How can you get grown children to fend for themselves?

I have a daughter that passed away. I married a man with two children. I raised the children. One of the kids, now 22, brought his girlfriend over because she was kicked out and stayed in our home. They laid in bed, on their phones, and watched TV. Neither got jobs, or anything. The room was so bad that we got bugs and took us over $2000 to get them out. How do you get kids to fend for themselves and move on with life?

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Tell them to get the hell out. 22 and still not attempting to be an adult. Nah you adult enough to drag partners in here you’re old enough to help out with bills. Never mind the fact they’re trashing your home and apparently don’t care.

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Pack their belongings an change the locks.

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You make them get jobs and stuff. You tell them what they’re doing in your house. They are old enough to take care of themselves. If you and your husband aren’t making them do anything then why would they?!

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Cut the cord. Literally kick them out. Pack thier stuff and assist putting them out. If need be call local law enforcenent for an expedited fast assistance.

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Put them out change locks. We have one we are about to put out for the same reason. Hes grown I did my job. It’s time to grow up.

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Get a job or get out 🤷. That simple

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Make them get out. Or make it unbearable to live there. Chores. They have to have jobs. Deadlines. You’re just enabling them at this point.

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At that age??? Tell em to get tf out!

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I say you start with the job stuff, make them pay rent, and get super affectionate with your guy. The combination of uncomfortable and responsibility of paying rent anyway will help them go without too much distress in the family

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You have to legally evict if they’ve been there longer than 30 days since they’re adults and not children anymore

Kick then tf out show them tough love

Kick them out. They will not do for themselves if someone else is doing for them.

Id tell them they have one month to get a job and once they have that job they are to give you half their checks to put into savings for their own place.id also tell them they need to be helping clean the house and providing food or you will assign them one of your bills to pay.if they dont get a job in a month then tell them they need to leave.change the locks

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So this girl’s parents were so sick of her behavior, they put her out. To which you decided to take on this problem. But you can’t figure out where you went wrong? They fend for themselves by being given written 30 days notice and then put out.

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Your first mistake was to let them shack in your home.

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Throw their asses out. Tuff love!

It’s a lot easier when you prepare for it when they are younger and teach them to be responsible. At 16, ours got a job. We would give them 15.00 a week for gas to get them to school, but they were responsible for gas for their leisure activities. We would pay for their phone bill, but they had to pay a monthly payment for the device, since they always liked to have the most updated phone. We would provide them with make-up from wal-mart or target, but if they wanted make-up from Ulta they had to purchase it. And, absolutely no boyfriends/girlfriends allowed to sleep over at the house. Our older ones are now 21 and 22 and are, for the most part, already independent. They still live at home because they are in college, but still no boyfriends allowed to sleep-over.

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Start charging them rent

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Those are not kids. Those are adults. The question is “how do you get parents to stand up for themselves?”

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