How do you help some who is bipolar? What can you, as a spouse, do for them? If after a huge fight that happens out of nowhere blew up into so much more. Where you called it quits so now there willing to get help … lost and don’t know what to think or do anymore. I know I could finally just walk away, but I don’t want to throw our 10-year marriage out the door so easy either I need advice.
Therapy is a great option
You dont fight with them first of all.
If they are not willing to do anything to help themselves and the problem then don’t waste your energy trying to fix it. You can’t help them until/unless they want to help themselves
As a person with bipolar, just some time and space helps us get back in our right mind.
Speaking as someone who has bi-polar, you have to want to get the help. If they don’t want help or can’t see what’s going on not much you can do.
I am bipolar and recently spent a week in the psych unit at our local hospital (low risk for depression and recovery mostly). I was so scared to check myself in but it has changed my life. Maybe see if the help works!
Maybe look into medicine? I’m bipolar & it doesn’t go away. Medicine has greatly helped.
Therapy, couples therapy, try to do 1 on 1 time.
1st off don’t fight back. Even if they try to bring you in, leave the situation. It has nothing to do with you, its them. Come back after a few once its out of their system.
Also don’t buy alcohol, quitting smoking helps & hide money/cards when in a manic state. Also limit junk food.
I am unmediated bipolar. I learned to deal with it on my own. When it gets bad I go to my room alone so i don’t say horrible things to hurt my family. Your spouse needs coping tools . Until that happens, not a damn thing you can do to help. Best of luck
Hi bi polar person here. Depends on what type they are. Therapy usually doesn’t help. You need to make an apt to get on a mood stabilizer. I’ve had years of therapy and when it comes to my bi polar episodes.it does nothing for me. I have coping skills a good support system and everything but the only thing that helped is my meds. And I have the less sever bi polar type 2. It’s not that we want to be like this it’s just sometimes you can’t control it. If he/she won’t get help. Leave. Because it won’t change.
They have to go talk to their doctor and get help. They have to be willing to help themselves. As a spouse, theres not that much u can do but be patient. But fights are going to happen…things will never be perfect…but your spouse needs to be the one to get up, and go seek help. You cant force them to do it. Bi polar is so hard, and if that person doesnt take the steps necessary to help themselves, then it wont ever happen.
Just be patient and let them have their breathing room when needed. But also, dont be a door mat and allow them to treat u bad and then blame their illness cause that’s not fair.
I have bipolar disorder in my immediate family. Its hard to give advice to be honest. I would try therapy to start, most definitely but it may not be something they stick to consistently so keep that in mind. Also try to avoid fighting with them. In the heat of a bad moment, walking away and not saying the shitty thing I wanna say helps more than anything. There will be a time when you can have the conversations that need to be had. Patience helps, realizing the extreme emotions often take over logic but whats said in anger isn’t often whats meant in reality. Its a rough road but its 100% doable
Meeting with a psychiatrist is a big step. Because then your spouse can be appropriately medicated and his life and your life can get easier by plateauing his changes a decent amount.
My sister is bipolar. After years of dragging her out of situations she put herself into, i gave up. She didnt take meds, didn’t do therapy.
At some point you have to walk away, for your own sanity.
Some times even if yu are willing they aren’t
I’m bipolar and I’m medicated . When I’m not medicated I’m a horrible person to tolerate. Hopefully your s/o is medicated. Dont give up just yet
Are they on meds and in therapy? If not they need to be. I suggest therapy for you as well as couples counseling
I wanted to start counseling for both of us together but he kept pushing us away. He destroyed himself and our relationship so I had no choice but to give up. Despite how much I didn’t want to. But you can’t help someone who doesn’t want to help themselves. Now I am just hoping we both can find happiness and he doesn’t lose his relationship with our kids.
She needs therapy and medicine that will keep her grounded. Most bipolar patients feel better and don’t feel they need their meds
I’m BP and bpd, I also used to say I’d get help when shit hit the fan but the help I needed was never the help I got so it never lasted. Try not to fight with them but also don’t let them win all the time or they’ll accept it as how it is and need it to stay that way. The key is to find the balance between avoiding arguments and understanding that in their head they can get very stressed very quickly and often can see very little mentally in that moment just a static TV screen buzzing while they feel so anxious or angry. Anxiety is a huge part of bpd though most have very outgoing personalities that are a front to hide the insecurities they need tendered to. We need routine but also need to break it often of our own accord
Medication was the worst for me, I could never find something that made it better that didn’t have huge side effects. Someone to talk to and help work through things they’ve allowed to become the norm will help though, They need to vent. Cognitive behavioural therapy has been a lifesaver for so many with BP, I just can’t stick to it right now with my schedule.
Some days, something as little as my undies not fitting exactly right right before we leave the house can set off my anxiety mixed with annoyance which turns into irritation that causes very easy arguments.