I’ve been with my SO for almost seven years. We have three little ones. We’ve had our ups and downs; I caught him making plans to cheat on me with men twice. The second time, I was ready to leave. I told my mom, my grandparents were already on the way to get my two kids and me at the time to spend Easter with them, but when the time came to confront him, I just couldn’t break it off. We ended up moving closer to my family after that, and he hates it here. All he talks about it moving back to where we were. I’ve told him how I feel about it, but still, all I hear is that he wants to move. It makes me nervous for obvious reasons, what if something happens again, now we have three kids, just a lot. He’s not a bad guy; he works hard so I can stay home with the kids. We get along great. It’s just these last few months I just feel like I’m settling. He’s not the father I hoped he would be, not the partner I hoped he would be. Again not bad, just mediocre. My family never liked him much, even before the cheating thing. They’ve mostly come around, but my mom still is not a fan. I just really don’t know what to do. It’s not that I don’t love him; I just feel like there could be better. Idk. I don’t have anyone to talk to about it.
Have you tried sitting down, just you and him, kids away or asleep and have a heart you heart and tell him flat out, how you feel about all of this?
With men? Maybe he’s so unhappy because he’s gay. It sounds like he needs to be given the time and space to figure out what he really wants. As hard as it is you might have to be the one that pushes him to do it. If my partner was making plans to cheat with another man I wouldn’t want him to have to stay with me when I’m a woman. He sounds confused
Umm with men! I’d definitely leave! No questions asked
I left when he got violent, and took off with baby, hard part was staying away, but I did, I didnt want my son growing up thinking that’s how you treat your partner, or that’s an acceptable way to act, was yelling and frustration and lack of communication, which was getting worse, not better, no matter how hard I tried to make it better, as soon as I left, I realised how much Happier I was away from him, and how bad it actually was, now he has a super happy mum and sees his dad once a week. Best for him, he will grow up having two loving happy parents.
Honey, he’s into men. If he hasn’t already cheated, he will. So if you aren’t into an open relationship save yourself and those babies the heartache and let that man go.
Look I get a lot of people stay with cheaters out of convenience BUT living with emotional pain, trust issues, depression, and setting a horrible example for your children is NOT convenient
He wanted to cheat. And with men. Two fire red flags. What more do you need? He’s not vested in you. Move on. Let him do him.
You can’t give him what he wants. I’d be done.
He wants to be with men. He is gay or he is bisexual. Sounds like he is very confused on what he wants right now. I think you need to move on.
With men? Well honey he’s probably gay move on.
I would of Left the first time around… He Was looking to Cheat twice! I would of been Gone the first time wouldn’t of gave him to think of cheating the second Time…
he Wants to cheat with men… Have u Asked him Why Men? Maybe he is Gay or Bi! neither Way he wants a man attention…
dont Give him a 3rd time To Look or think about it Leave…
The first thing I’m going to address is the mediocre part. That’s life. No on and I do mean no one is going to he perfect.
That isn’t the way that relationships work. My husband to me is amazing but theres always things he could do better. In all fairness theres plenty of things I could do better too. Unfortunately we’re all just human.
Now. For the cheating and wanting to move…
He sounds…confused and conflicted.
I understand being angry with him but after 7 years he deserves a heart to heart talk. He deserves to have his feelings heard. That doesnt mean you have to agree to move but it means you really hear him and try to empathize with him.
When they cheat or make plans to cheat it’s time to go. He may have love for you but he’s not in love with you if he can cheat on you
I left when I recognized that if I wouldn’t want it to happen to my daughter I wasn’t going to let it continue to happen to me. You’re someone’s girl and deserve love, respect, and honesty
Sometimes gay men marry because they try to live normal lives and try to hide there true self. Talk to him . Be amicable. It does not have to be a fight or a horrific horror story. Yes it will hurt like hell ! But you and him and the kids all deserve to be happy!
Let him still be a daddy !
I’m not staying with any known gay
Buy a strap on. Maybe he needs something different
As much as it hurts… you probably neeed to have a true deep talk, he probably needs the space and time to think about stuff as well… no matter what, you guys are family forever, bounded and tied by babies together sometimes things just aren’t meant to be… and that’s ok, you will be okay!
You’re settling. Are you and him even friends? If its the finances you are worried about sit down and both make a plan to allow you the time you need to get a job and stand on your own 2 feet. Work out arrangements for custody of the kids. Make this timebound, 6 mos, 9 mos a year - whatever it takes. Be transparent with each other. Divide your stuff, get the divorce and go your separate ways. No cussing, no fussing, no ill will and your kids get to see 2 adults who love them doing what needs to be done for everyone to be happier when its all done.