How do I get my partner to have pride in our home?

I’m not a materialistic person, I don’t try to keep up with the Jones’ so to speak, but where I live my family holds a strong reputation, and I want to keep that going and to have general pride in my home. My fiancé couldn’t care less. There are oil spill marks in the driveway, random stuff everywhere, Christmas lights STILL up. We love in a beautiful house it is a nice area. Am I too OCD here, or is there some way to get him to see how the pride of ownership is a real thing??

18 Likes

Some men just don’t care. My husband has wood/metal etc stacked up against our back fence and all kinds of junk right behind our garage. I’ve talked to him but he just doesnt care…

1 Like

Oh and u should see his dads place :astonished::astonished:

It’s not being materialistic it’s just pride in what you have worked so hard to get and you keep working so hard to keep

1 Like

It’s really just the person. My dad is like you and he grew into that behavior. I’m slowly growing into it. But some people never do

1 Like

I’m in the same boat, mine is careless with things, he broke a lamp I newly purchased, and left it standing there broken, I’m furious. When I tackled him about it he had a tantrum when he should be apologetic :roll_eyes:

2 Likes

At least you admit it, but your probably right also of being to OCD. And it just might run him out and cause a bigger problem in y’alls future together oil spots are a bit trivial and sometimes mostly unavoidable that’s just being unfair to expect from a man who can’t control a vehicle :joy:. Some ppl just can’t live together especially when one is OCD and the other one didn’t grow up in a tidy home or if his mother was the maid of the house then he may have a misinterpreted up bringing that it’s a woman’s job to keep the home clean and keep up behind him :woman_shrugging:t3:

You show him the way :blush: Good luck :heart:

2 Likes

How did he grow up? Men can be more lazy of doing the easiest shit but when something they want they do it!

1 Like

Why don’t you clean it up?

15 Likes

Are you insane There is household chores to be done work to go to and now you want her to take all the responsibility for their shared abode ?

6 Likes

It’s annoying… But honestly if you want something done do it yourself.

8 Likes

There is a difference in being dirty and being obsessive. The oil and stuff all over is considered a mess so yes that should be cleaned up. My thought is there is always a difference between filth and clutter
As for making him care, you can’t but if you find a way please let us know. Some people just don’t care of appearance

2 Likes

I don’t think you’re OCD-there is a certain pride in ownership and keeping things looking nice an tidy outside. I would talk to him, maybe try to set up a list and a schedule together…or maybe there’s a kid in the neighborhood you can give a few bucks to help with the cleanup? Just some random ideas.

1 Like

If they bother you so much then you take care of them…? You’re in for a long road if you think you can change somebody. People are who they are and they don’t change.

3 Likes

Pressure washer will help get rid of oil stains on concrete, lights can be taken down with a ladder. Apparently there needs to be some ownership of you doing somethings around the house. If I want something done I do it myself due to my standard of what I want done is different from other peoples as well as wanting it done when asked not tomorrow or in a few min I mean now lol :sweat_smile: husband still doesn’t get it and it bothers the crap out of me since I have to take care of the kids as well as do everything :upside_down_face: its :+1:

4 Likes

As someone with a disabled spouse, leaving me no choice but to do all the things I want done all by myself, it’s not a fun position to be left in. She might want things to be done (i.e. there’s no reason for xmas lights to be up still) and it would be nice if she could rely on her partner to lend a hand instead of leaving her to do it all on her own. Especially when it’s in the interest of making a home they BOTH reside in look nice and stay clean.

2 Likes

Have you talked to him about it not nagged him but talked to him

1 Like

We have oil stains and Christmas lights still up :sweat_smile: we have 3 kids, he works 12 hour shifts, sometimes you gotta let shit slide for a while

If its important to you it should matter to him maybe try explaining that to him.