relationship with his son only because you guys talked about it? :roll_eyes:I think at this point it’s not up to your husband at all anymore. :woman_facepalming:t4:


Sounds like he is a pos who wasn’t interested in the kid til now. If I was the mom I wouldn’t talk to either of you. Kid is 16 he knows his dad is a pos.


The kid is 16. He could’ve tried LONG before now so stop blaming it all on mom. He needs to accept his responsibility in the lack of a relationship too. If the son doesn’t want to have a relationship now, dad has to accept it. You can’t come into a life after all this time and expect it to be easy.


So he hasn’t bothered with his son in 16 years and it’s moms fault now because you talked him into having a relationship with his almost adult son…and again it’s moms fault how???

The issue is the mother…ok…open your eyes…the issue is your husband.


No, the issue is that your husband has chosen for 16 years to not have a relationship with his son and the fact that you are asking this question on his behalf, tells me that he still doesn’t want to have a relationship with his son.


He’s old enough to reach out. And the fact your husband isn’t fighting more shows a lot too sadly.


The kid probably has social media. Tell dad to message the kid direct!


Social media is a hell of a thing! Have the dad contact him via Facebook? YOU talk to the mother & give the dad’s number to her & the son & let it go from there.


I’m confused by the kid being 16 and him only just now wanting a relationship with him by the way you’ve worded things… I can understand the mother being an issue for the past 16yrs, But 16 can be classed as an adult when it comes to rentals and work so why can’t this kid reach out and msg his own dad from his own phone that I bet he has, instead of going through the mother? Honestly once my partners kids are 16 we will be in heaven being able to organise with them directly???

Lawyers, court. Bam done


I would say take her to court for visitation. But if he hasn’t been apart of his life yet I’m not sure if the courts will do it now. They would probably ask the son what he wants. Has he been involved these last 16 years? Maybe he can just suck it up and try to get along with the mother for the next two years until the son is 18 and able to make his own decisions.

If he just found out about him I would continue reaching out but dont push too much because he doesn’t know him as dad yet. If its been 16 years because he hasnt tried as a dad that leave the kid be, he will come to his dad if he wants to when hes 18.

The only way is too start find out what he likes and make a monthly father son date when they have started establishing a bond start adding him to outings with the family but still keep the one on ones also

Where does it say he’s not ever met the son?? Where does it state how long he’s been without contact?? Where does it say how old the siblings are?? Where does it say how long the ex and dad have been split up?? Where is any of them details for everyone to say he’s just now trying to know him after 16 years!!! I’m sorry am I missing something here???


Why would you marry a man who had kids he didn’t care for ? Please have some self respect


What’s sad is how many moms out there don’t understand the toll family court and fighting constantly for something that you shouldn’t even have to fight for (the right to be in your child’s life)- how much that takes out of person.

We don’t know the story prior. We know the kid is now 16 and they don’t have a relationship really.

Better late than never. If the father is a good man, he should be in the child’s life. Social media if he has. Or you can try and speak to the mom. Have one of your kids, if they’re old enough, find him if anything and message him. Go from there.