How did/do you cope with slowly fading long time friendships after starting your families? It seems like since starting my family who I thought were my long term friends have taken a large turn.
It happens. It is hard. Just accept it and try to find some mom friends.
I’m having the same problem
Same…I feel your struggle, but I’ve come the realization that it’s not worth my time and effort to hold onto a relationship thats only one sided. If they don’t see the value in you then don’t waste to time and energy fighting for someone who no longer fights for you.
You dont ever loose real friends and anyways your children become your very best friends
Well then they weren’t good friends the good ones stick around
Let’s be real, pretty much everybody walks away. Fuck em all. Get you a new friend that actually wants to talk to and hang out with a mom.
I just got over it! Learned if they were really my friends they would come over and hangout and whatever
You don’t lose your real friends. You may not see them as much but they are just a text or call away. Social media makes it so easy to stay in touch. I’m still friends with my high school girls after 25 years.
Life goes in stages. Single attracts single, like married attracts couples. Parents & families do group stuff but within the same childs age range. Once your single friends have kids theyll try to come back but again, your kids will be older.
Didn’t really have any to start with. All kids in high school were stuck up grade A bitches, I didn’t go back to school when I fell pregnant…
This will be the first of many friends you lose. But you also make so many new mom friends.
It happens and it sucks but you just have to realize who your true friends are… give it time and you’ll find some good mom friends. If you lose them they weren’t true friends to begin with no matter how long the “friendship” was.
I was the last one of my friends to have kids. And I didnt have any until most of my friends kids were about 8yrs old. I never stopped going over to see them and hang out. I had my single friends, but my friends with kids were my closest, longest friends. That’s true friendship. I moved out of state and had my own kids and its been hard to make new friends. Mostly because I’m just too tired when I have down time. But I do have a few mom friends from kids being in school and it’s a start. Mom life can get lonely. Just put yourself out there. Look for mommy groups, MOPS, make playdates and build a new mom life with new people.
There are Moms out there that are yearning for your friendship, too! When my son was born I went to playgroups multiple times a week, music classes and swimming lessons. It’s a bit awkward when you don’t know people but you will be able to make friends in no time. Good luck!
Look at it this way … you aren’t losing friends, you’re gaining a family. Friends who are truly good friends (and the only ones worth having) will stay friends thru thick and thin. You might not get together as often as you use to … you might spend more time on short phone calls in place of activities together, but they will still stay in touch. You will make better, long lasting friendships along the way with people who have more in common with you. You’re not losing anything, you’re just changing priorities in your life.
It might be your perception. Think about it. Have you focused on them when you talk or what’s new with you? Have you found ways to make yourself available to spend time with them, if you can’t that is fine you will never look back at your life and wish you spent less time with your child. So maybe you are less available to be invested in their life either. And that’s ok if they are long term friend, they will still be there
I had many friends, I was married and had a large family. I now live with my mom and my son and have zero friends. Things change but I have never felt stronger
My best friend and I drifted apart because I had my kids young. We talked everyday, hung out everyday, etc. up until I had my kids. She didn’t even wish them a happy birthday today or ask how they’re doing. It makes me glad we don’t talk anymore, I couldn’t ask for more than my kids. They’re more than enough & make me happier than anyone who I thought was my friend. Her and I were also different people though, so I give it that. Doesn’t bother me as much as it did at first. I moved on when I realized you eventually drift apart from friends, but it is important to focus on family and raising my kids to be the best they can be.
I’ve lost friends because of being a mom & I’ve Gained friends because of being a mom. At the end of the day my kids are more important than ANYONE
Just another chapter in your book…some will come and go…only a few will stay forever. Be happy to meet new friends in your next chapter