I’m a first-time mom. Things didn’t work out with my baby’s father despite, as always, being promised unconditional support, love, etc. regarding our child. We don’t have contact anymore. He blocked me after I saw him leaving a bar with other women the same night I was told (and let him know) that our baby might be born prematurely due to stress and other pains. So, my question is, how do you stop thinking about what could have been? I’m trying to focus 100% on my baby now he’s born, and my well being. But it’s hard because I always wonder how things would be if he were still around with our child.
How old is baby now? Are you nursing. I’m hoping you’re like I was, and you realize it’s just the hormones talking.
Don’t focus on ‘what could have been’ and focus on the reality and what it actually is. Move on, worry about your child and yourself. He’s showed you his feelings, loud and clear. I wouldn’t give someone like that a second thought.
I know how you feel. I was there. But its not about you or that dumb asshole. Its about your baby. Focus on yourself and being the best mom you can be for ur baby. You’ll surprise yourself when you realize no one matters but yoir child. Good luck.
Things mite be ruff for you now … but they’re is always light at the end of the tunnel … I promise things will be better for you . It just takes time and you’ll forget about him
Well… I can answer this for you. If that’s what he did the same day- his priorities were already shown to you. The baby wouldn’t have changed his priorities. If you guys had stayed together you’d be worse off. Why? Because he’d still be doing the same shit - your stress levels would keep rising. You’d be a single mother with a roommate who doesn’t contribute- taking care of Way more than you should have to. Worry about you and your baby. He’s a grown man. He made his choices long before the little one was born and he obviously had no intention of changing his priorities. You are Better Off.
Get him for child support and call it a day. No sense in wasting energy on a loser like him. Be good to yourself and the babe
It’s not easy. Even when I divorced my ex husband (we have 2 kids together) I was completely committed to that divorce bc of circumstances. After the judge granted the divorce I looked at him and could only think to myself “where did we go wrong?” “Why did It become the way It did?”
This was years ago of course but before I married my current husband I often wondered. But it’ll fade. Work on you as a person and as a mom. This too shall pass.
Its hard to get stuck in the fantasy of what if…it causes a lot of depression and can be really tough. Im sorry for what you are going through. Xoxos
Is it easy no can it be done yes
I left and knowing I was prego 14 years later it was the best thing for me and my son
You deserve to be well loved. You deserve to be happy. It doesn’t sound like that man offered either of those things.
Fall in love with yourself again while taking good care of your baby.
And trust me, the right man will find you when you least expect it.
There is nothing for you in the past. Don’t even focus on the future m focus on the here and now because that’s all you can do anything about.
Ride the wave, let your thoughts out to a close family member or friend, write them out, and keep telling yourself you’re better off on your own than being with the wrong person its easier said than done but something great will come out of it and that something is your child. You got what matters the most now
I am going thru the same as far as “what could’ve been”. All i can say is that it didn’t work out for a reason and i try to rememeber the negative when i start to get sad about it. I mean, do we REALLY want a man who has shown us we don’t matter? As good as the good times were the negatives, even just one, is enough to remind us we deserve better. Focus on that and focus on the good in ur life. I know its hard and can feel lonely but we can get past these losers.
Think of him as a poisonous, deadly spider. Don’t you or your child go anywhere near him~mind, heart, body or soul.
I was 18 when I had my first child and his dad chose a different life for himself instead of being a dad. It was really hard at first because I was so young and wanted so badly for my son to have both parents raise him and stay together. It took me about a year to finally accept that it wasn’t going to happen and there was nothing I could do to make him be a dad. I just worked hard to give my son the best life I could by myself. I never looked back. I didn’t try to find him and didn’t even go for child support and it ended being the best decision I could have made for my son. If I would have tried to force him to be around he would have been in and out of my son’s life which is very hard on a child. My son is now 23 years old and finishing up a six year service in the army. He is a very handsome, smart young man and I am so proud of him. He has never met his biological father other than when he was an infant and it hasn’t stopped him from becoming a successful, good hearted human being. Evey situation is different but my advice would be to be patient with yourself and if you don’t get over it right away that’s ok. It will come in time but until then just love your child with everything you have and it will lead you both into a great life and the path you are meant to take. Years fly by and they grow up so fast and some day you will think back on this and it won’t mean shit. Good luck Mama.
Don’t let the hurt overshadow enjoying the last of your pregnancy and the baby. Even if you don’t feel like it, push yourself to do things you find some pleasure in. Shopping for little outfits etc, getting the clothes and baby things ready.
You will have other relationships in the future but you will never have this experience of your first child again, so use all your inner strength and mind to overcome the hurt and not let it overshadow this amazing experience.
You don’t want to look back and feel disappointed that it spoiled it for you. And set firm boundaries. You and the baby are all that matter now. He and his needs are not your concern or responsibility.
U can never go backwards it’s over there’s alit of could of be,s but move forward and never look back
You take one day at a time and remember that it’s ok to break down once in a while as ling as you keep picking yourself back up and keep moving forward… you can do anything as long as you have your kids…
Time heals . I’ve been through this . The longer it goes on the more grateful you’ll be he’s out of your life . He showed his true colors. And it’s no reflection on you . Be strong it’ll get better .