How did you get your sex drive back after having kids?

I had my 2nd baby six months ago. Not sure if it matters, but I’ll put via C section just in case. Anyways. Ever since, I have had 0 sex drive. I mean, not even a pinch. My partner and I have done it twice since. Once after I was cleared and once more maybe a week later. He is starting to worry that I don’t love him anymore as to him (not just sex), but anything affectionate wise is really important, whereas, for me, it isn’t. I’m not really sure what’s going on, but I just can’t. I don’t feel the want to do anything? Is that normal? I’ll also mention I work full time and then come home and take over from him, so he gets a break. Then usually on weekends, he will give me a break. I guess what I am trying to ask is, how did you mamas get that spark back? Thanks in advance for any advice.


I saw another mom say just do it even if your not in the mood and eventually it will come back


Are you on any type of birth control? Could be messing with you too

It’s understandable since you just had a baby AND you’re working full-time!! Sounds like you guys need a getaway where you can sleep and get romanticized


Some people don’t get the spark back. Some people can’t hardly get wet down there after having kids either. So saying “just do it til it feels good” really sounds odd :sweat_smile::sweat_smile::sweat_smile:


I have no sex drive during pregnancy , it’s like it vanished

I had no sex drive at all either and then when I went on birth control it came back for me

Sounds like yall need some time alone together. The grind of work and kids can be exhausting. Just a shower together or a movie night without the baby or even when the baby is a sleeping could help. You need the emotional/mental attraction back to get the physical attraction back


What your feeling is normal, you had a baby 6months ago, and you work. Your body will get it back, in good time. Sadly no time limit. I’ve had 5 kids, youngest just turned 2 and I’m loving it. It did take time coming back, and I was more ready then my body at the start. Hang in their hun, its OK.

same with me had baby 8 months ago just don’t feel interested at all

It could be hormones as they rush back to normal. Maybe go to your dr and let them know. It could be an issue, at least, they usually have some answers for you.

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I am in the exact same boat and I have no idea what to do about it either as my partner also is starting to think I dont love him anymore

Sounds like the two of your are trying to share responsibilities which is good. But I’m having this issue now being pregnant because he is so affectionate and well rn I just want to be left alone and not be touched. It hurts his feelings. Try going on dates if you can and start bonding maybe that will spark it again or honestly just do it a little at a time. Foreplay here some mutal masturbation there and maybe that will kick start it.


Maybe talk to your doctor or do a little research and see what’s available otc or by prescription to help?

Post partum depression did this to me after my first. I was just numb to feelings and affection wasnt a huge thing to me. It’s not like I was sad all the time but I just went through numbing emotions, over exhaustion and becoming a new mom. I ended up having PPD and hormone imbalance. It took a while to regulate and as soon as it did I got my sex drive full swing. Your hormones can take anywhere from weeks to months to get regulated again. I suggest talking to your doctor, check for ppd as it can show in many forms not just crying all the time and disconnection from your child it can actually show in disconnection from people, things u used to enjoy etc. And plan a nice dinner date with just you and your hubby where u get something sexy on, do your hair, wear a sexy outfit under your going out outfit get a couple drinks in you two and light that spark back up. But visit your doctor first love. Some times it takes longer than others to get back to normal.


Right there with you mama my baby is now 2 though and still at a loss but it may be hormonal imbalance for us its really hard to say

I had my last child in August 2018, my sex drive came back in full force 3 weeks later. Everything was great. Then I had my tubes tied in January 2019 and since then its gone, I mean 0. I want nothing to do with it. When I do just do it to make him happy, he can tell I’m not into it and it hurts. I have no advise since I am in the same boat. Im sorry mama, I wish I knew what to do also :pensive:

I would say this might be something to bring up to your doctors as having a baby can mess with hormones but even the slightest depression can as well as loss of sleep or less quality of sleep associated with having a new baby in the house

Read The Forth Trimester, it has a lot of good advice about basically owning it while postpartum and empowerment after birth.
I just had my son a month ago and my relationship hasn’t been the most empowering with his dad…but this book has helped me navigate through things and educate myself more on understanding my feelings during this post partum stage.

Hopefully this helps :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

There is a part in the book specifically about sex and sexuality, which sheds a different light on sex and sexuality after birth.

Are you on birth control by chance? I had the implant and after the 3 years was up after having my second, i had it taken out to give my body a break( 11 years of birth control or being pregnant) and i found that my drive went WAY up after that. Hubs actually had a hard time of keeping up with me.