How do I know what is standard with a 7yo child grieving the loss of a grandparent? Approximately six months ago, my child lost his grandfather. He was extremely close to his grandfather, usually seeing him every single day. His grandfather was ill throughout my child’s entire life, so it was somewhat normal for him. However, in the last few weeks, he was on hospice, and my child knew that wasn’t normal. Reading things online now, I know we made the mistake of just saying, “papa was sick”. When we told him of his grandfather’s passing, he cried for probably twenty minutes & continued with his day. He did not attend funeral services. Now, almost six months later, he has what we call “meltdowns”. Small things like a Disney movie or someone just mentioning their papa upsets him terrible. He is almost inconsolable for thirty minutes. I have researched and read so many articles. I am just worried that we are not doing everything we can for him. Is this normal? Should we consider counseling? Is there something more we could be doing? Any advice or similar situations is very much appreciated!
Counseling would probably be a good option.
Sounds like he never got to say goodbye. Maybe you could hold a “memorial” service even just at your house. And counseling might be a great place to start with him.
My dad used to talk about when he dies and how us body is going wrong Infront of my son… My dad’s 88 and he’s pretty healthy but he’s still 88 so you no… Anyway my son wouoe cry and say is grandad going to die… I told my dad to stop talking about death and my point is I sat with him and explained death to him like it’s a fact no one lives forever but remember you are very young and healthy and there’s no reason anything will happen to you… He seemed to except it better after that… Or a Councillor if yiu can afford it
id try grief counseling
You need to sit him down and talk to him. Explain everything to him in a way he can understand but without treating him like a baby. Hes old enough to know what is happening, he just needs you to be there for him and help guide him in this, hes never had to deal with it before and hes had to do it all alone
The loss of any family that in involved in your child’s life is going to be hard… My sons’ were only five years old when my mom passed away. This year made it 5 years gone, and one of the ways that helps them remember her is to light a candle for her… Needless to say, we have gone through lots of them.
My kids lost their father last year. They are 4, 5 and 6. Grief is always normal and needs to be felt and is never the same for any two people. What he’s experiencing is natural and all you can really do is be there for him. Make sure you talk about his grandfather. Share happy memories. Give him a photo or something special of his grandfathers. My kids attend a group grief counseling session with other kids who’ve lost someone. Ask the school counselor if there is something similar in your area.
You should have let him attend the funeral for one. At this point he should also already have been put in therapy. Good luck.
I would do a brief round of grief counseling just to get a professional insight. A couple sessions with and without you there. They could help with skills to better cope.
Yes it’s normal. You could explain on his age level what has happened and reassure him that his grandpa loved him. A child is just like an adult when grieving. Only difference they dont understand. Just console him when he gets upset. Let him know you’re not going anywhere, he may have fear of you leaving. I’m only speaking from experience. After a bit he’ll be fine. Theres no limit on time to grieve.
Counseling wouldn’t hurt, I hope everything works out for your family
We lost my mom around the same time, my daughter was very close to her. When we went to the care center that she was in, I let my daughter see her to say goodbye, and she attended the funeral, it helped her understand that her grandmother was no longer with us, she grieves, but she understands that Grandma is up in the sky, and we visit her urn as well. It has helped a lot. Kids are more understanding and resilient than we give them credit for. Your son needed the chance to say goodbye, and he may be angry because of it. I would suggest counseling as well.
You need to talk openly about his grandfather. Bring up memories and explain that he will always have them. Ask him how he feels about it and don’t dismiss what u may think are silly things as for him they are real and they are big. Keep communicating especially about his grandfather. If he asks questions answer as honestly as you can.
Six months isn’t a long time.He sounds like he’s grieving as he should be and needs allowed to.Perfectly natural reaction to things that obviously remind of him.Your doing great,let him know after he calms down that you understand how sad he is and rightly so but that it will get better…perhaps also start talking about good memories,have you visited grave with him?
Flowers/final goodbye at the gravesite!(same happened 2 my g-daughter!) she left a letter she wrote, pouring her heart out with “LOVE” N has moved on!
There is no “normal” everyone grieves differently. Even children.
I lost my grandfather 69 years ago i lived with him & grandma my first 9 years & i still miss them the hurt never goes away you just learn to live with it. I was not allowed to go to his funeral eather that was a big mistake.
Hold a service and put a plaque or pebble in plant a tree with your boy for a memorial or Grief counselling phychologist
Your talking to the right.person I.lost.my.husband.3myears ago.my.dad.back in March.of this.year. your son is grieving.his grandpa and yes a Disney.movie.or anything.that.may remind.him of.him will trigger.it. just.be there.for.him remind.him his grandpa.loved.him he is.in a much.better.place.and if he believes.he will see.his grandpa someday.in.heaven but for now we.just.havento muttle thru.grief counseling.is available.thru.your.doctor.my condolences God bless