I have been married now for six years as of November 14. My husband just left me this Sunday, and today is now Thursday. He had not messaged me whatsoever about his child until Tuesday around 12 o’clock. And still, to this day, he has not asked about her since then. I am very sure that he is cheating on me or talking to another woman. Because the last time he just decided to leave was when he told me three years ago that he had been cheating on me. He told me he didn’t love me anymore. And he was texting another person at that time. . . I am very sure I am not taking him back this time. But this still hurts because I truly love my husband. But I have to remain strong, and I have to keep thinking of the wrong he’s done so I won’t take him back. . . My daughter is five years old. My daughter hasn’t asked about her dad at all. But she does catch me crying. I don’t mention why I’m crying because I don’t know if she’ll fully understand what’s going on. When her father was at home, he wasn’t very present with our daughter or with me. He kept to himself a lot. So it makes sense why she’s not asking about him. She did say he was on a trip last night, and I never said anything like that, and she’s with me 24/7. I’m not perfect; I am human and I have flaws. I don’t want to cry over the fact that I was left by my husband but I do cry. If she catches me crying again what do I say?
Just tell her that mommy isn’t feeling right and sometimes crying helps get those feelings out. If she asks about her dad, just tell her that he went away for a while but whenever he’s done doing what he needs to do, he’ll come see her. Don’t be the mom that trash talks the dad, even as she gets older and starts to understand. Just try to move on the best you can and show her all the love in the world, even if the dad doesn’t always show up for her. You don’t have to make excuses for him but don’t trash talk him either. Just redirect her attention if she does start asking.
Tell her you just have a soare eye she’s only 5
You can still love him but not be in love with him please don’t take him back he is using you and your beautiful children you deserve to be treated like Queen’s
Just say they are happy tears for the love she brings you.
Time to call a good counselor for you both. 5 year olds are very bright and aware. It can be very harmful to tell her something other than what she knows is happening. She needs to have at least one parent she can trust and count on. Get some good help ti guide you both through
I am sorry you are hurting. You must be strong for your child. I wouldnt take him back either. No need to inform the child of adult decisions. I would stick to dad has some things he needed to take care of. Give her lots of love!!! Xxxooo
Tell her the truth , in the most simplistic way possible, she doesnt need details, however in the future she will look back at this time as a turning point in her life… letting him go is gonna be the hardest thing youve ever done, but look into your daughters eyes and vag up this will shape the way your daughter defines her relationships, her daddy will always be her daddy , but if she watches you surrender your self respect she will either follow suit or resent you…be the person you want her to be and hopefully exceed…she will make you stronger than you ever thought you were capable… its alot easier to fight for your child than yourself, not even a second thought… sad but true, use that empowerment to your advantage… sidenote never disrespect or down talk your ex ever, he is part of who she is… she will figure it out on her own
tell your child the truth.
I was 5 when my father left my mom and I. I remember it.
I was glad she told me right out instead of tryin to spare my feelings.
I used to wait for him to get home. he didnt xome back for years.
I honestly would tell her… but keep it simple… something like me and dad are going to not be together anymore… we both love you and we care about eachother but sometimes people just don’t get along… use simple terms that are not negative towards either parent… explain you are sad but that the tears help you feel better. Hugs mama… divorce is hard but stay strong for her…
I’m in a similar situation and my daughter is 5. While waiting for our Separation agreement to be final my soon to be ex husband slept on the couch he ripped a blanket that my children and I use to watch movies together. The day he left my 5 year old just knew. For the next week every day she would demand that I fix the blanket so daddy would be happy and come back.
I was trying to hold myself together he left not just me but he told me he didn’t want to be a father anymore. 16 years married. Everyone including my lawyer believes he has someone else because he rushed to get a separation and the way he behaved it was obvious. Here was my 5 yr old screaming/crying at me to fix this blanket…so I sat down with her and started the lengthy process of sewing by hand this blanket. The irony wasn’t lost on me…there I was trying to fix something I didn’t break…i changed the narrative and told my eldest two along with my youngest that this blanket represents us…the blanket won’t ever be the same it will always have that scar…but this time I will sew it in such a manner that it will be stronger than it was before. I’m still sewing this blanket its a routine that my youngest and I have…when we are done and he is still not here…i hope she will understand…it will be sad at first but I plan on having a movie night with just us girls and that blanket. We will create better memories together. He may be gone but she will always have me and her sisters.
From one woman/mom to another know your worth. You and your daughter deserve better. Trust me my biggest regret is that I didn’t leave after my youngest was born. The damage he did to our children…believe me when i say it’s better to be alone than to be stuck with a poor excuse of a man.
Say your sad it a natural feeling to have and tell you will fine soon. My 3 year old.caught me crying and I said the same she replied ‘but I’m happy’ flung her arms around me and squeezed me. You will be surprised how much she will help you get through this!! My girls are my world stay strong and keep yourself busy even silly little things xx
Be honest. I have always been straight up with my kid after the divorce was in motion. Some of the comments on here really made me mad. Basically lying to your children on the reason you are crying or upset. Saying they are “happy tears” isn’t going to help or teach your kids anything. Not cool with that. Kids are intelligent and just be honest and transparent. No need to sugar coat anything ever.
You tell the truth, that you don’t know where Daddy is! Hiding the truth is just covering for him, crying is part of the healing process, let those tears out but be strong and do not have him back, yes he can be a dad if he proves that’s what he wants but he has to earn that trust back! Your pain will ease trust me I know, just don’t give him the opportunity to hurt you again as he seems to have done on a couple of times already
If she asks her about her dad I would say simply that you don’t know where he is. The truth is better then bullshit and she’s 5 if she’s anything like my five yr old she will smell that from a mile away. Less lies the better. If she catches you crying again simply say you are crying because you are sad and that happens sometimes. Keep it simple and she probably won’t question it. Move on to something else. Get out of the house or go for a walk how she takes this can be guided by you, distraction still works at this age. So sorry you are both going through this break ups suck
Just tell her you’re sad. It’s okay for your kids to know that you feel sad as well.
The fact She does not ask for him should tell you something. I think When you are over the pain of him doing this you will see that being just You & your daughter is best.
Have some self respect, Don’t go back to him. Your setting a example to your daughter. Give her the example that mom has So much more self love & self respect then being treated so Poorly by a man!
my ex was like that ended up leaving me for one of many other women 4 years later lives 5 minutes away lived 6 years with our son and still doesnt give a crap about him unfortunately. she isnt asking for him because like u said he wasnt there anyways it probably bothers you more then her . please dont take him back he already showed u and told u he didnt care before u had her he meant it clearly and isnt going to change . Kids pick stuff up more then wed like so im sure she already knows .
Heartache is the worst feeling. I’m sorry that this selfish man put you through this. I pray you don’t take him back is it isn’t healthy for you or your daughter. My heart hurts for you. I know the feeling of needing to deep cry and having to hold it in for your kids. If she isn’t asking I wouldn’t say anything. When she does ask I’d be honest with her with as little details as possible…mommy and daddy decided that we shouldn’t live together but we are still a family and love you very much. I pray for you and your baby girl. May God make you strong and may your heart heal quickly.
I wouldn’t tell her about what’s going on as adult choices shouldn’t be held on children’s shoulders.I would just tell her that,mommies just upset about a few things and it’s okay to cry.Im so sorry this is happening to you.